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Shy Guy Muhammad & The Linger-Nots

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Manage episode 450532902 series 3356936
Inhalt bereitgestellt von Jason Leger & Shauncey Fury, Jason Leger, and Shauncey Fury. Alle Podcast-Inhalte, einschließlich Episoden, Grafiken und Podcast-Beschreibungen, werden direkt von Jason Leger & Shauncey Fury, Jason Leger, and Shauncey Fury oder seinem Podcast-Plattformpartner hochgeladen und bereitgestellt. Wenn Sie glauben, dass jemand Ihr urheberrechtlich geschütztes Werk ohne Ihre Erlaubnis nutzt, können Sie dem hier beschriebenen Verfahren folgen https://de.player.fm/legal.

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Season 5 is Alive! After three weeks in the grave, We Is Risen! As you know, one of our favorite parts of breaking down Bible stories is when you get to see glimpses of the humanity expressed by God's chosen ones. So we thought, what if we brought our same calloused irreverent views on the Bible over to the Koran. Would it be well received? Would we be hunted down like filthy dogs? Well, seeing as there is an entire section of the holy book dedicated to not hanging around after a dinner party that reads very similar to the line, "Do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to let it linger?" it implies that The Cranberries were probably also prophets of the one true god just like Muhammad, and that's just the tip of the Islamberg. Please don't behead us. Won't you join us, friends?

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Manage episode 450532902 series 3356936
Inhalt bereitgestellt von Jason Leger & Shauncey Fury, Jason Leger, and Shauncey Fury. Alle Podcast-Inhalte, einschließlich Episoden, Grafiken und Podcast-Beschreibungen, werden direkt von Jason Leger & Shauncey Fury, Jason Leger, and Shauncey Fury oder seinem Podcast-Plattformpartner hochgeladen und bereitgestellt. Wenn Sie glauben, dass jemand Ihr urheberrechtlich geschütztes Werk ohne Ihre Erlaubnis nutzt, können Sie dem hier beschriebenen Verfahren folgen https://de.player.fm/legal.

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Season 5 is Alive! After three weeks in the grave, We Is Risen! As you know, one of our favorite parts of breaking down Bible stories is when you get to see glimpses of the humanity expressed by God's chosen ones. So we thought, what if we brought our same calloused irreverent views on the Bible over to the Koran. Would it be well received? Would we be hunted down like filthy dogs? Well, seeing as there is an entire section of the holy book dedicated to not hanging around after a dinner party that reads very similar to the line, "Do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to let it linger?" it implies that The Cranberries were probably also prophets of the one true god just like Muhammad, and that's just the tip of the Islamberg. Please don't behead us. Won't you join us, friends?

  continue reading

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Send us a text Well folks, looks like this is the end. Technically it's the beginning... of our series on the end... which if you look at it from a christian viewpoint, is actually the end of the physical world, but the beginning of the longer lasting eternal spiritual world where we shall keep company with the hosts of the heavens which is basically primate chatter for "I'm going up into the stars like Mufasa when I die!" Sure thing, Grandma. Whatever. Now let's get you to the rapture, or we'll never get to heaven! Won't you join us, friends?…
 
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Heretics' Social Club
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Send us a text They say Jesus was born in a stable out behind a hotel, but imagine being the innkeeper who told a pregnant lady on the verge of delivery ON CHRISTMAS EVE that the only spot available for all that business was out with the fucking donkeys. Holy shit. Next thing you know there's a bunch of wise men with gifts knocking on the door. A kid with a drum. Someone who keeps asking Mary if she knew that her baby boy would grow up to be a king. You just gotta keep pointing them back to the stables. Good lord, that's embarrassing. Now imagine being the assholes that blew the entire place to smithereens so that some europeans could live there. Yikes! Won't you join us, friend?…
 
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Heretics' Social Club
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Send us a text Today we're diving into the Bastard Books of the Bible! The books that although they did not ask to be written, were written anyway. They were told their whole lives that they were holy books, but ultimately were not included in the big Family bible we all know and hate. Wait. Am I an Apocryphal book? I think I might be. Hell, you might be too. Let's find out together! Won't you join us, friends?…
 
Send us a text Season 5 is Alive! After three weeks in the grave, We Is Risen! As you know, one of our favorite parts of breaking down Bible stories is when you get to see glimpses of the humanity expressed by God's chosen ones. So we thought, what if we brought our same calloused irreverent views on the Bible over to the Koran. Would it be well received? Would we be hunted down like filthy dogs? Well, seeing as there is an entire section of the holy book dedicated to not hanging around after a dinner party that reads very similar to the line, "Do you have to? Do you have to? Do you have to let it linger?" it implies that The Cranberries were probably also prophets of the one true god just like Muhammad, and that's just the tip of the Islamberg. Please don't behead us. Won't you join us, friends?…
 
Send us a text Our favorite wife sits in with us for spooky season, and doesn't disappoint with the zingers. We talk about rolling down a hill in a barrel filled with glass, burning half to death before they chop your head off, and plenty more spooky ways to die. 101 Diocletians & Cruella ways to die. Won't you join us, friend?…
 
