Shadow Work with Black Cats and Sharks

The Feel Better Every Day Podcast

For Black Cat Appreciation Day this week, we explore how we "other" creatures like sharks and black cats - and how this mirrors the parts of ourselves we reject. Join the Sole to Soul Circle for a live (online) deeper dive into your own shadow on Monday 18th August

🖤 Join Eve Menezes Cunningham as she dives into shadow work using the Feel...Love...Heal framework. Inspired by Netflix's "Shark Whisperer" and her own rescue cats (especially Rainbow MagnifiCat), Eve explores how embracing our whole selves (including the parts we've labelled as "monstrous") can transform our relationships and create a more compassionate world.

✨ You'll learn:

* How projection keeps us from seeing our full humanity

* Why we fear powerful parts of ourselves

* Gentle approaches to shadow work and self-acceptance

* How loving our rejected parts heals our connections with others

🔗 Join the Sole to Soul Circle for deeper shadow work exploration

🔗 Find more resources at selfcarecoaching.net

Next week: High Functioning Co-dependence (Episode 72)

#shadowwork #SelfCare #TraumaInformed #ADHDFriendly #Podcast #SelfAcceptance #feelbettereveryday

This episode features special guest appearances from Mighty Meadbh, Eve's rescue cat 🐱

Feel Better Every Day! Learn from the self and Self* care practices the professionals depend on. With a mixture of solo and interview episodes, your host, Eve Menezes Cunningham (author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing) shares trauma-informed and VAST / ADHD-friendly self and Self* care ideas to help you:

• Feel... regulate your nervous system and do the things that help you create a life you don’t need to retreat from

• Love... accept yourself completely with love, compassion and kindness – you don’t need to do a thing and

• Heal... turn what hurts your heart into action to support your family, organisations, communities and the world at large

Thanks for watching. New episodes come out every Tuesday morning (Ireland time) and if you subscribe (via your favourite podcasting app or by joining the Sole to Soul Circle), you’ll be notified about each new episode. Sole to Soul Circle members get deeper dives each week.

WANT TO WORK WITH ME?

• There’s the book – 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing – and all the book bonus videos.

• All the free resources (for trauma, ADHD, menopause, solopreneurs, anxiety, sleep, confidence, resilience, finding purpose, meaning and joy and more) across my platforms and the library of self-care ideas and practices at

https://selfcarecoaching.net

• You can join the Sole to Soul Circle on Substack (https://evemc.substack.com ) and get bonus interviews and content specially designed to help you dive deeper into each week’s theme.

• If you want to support my work but don’t want to commit to a membership, even for a month, you can choose any amount at https://ko-fi.com/evemc

• Find out more about my private practice for one to one work. If you’re based in Ireland or the UK, it’s worth completing the short form at https://selfcarecoaching.net/contact to book your free telephone consultation in the hope that we can find a mutually convenient time to work together (trauma-informed and ADHD-friendly therapies, Self care coaching, clinical supervision and supervisor’s supervision).

WANT TO CONNECT WITH ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA?

You can find me almost everywhere – please say "Hi" and share your questions or comments:

YouTube @evemenezescunningham

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Facebook @FeelBetterEveryDay

And if you’d like to leave a review and/or rate this and other episodes you’ve enjoyed, your feedback and support helps me help more people (of all genders) with trauma histories and/or ADHD take better care of their whole selves and create lives they don’t need to retreat from.

CHAPTERS / CATPURRS

(0:00 – 0:58) Black cat cameo and podcast intro

(0:59 – 11:02) Sharks, shadow work and misunderstood creatures

(11:02 – 11:31) Healing through acceptance

(11:33 – 13:20) Leaving the world better than you found it

(13:20 – 15:18) Shadow work and embracing our power

(15:19 – 16:34) Rescue cats, love, and letting it expand

DISCLAIMER

The content I share is not a replacement for one to one trauma therapy (etc). While you can do an enormous amount to support yourself, please always seek appropriate medical advice. Thanks for watching. Please subscribe / follow and share with someone who you think will benefit from this episode.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Like Marianne Williamson talked about… [pop Marianne Williamson into the Search on my site to read my interview with her]. I think I have a cat behind me. I do, I have a cat right next to me. It's not a black cat, it's Mighty Meadbh, little wondercat. She was the feral mammy who, oh bless her, she's gorgeous. And I othered her, when she appeared in the garden, she was terrorising Rainbow. I didn't know she had all the kittens at the time, but she kept turning up and I was like, oh my god, I can't have any more cats. And then there were 11 cats and I had to deal with them.

Hi, I'm Eve Menezes Cunningham and you're listening to episode 71 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. Every Tuesday, I share trauma-informed and ADHD-friendly self-care ideas to help you take better care of yourself and your Self with that uppercase S for that highest, wisest, truest, wildest, most joyful, brilliant and miraculous part of yourself.

