Episode 19: C-PTSD and Communication - Good Communication Communicates

Out of My Mind in Costa Rica-Living with CPTSD

Episode 19

C-PTSD and Communication

Good Communication Communicates

March 11, 2021

Would you like to improve your communication? Here are Four simple steps that will make an immediate impact. Implement these strategies into your repertoire and life will get better.

1. Stay in your own lane. You can’t speak for the other person. You can only speak to your own needs, your own wants, and your own desires. Keep in mind that it the responsibility of the speaker to be clear, and it is the responsibility of the listener to listen.
2. Practice self-soothing. Use your breath to help you regain clarity in your message. Breathe deeply and slowly. In addition, know exactly, what you want to say. It must be clear in your mind before you can convey it clearly to another person.
3. Use what they call an “I message.” This is a way of talking to your loved one, your boss, your child or pretty much anyone. It is easy to do and extremely effective. It helps you to stay on your side of the road. (#1)

I Messages have two “I’s” in them. Like your head has two eyes. It is basically a three-step process.

Step 1 State how you are feeling.

1. I feel sad …

2. I feel happy …

3. I feel anxious …

Step 2 State the experience.

1. when I am not included in your plans.

2. when I see your smiling face.

3. when I get no response from you.

Step 3 Together they go like this.

1. I feel sad when I am not included in your plans.

2. I feel happy when I see your smiling face.

3. I feel anxious when there is no response from you.

Repeat step 1, 2 and 3 as often as you need to.

Stonewalling turned out to be the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. The moment I realized I have been stonewalled for years, I realized that the jig was up and I had only one choice left.

https://www.kylebenson.net/stonewalling/

I cannot stress enough the role that Attachment Styles and Communication come into play when it comes to healthy relationships. Here are a couple of sites that take a closer look at attachment theory and how people with C-PTSD have less social support.

https://www.yourtango.com/2019329229/attachment-styles-that-affect-your-communication-skills-relationships

https://sciworthy.com/people-with-complex-ptsd-report-less-social-support-than-those-with-ptsd/

Alexander Draghici, MS, LCPC, from e-counseling.com has come up with 20 things NOT to say to people with PTSD. E-Counseling is an online mental health resource for people seeking support, advice and a connection to a licensed counselor.

https://www.e-counseling.com/ptsd/things-not-to-say-to-someone-with-ptsd/