Send us a text Paul continues his domination of the New Testament with his most evangelical work yet. The Book of Romans has 9,447 words, and not one of them is feminist leaning. Paul wrote the book of Romans to explain the salvation process because apparently Jesus hadn't done a good enough job of explaining that during his ministry. Don't worry Jesus, Paul is here to fix all the ways you leveled out the playing field. Enjoy this Pauline Prose until we're back to it in a couple of weeks for our halloween epsiode with Chloe Fury!…
 
Send us a text The Corinthians live on the shore in Greece. The kids call it the Greasy Shore, and MTV is doing a reality show there, but Pauly isn't very happy about the way Ron talks to the ladies at Bed after Sam left because she wasn't feeling very well, so you know he just HHHAAADDD to write a letter. There's mad drama down on the Grecian Shore! Won't you join us, friends?…
 
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Heretics' Social Club
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Send us a text Paul uses his divining rod to find how best to achieve divination on one's rod. We cut straight to the point as Paul jumps from circumcision to castration in a single verse. Give some people an inch, and they take a mile. These beliefs just won't cut it in today's world. As we briskly head into foreshadowed (& fore-skinned) territory, won't you join us friends?…
 
Send us a text "Pauline, Pauline, Pauline, Paaaauuullliiiineeee, I'm begging of you please don't write my man." - Every woman; c. 60-61 ad Trust me, you do NOT want your man hanging out with Paul. Paul is like that guy who talks your dude into staying out all night at the club knowing good and damn well y'all had plans to clean out the garage and get to the Flea Market early enough to get a good table. Giiiiirrrll, keep your man away from Paul. Truuuuuust meeeeeeee! Won't you join us, friends?…
 
Send us a text Hey there Heathens, hope you've got your sweet teeth on because we're about to sink ours into some of Paul's sweetest treats for Christian Men! Fellas, have you ever been practicing your faith, minding your own business when all the jibber jabber from the fairer sex makes you lose your concentration on the teachings of brainwashery? Look no further than the writings of Paul. He's got all the best comebacks and disses for you to talk shit with bible verse references. Or you could not hide behind the words of a woman hating epileptic. Won't you join us, friends?…
 
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Heretics' Social Club
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Send us a text Imagine this. Your name is Saul. You're on your way to a dumb ass kiss or something, when BOOM! God turns on the fluorescents and Jesus says "Whatcha doin' in mah waters?" Next thing you know, there are scales falling out of your eyeballs. You told everyone your name was Saul, but it was loud, and everyone thought you said Paul. Now people are calling you that, and you don't want to be rude by correcting them. Next thing you know, you're writing letters to some dudes telling them not to let their old ladies talk in church. Diamonds all in your mouth, smiling at the gentiles all over the south. What it do baby? Won't you join us, friends?…
 
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Heretics' Social Club
Heretics' Social Club podcast artwork
 
Send us a text Well, it was inevitable. We always knew this day would come. Today we're talking about Islam, but before you get mad at us, just know that it's mostly a True-Crime episode. We go over the "ministry" of Saeed Hanaei of Mashad, Iran. A bold man who decided to take it upon himself to eradicate his city of opportunities to sin. Did he build a university to educate the women committing these acts? Maybe he started a group home to allow them the safety to exist without the looming threats forcing them into sex work? Maybe he created a sex-positive space to help avoid unwanted pregnancies, and stds? Nah. He just killed them for existing. Man stuff. God stuff. We find this behavior disgusting, and refuse to pretend it wasn't facilitated by zealous religiosity. Won't you join us, friends?…
 
Send us a text The Mormons have been on our radar for a solid minute, most of our lives to be honest. What is it about those pasty white boys, and their multiple wives? Is it the secret underwear? Is it the special gold plates that only Joseph Smith could read? Is it the indentured servitude of all young men to go, and spread the message to the masses? Is Cain of the Cain and Abel story still alive, and masquerading as Bigfoot in the Americas? All these questions and more will be answered. Keep in mind that this episode was divinely delivered to us by an angel with a thick Italian accent, and an equally thick mustache named "Stupido." Won't you join us, friends?…
 
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Heretics' Social Club
Heretics' Social Club podcast artwork
 
Send us a text 'Cause we ain't working here no more. By "working" we mean talking about; and by "here" of course we're referring to the Book of Job! This pile of reasons to worship god is flimsier than the competitors brand on a paper towel commercial. Job gets "comforted" by some of the worst chuckleheads on earth, and above. Tune in to hear the exciting conclusion of our series on Job: Curse God & Die which includes not one, but two exciting monologues performed simultaneously by increasingly louder voices as we shout over one another to be heard. Won't you join us, friends?…
 
Send us a text Hey there gang! We're getting into the good parts of the story of Job. You know, the part where he starts scraping his skin off with a piece of old pottery his wife threw at him when she was telling him to curse god, and die. It's pretty much his prized possession at this point. Like that part in The Jerk, where Steve Martin just starts grabbing trash, and saying, "it's just me and this broken piece of leprosy covered pottery my wife threw at me, and this thermos." We do a play, and both use every accent we're capable of in just a matter of minutes. Won't you join us, friend?…
 
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