Ideally, to help you create a life you don't need to retreat from. You can find out more at thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com and for deeper dives into each week's theme, you can join the Sole to Soul Circle. As well as bonus interviews and practices, there are live circles online and instant access to the whole Love Your Whole Self chakra journey.

You might also find the book, 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing, helpful. And other resources available at selfcarecoaching.net.

Today's episode, in honour of Black Cat Appreciation Day this week, I was hoping to have a little cameo from Rainbow, but we're going to be talking about sharks, those misunderstood monsters.

I recently watched Shark Whisperer on Netflix. If you haven't seen it, I recommend at least giving it a go. I would not have thought it was my kind of programme / documentary at all and I absolutely adored it. Someone close to me really pushed recommending it and I'm so glad I did.

It follows Ocean Ramsey as she uses her long history with sharks. From the time she was growing up in Hawaii she wasn't scared. She swims with them and does an enormous amount of work trying to save them from the real monsters on the planet, the humans.

Sorry, I don't mean to be down on humans.

There are many, many amazing humans, but the point of Black Cat Appreciation Day is that a lot of people malign paw, beautiful black cats as unlucky, as bad somehow, as not photogenic enough. They brought in this day to help rescues place more black cats.

Rainbow Magnificat (obviously every day is Rainbow Appreciation Day here) changed my life.

Sharks changed Ocean Ramsey's life. The power of connecting with her own energy as she works with theirs and also what she's had to do in life… I'm so happy she found her partner who's equally in love with sharks.

For the purpose of this episode, we're not going to be diving with sharks. We're not even going to be swimming with sharks. I've also been watching, what is it? Shark: Celebrity Infested Waters, which again, is aiming to bring awareness.

I wish they'd shown more around what they were doing to support contestants with their anxiety and fears. It could be quite educational in that regard as well, but the sharks are amazing.

We call sharks monsters. I don't, but a lot of people hate sharks. They won't swim in the ocean. They're scared because we've been taught to fear them. They've been othered.

Unfortunately, we live in a time where many, many, many groups of people and individuals are othered for things they have no control over. The more we own our whole shadows, the more we can bring about a more peaceful way of life for all who come into contact with us by not projecting our fears and our monstrous parts onto others.

Start by asking yourself, have you ever really, really, really not liked someone?

And it might be like absolutely loads of people you really don’t like, or it might be, “Oh, I'm not supposed to dislike people.”

The more we can work with the parts of ourselves that don't like someone and own those parts we're projecting out onto them back in ourselves, we can create beautiful friendships. We can really transform things.

But if we just let ourselves dismiss politicians, people, like entire groups of people as completely monstrous, we're dehumanising ourselves. We're all complex. We're all worthy of love and safety and shelter and all good things.

I want you to think about how you feel about addressing your shadow. As we move into the feel, part of the Feel... Love... Heal... framework, do you consider black cats to be bad luck? Do you consider sharks to be monsters?

Think of something you dislike or someone you dislike or even hate and just ask yourself how it feels to contemplate the possibility that what you hate within them or what you dislike or what you fear in them is within yourself.

We're going to be doing a deeper dive into shadow work on Monday the 18th for Sole to Soul Circle members.

You can join if you're not already a member at evemc.substack.com. It's just eight euros a month and you can leave anytime. And you have that instant access.

But because of the nature of shadow work, it's an RSVP circle and I'm very much encouraging live attendance for Monday the 18th of August at 6.30pm to 7pm so that there's no recording.

It's a sensitive issue and I want people to feel really safe. Think about how that feels for you.

Are you scared of shadow work? Are you scared to look within yourself and think about what it might be within you?

It's not all, like, scary stuff. It's not all, like, unlucky stuff. It's not. Sometimes, like, Marianne Williamson talked about… [pop Marianne Williamson into the Search on my site to read my interview with her] I think I have a cat behind me. I do. I have a cat right next to me.

It's not a black cat. It's Mighty Meadbh, little wondercat. She was the feral mammy who, oh bless her, she's gorgeous.

And I was othering her. When she appeared in the garden, she was terrorising Rainbow. I didn't know she had all the kittens at the time, but she kept turning up and I was like, oh my god, I can't have any more cats. And then there were 11 cats and I had to deal with them.

But think about for the love part of the Feel... Love... Heal... framework. Sorry, she's acting like I'm a tree. She's kind of cutting into my leg there. So professional.

Thinking about the Love part of the Feel... Love... Heal... framework and how you, how it might feel to even begin to imagine accepting the parts of yourself, the part of yourself that you struggle to accept, that you might be projecting into others or that you know you have done in the past.

If you've seen Moana, I've got a couple blog posts about it. If you go to selfcarecoaching.net and just search Moana, Moana 2. I don't think I'm giving away spoilers to share that she's a delightful animation character with an enormous heart.

