Ep. 183: I'm Tired of Being the One Who Holds It All Together — And He Doesn't Even Know I Do

The Intentional Midlife Mom Podcast | Simple, Practical Life, Home & Mindset Solutions for Moms Over 40

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Let me tell you what nobody sees.

She's the glue.
The memory.
The calendar.
The compass.

She's the one who plans the college visits and remembers who needs a cavity filled.

The one who's worrying at 2 a.m. about her kid's anxiety—whether they have real friends, whether they'll be okay, whether that comment they made last week was just teenage drama or something darker.

She's the one tracking everyone's emotional temperature.

Noticing when her daughter gets quiet.
When her son starts withdrawing.
When her husband checks out.

She's the one managing the big stuff nobody else even knows needs to be managed:

The financial stress of older kids.
The logistics of aging parents.
The weight of keeping everyone emotionally afloat while she's drowning.

And somehow, in the middle of all that…

He thinks she's "just in a mood."

He thinks he deserves a high-five for picking up dinner—while she's carrying their entire life.

There’s so much to unpack here - so much that we women can understand about what he’s actually doing and not doing…and how to explain what life’s like for us in a way he can actually understand it WITHOUT getting defensive or turning it back around on us.

This is Episode 4 of the series:
"Marriage Conversations Midlife Besties Are Having (But Afraid to Say Out Loud)."

I'm Jennifer Roskamp, and this is The Intentional Midlife Mom podcast.

Welcome, I’m so glad you’re here.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Free guide: He Doesn't Get It (Yet): How to Help Him See What You're Carrying—Without Starting Another Fight - GET IT HERE
• Check out all the marriage resources at: https://www.jenniferroskamp.com/midlife-marriages-maps

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Kapitel

1. The Invisible Load of Caregiving (00:00:00)

2. Understanding Emotional Labor in Relationships (00:01:56)

3. The Invisible Load of Midlife Women (00:03:20)

4. Understanding the Emotional Burden (00:06:17)

5. The Disconnect in Partnership (00:09:11)

6. The Fantasy of Letting Go (00:13:08)

7. The Danger of Resignation (00:16:24)

8. Redistributing the Weight (00:19:20)

9. Finding Language for Change (00:23:32)