Community as Self Care (with Elizabeth Potts)

The Feel Better Every Day Podcast

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Hi, I’m Eve Menezes Cunningham, and welcome to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast.

This week we’re talking about why it’s often easier to hold space for others than to let ourselves be held.

I’m joined by Elizabeth Potts, one of my favourite yoga teachers from The Yoga Root in Westport.

We explore what it means to create authentic, nourishing spaces—and how to give ourselves grace when we’re struggling to receive care, even when we desperately need it.

If you’ve ever found yourself crying with gratitude in a yoga class, or wondering why self-care feels so hard when caring for others comes naturally, this conversation is for you.

New episodes every Tuesday morning (Ireland time). Subscribe for notifications. Join the Sole to Soul Circle for deeper dives including bonus interviews, EFT Tap Alongs, yoga poses, breath practices and meditations, journal prompts and more. Is the Feel Better Every Day Podcast helping you? Please share and leave a ★★★★★ rating and review. Your support helps me reach more trauma survivors and people with ADHD or AuDHD. Learning to care for, love and accept yourself is a radical act. Your healing creates ripples and helps others remember peace and ease is everyone’s birthright too. Míle buíochas (a thousand thank yous).

CHAPTERS

(2:40–3:45) Why it’s easier to hold space for others than to be held ourselves

(6:56–8:37) Teaching with authenticity and not performing on the mat

(9:00–10:53) Creativity as self-care through art, pottery, and connection with her daughter

(11:14–13:29) Finding calm and grounding through breath when there’s no bandwidth

(13:38–15:52) The mindful morning coffee ritual as an anchor through transition

(17:35–19:24) The practice of returning to yourself and allowing imperfection

(21:06–24:57) The need for community support and rebuilding the metaphorical village

LINKS

Peace Begins at Home (with Gina Miltiadou): Episode 81 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast

FULL TRANSCRIPT

And I was delighted when you did. I remember you made amazing, was it vegan lemon poppy seed cake when I did a workshop there for you? Oh yeah, yeah. And it’s just that I didn’t know you but it just made me feel so again held and welcome, but I think that’s partly why I felt a bit tearful, now I can drive, now I can be there, like enjoy and just the vision, like how integral it is to Westport, how like it’s just so lovely that it’s taken root and it’s really gorgeous.

Yeah, it really is special, it really is special and I think you can really feel, you know, the intention and the love and the work that’s gone into us, you know, and to make you a really authentic space is what it is, you know, if you come to my class or Derrick’s or, you know, our other teachers, all very unique classes, very different styles of teaching, but yeah, all very authentic, very much us, you know, so you would never catch me floating off the mat.

Hi, you’re listening to episode 83 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. I’m your host, Eve Menezes Cunningham, and I’m here to help people with trauma, ADHD, AuDHD, take better care of yourselves, create a life you don’t need to retreat from, and help build a world in which everyone feels safe, welcome, and loved, able to thrive.

You can access full show notes, the transcript, links, and loads of other resources through thefeelbettereverydaypodcast.com and selfcarecoaching.net, and I really hope you enjoy my interview with the delightful Elizabeth Potts.

She’s one of my favourite yoga teachers, and I really look forward to hearing your comments and questions, and what you’re going to do to give yourself as much grace as possible as you build community that is nourishing and supportive for yourself, as well as for others. Enjoy.

Welcome Elizabeth Potts, thank you so much for joining me.

As a little bit of background, today’s episode is kind of like why it’s sometimes so much easier to hold space for others than it is to allow ourselves to be held and cared for, and I know, like, I adore the work I do, and I struggle to relax into other people’s space-holding, trauma, ADHD, all the rest of it, and when I joined The Yoga Root a couple months ago now, I think, because I only learned to drive, so I knew you a little bit, I knew Derrick, but your first class I attended, I nearly wept with gratitude.

Seriously, I cannot tell you just how amazing that space felt, and how I hadn’t realised how much I needed it, I hadn’t, like, and I’ve been just going to as many classes as I can, just absolutely loving it, but I wanted to thank you for being here, and to also ask you to introduce yourself, say what you do, I’ve kind of launched in.