There's a scene in it where there's this dangerous island and everyone fears and loathes this island. She recognises that the island was traumatised and needs love and healing. She has such a big heart, she is able to help that island heal and turn into this bountiful, beauteous, fertile, gorgeous land.

I'm not suggesting anyone does this in any way, shape or form to endanger themselves. I'm not talking about diving with sharks, swimming with sharks, anything like that. If you're in a situation, boundaries, boundaries, boundaries are always essential.

But being open to the humanity in the person, it's helping you also be open to your whole humanity. Notice if it's possible. If you think about what you're potentially rejecting in yourself, can you be with this part of yourself?

I don't want to go into too much detail in this open podcast. As I said, I'll be going into more depth with shadow work in the Circle on Monday evening. But if it feels good for you, I'm trusting you to know yourself best. This can be quite deep work, this can be quite scary and powerful. It can also be really gentle and delightful. If it feels good for you, think about a part of yourself that you have rejected, that you have considered monstrous or unlucky or whatever it is, unphotogenic, whatever it is.

Just notice how it feels to send that part of you some love, some compassion, some acceptance.

And it might be, “Yep, I can imagine doing that. I might even go back to a few weeks ago and dig out that Metta meditation for the unloved parts or the parts that are harder to love, and for Sole to Soul Circle members.”

But you don't need to do that. You can just send some love. It might be from a distance, or you might really connect with this part and embrace it.

Notice what feels good for you. Let yourself be. You don't have to change anything, just see how it feels to love, see how it feels to accept.

To move on to the Heal part of the Feel... Love... Heal... framework, ask yourself, what kind of world do you want to live in?

We're all connected. We're all equal. We happen to be born in places where we're luckier than others or to families or parents. There are all sorts of different types of privilege. But can you imagine how much better things would be for everyone if all creatures, ourselves included, owned our shadows?

It might be that you love sharks or black cats or whatever creatures. It might be that you work with groups of people who are typically misrepresented and demonised, all sorts of unkind ways of working.

I want to leave you with a quote from Juan [Shark Whisperer], I'm afraid I didn't catch his last name, his mother Marlou West had told him. He was Ocean Ramsey's photographer. He came across her because he was photographing in the ocean surfers and what have you. And then they got together.

He talked about his mother always saying to, “Try to leave the world a little better than you found it.”

Thinking for yourself, what can you do?

It might be advocating for something that scares you like sharks or anything else, black cats, whatever.

What will you do to make things a little better for yourself, your family, your loved ones, your community, your organisations? What can you do?

And what will you give yourself permission to do, even if perhaps like sharks or black cats, it scares you a little.

If you were to imagine that you could, I love the Gloria Steinem quote about acting as if everything you do matters because it might. What kind of difference do you want to make? And how can you? That's another shadow part you might want to come back to. It's not all the scary stuff.

It's not all the shameful stuff. It's not all the things that we think aren't nice. It's often the powerful parts. It's often the fear. I got distracted by the cat, didn't I? I was saying about the Marianne Williamson.

And the our deepest fear is not that way. I've forgotten. I interviewed her ages ago, but it's gorgeous. But it is that powerful beyond measure, that fear of your own power. That's an important part of shadow work, too.

Just like the shark and the cat and all creatures have their vulnerabilities, have their powers, we are the same. We want to welcome the whole emotional landscape. We want to welcome our whole selves, love our whole selves, have more compassion for ourselves and others, and create a bit more ease in this wonderful world we get to live in.

So next week, we're going to be exploring high functioning codependence. I hope you'll join us for that (episode 72).

In the meantime, thank you so much for listening. If you haven't already, and you would like to, feel free to rate, review, comment, subscribe, share with someone who might enjoy this episode. Thank you again for listening.

This episode was produced by me, your host, Eve Menezes Cunningham. And she's back! Rainbow, of course, Black Cat Week is nowhere to be seen. But look, little Meadbh! Little gorgeous, gorgeous Meadbh. She's, oh my god, they're so gorgeous. This morning, feeding Angel and Teri Crews Cat, they're still the ferals outside. They come inside occasionally. But Angel goes for all the other cats, unfortunately. He was a runt. And Meadbh here kept him alive by feeding him as one of her own little kittens.

When I went from one to 11 overnight, as I got to know them, it was like, there were just so many cats. And it was like, why are there sometimes five kittens and sometimes six? It turns out Angel was from a different litter. But he has forgotten that his mammy, or his surrogate mammy, who helped keep him alive. And he'll terrorise her as well.

But with me, like this morning, like normally he lets me pick him up after like nearly two years in the shed when I've put the food down. But this morning, he let me pick him up right outside the house. And he just kind of goes, all like purr and rubs noses with me. And you just think, they are rescue cats, all creatures, sharks. Just think about something you love that other people don't.

Let that love expand for you. Let yourself know love is never wrong. And protect yourself, like have healthy boundaries, but enjoy the good, the healing, the connections, all of it, and have an amazing week.