Thank you.

Where can people find you?

Yeah, so I’m teaching out of The Yoga Root almost every day, and yoga teacher slash mother slash all around everything, so I’m busy, but I really love the work that I do, you said you’re really passionate about your work, and what you said is why I really love the work that I do, because it’s a very connected type of work, you know, I’m not just sitting and pushing buttons, or something like that, but I’m actually, you know, feeling like the push and pull between my students, my inner, my inner self, as I’m teaching, as I’m practising, and teaching has become very much a part of my personal yoga practice as well.

The Yoga Root, we’ve been open five years now, and it has been just an amazing space to come into with Derrick and Conor, the owners, and to kind of create this community here that me and Derrick really wanted as teachers previously, who were kind of teaching around at all different places, we really wanted a space that was warm, and ours, and developed, you know, into something that could really nurture people, and so yeah, I feel like we’ve really been able to create that over the years.

Yeah, I remember, so I met Derrick, I covered one of his classes when I first moved to Ireland in 2019, and I was in a studio rental, it was this teeny tiny, like a friend called it a glorified shed, and I had a cupboard, and like not a proper bed, and Rainbow, my cat, was basically, she was so traumatised by the journeys, and all the moves, and the first time I ever met Derrick, he went straight over to my bed to talk to Rainbow, and he was like, I’d mentioned Rainbow to everyone who’d been there, but he was like the first person who made a beeline for her, and it was just like, I remember him saying about wanting to create this space, and being delighted when you did, I remember you made amazing, was it vegan lemon poppy seed cake? When I did a workshop there a few years ago, and it’s just like, I didn’t know you, but it just made me feel so, again, held, and welcomed, but I think that’s partly why I felt a bit tearful, now I can drive, now I can be there, like enjoy classes, and just the vision, like how integral it is to Westport, how like, it’s just so lovely that it’s taken root, and it, yeah, I’m feeling a bit tearful today, it’s really gorgeous.

Yeah, it really is special, it really is special, and I think you can really feel, you know, the intention, and the love, and the work that’s gone into us, you know, into making a really authentic space, is what it is, you know, if you come to my class, or Derrick’s, or you know, our other teachers, all very unique classes, very different styles of teaching, but yeah, all very authentic, very much us, you know, so you would never catch me floating off the mat, I’m definitely, yeah, a real kind of connection person, yeah, so if I’m having a bad day, you know, I like to kind of let people know that, hey, you know, I’m tired too, I’m there with you, you know, and let’s, let’s move, and because I honestly believe that stepping onto your mat, just stepping onto it, is enough action, yeah, to help you through.

Yeah, whatever’s going on, so, and also by not arguing with reality, by acknowledging that you’re tired, rather than trying to perform, right, I mean, you’ve just explained why your classes are, you’re one of my all-time favourite teachers, and it is that kind of, rather than, “I’m going to plough through, I’m going to…” it’s like, yeah, no, everyone is struggling, everyone is suffering, and everyone is joyful, everyone, like, it’s all of it.

It’s well, yeah, we have all the things, yeah, and yeah, being on your mat, doing your practice, you know, like, it’s, it’s meant to be a very personal thing, and so if you’re, you know, feeling like you have to perform, it’s hard to be in your personal space, so, yeah.

In terms of my Feel. Love. Heal. framework, so the Feel bit is the active self-care, when you’ve got the energy, the bandwidth to do something that might help you feel better, regulate your nervous system, whatever that might be, what would be your ideal, and what is realistic with life, hectic life?

I’d be a very creative type of person, you know, so ideally, I would be every day doing some bit of art, yeah, I take watercolour classes from one of my students, I take pottery classes with one of my friends. It’s a really good way of kind of exploring my mind, and my feelings, and stuff like that, through creating something tangible in front of me, so ideally, I’d be doing that all the time.

But of course, child care really comes into play a lot, so creatively, you know, if I can’t go to a class, if I can’t do something like this, journaling, and creating something in front of me that way is very good, watercolour is very good for that as well, because it’s just a small kit, you can just pop open anywhere, you know.

But also, with Ophelia, my daughter, you know, creating things with her, right, so we would bake together, or we really, really like going on little walks, and she makes these little collections, she calls her lections, and we bring back the lections to make art projects, so we would make a little nature scene, or something like that, and it kind of helps me to be in my body and creative while also doing the mommy thing, you know, so yeah, it’s a doable little bit of self-care, you know.

So you have the being held with the yoga student, who’s also your art teacher, or the pottery teacher, and then you’re also sharing that and connecting with your gorgeous daughter, and yeah, that’s, oh, that’s so lovely.

What about when you don’t have the bandwidth? When you, like, I call it Love, and like thinking of the love archetype, so ideal world, when you know you don’t need to do a thing, you’re already whole, you’re already perfect, there’s no need to improve anything, but giving yourself grace when that’s too hard, and you need to do something, like distract, but yeah, that connection with that uppercase Self, that like highest, truest, wisest, most miraculous part of yourself. Would you say anything there?

On like a very small level, when I have no bandwidth, and that could happen a lot, I find like just breath work does a lot for me. Even if, you know, I have a lot going on, I’m stressing out, and I find myself in that moment going, you know, holding my breath, and holding that tension, and everything like that, the simple act of, I like to think it’s just this little reset, going from everything’s falling apart, everything’s falling apart, to being like, OK, stop. Actually, this is what’s going on, you know, it’s kind of a way for me to reset my mind, because I would have struggled a lot in my past with anxiety, and depression.

And it’s easy, especially when that’s kind of in your history, to slip back into those things, you know, it can kind of creep up on you. In my yoga practice, you know, that’s been immensely helpful in that way, because it’s brought me into the space of really noticing small things like my shoulders tensing up my neck getting tight, things like that, where you’re just like, you know, but realise you’re like, Oh, no, this is me taking on this big held breath. Yeah, you know, and in the very small short span of time, that breath out, can actually do a lot to say, I’m OK.

In this moment, I’m OK, it’s OK, you know, and I can take this next step forward. I like to start my mornings, I started doing this, I’m only a single mom this year. So it’s been a huge transition.

And that transition was also kind of in one of the worst ways that could happen. So dealing with, like the emotional fallout of this shocking event in my life, something I just did not expect to happen, but also didn’t expect to, you know, have a daughter in this position either, you know, and so I started just first thing in the morning, setting up Ophelia with her breakfast and whatever else, and, you know, kind of getting her into a little tucked spot.

And then making my coffee and I come sit in my bed. I open the window and I stare at this plant. And at this window. And I just give myself to the end of that cup of coffee.

And I mean, that’s a big goal when you have a five year old. A whole cup of coffee. Yeah. But I give myself, I’m going to drink my cup of coffee, even if I wake up late.

Yeah. Even if I haven’t slept all night, and really, I could sleep 10 more minutes or whatever, it’s become such an important, important part of my routine to sit and mindfully drink my cup of coffee. And I say mindfully, as in I’m not scrolling my phone. I’m not planning my day. I’m noticing the things that are popping up in my head, and then practising not judging myself for that. Yeah, because it will pop up, you only have 20 minutes to do you only and you need to get it ready and you need to get out the door and you need to plan your class and you’d sit, you know, and noticing all that bubbling up.

And then I’m just drinking my coffee. I’m just looking at the leaves. I’m just looking out the window.

You know, it’s been an incredibly powerful, small practice in my life, to the point where I cannot start my day without it. It’s so important to me. It’s fantastic.

That is so lovely. And I also really appreciate you sharing the struggle with it. Like I imagine it’s again, like when you’re teaching yoga, and everyone looks so serene, but you also know from your own practice, that serene people can be feeling really struggly underneath.

Yes. Yes. I noticed like with the classes, because I hadn’t been to classes for so long. And also now knowing I have autism and ADHD and the sensory issues that I just didn’t understand, as well as the trauma.

When I started going to classes in London, and I did my training in London, and there’d be like someone’s foot in your nose, and I’d just be like, and I just thought like, why am I so sensitive? What’s wrong with me? And like, it would be an empty class, and someone would come right next to me.

Whereas training in trauma-informed yoga, doing all the things, all the work I’ve done over the decades, but then in these classes recently, putting on my eye mask and lying down before the class begins. And I never have dreamed of doing that. And I’ll always be on one of the edges. But it’s like, sometimes it’s like, I’m just telling myself, “It’s OK, Evie Cat, you’re safe. It’s OK.”

It’s like, it’s such a gorgeous, safe, nourishing, phenomenal space. And I’m still at nearly 50, having to talk so gently to myself, because it’s like you have those moments of complete ease and connection and peace, and then the fear or the rush or the whatever it is. And I think people don’t understand that about meditation or about anything like that. It’s the practice, the constantly bringing yourself back. Absolutely, it is exactly that.

That’s why you call it a practice. Yeah, it’s always a practice. It’s never a mastery of, you know, because, I mean, this is something that I’ve worked for years and years and years and years to be able to come into a chaotic situation and read myself, simply read myself, has taken so many years.

And it’s very normal for students to step into the room. And we come in with expectations, you know, on ourselves, expecting what other people are going to think as I move expecting what the teacher is going to think when she watches me, you know, and the same with the teacher, you know, looking out, and you come in with these expectations of what people are going to want out of this class. And that took years to say, this is what I offer.

This is what it is. And that’s OK. And that’s enough.

And that’s worthwhile. Yeah, you know, and the same as the student coming in putting on your eye mask, that is enough. And that is worthwhile.

That is an offering as much to yourself as it is to the teacher and the other people around you because you are taking your practice personally. And that is the very core of what we’re trying to practice is taking care of ourselves so that our stability, wellness, realness can reverberate out. Yeah, you know, to the bigger Self.

Yeah. Yeah. And I’m also thinking you’re talking about that coffee being so important.

And little Ophelia is well trained in terms of letting mommy drink her coffee in peace?

Definitely not. She comes in 150 times.

And I and I’m like, “Ophelia, thank you so much for telling me that you know what, I’m just gonna finish my coffee. And then I’m gonna come out to you or whatever...” And a lot of times that’s her rolling in my lap.

And I felt like if she comes and she wants to play and be on me, I will set my coffee aside. And I will focus on this in the moment right here. And then say, OK, why don’t you go brush your teeth? I’m gonna finish my coffee, you know, and really, really just making that effort to try just to try and I mean, most mornings, I don’t get my entire cup of coffee, but I do get, you know, the mental entire cup of coffee.

Because even if I get two minutes, yeah, I’m gonna look, I’m gonna look out that window, I’m gonna sit this and feel the hot coffee on my tongue. Yeah, and know that I’m starting to stay. OK, I’m OK in this moment.

And it would be like, I mean, what you’re doing there, they’re not arguing with reality. They’re like, Hello, I’m gonna rather than I’m going to stay completely focused on my coffee.

And you’re like, it makes it all punitive. Exactly. You’re missing the whole point.

You’ve mentioned like the pottery classes, the art classes, obviously, the community at The Yoga Root, in terms of the Heal element of my framework, that kind of post traumatic growth, the co-regulation, the collective care, what helps you and what would you like others to know or consider?

It helps me a lot, talking to other people, I’m not a very private person, you know, I think, you know, I’ve always really liked working through problems with others, you know, I’m very community driven.

I have, you know, friends, or, you know, I might call home, you know, I talk a lot to my mom, who is retired now, and she has like, the time for me, you know, to go through my little thoughts, but I do like to kind of pick apart. But what I crave, what I feel is missing a lot here is like that village feel, mm hmm. You know, and it’s, and it’s not like Ireland and Westport, it’s our society in 2025. You know, we’re very focused on our own lives, our own stuff, our own things. And it’s like, we kind of...