Leave the Synod, Take the Cannoli

The Catholic Thing

But first a note: Be sure to tune in tomorrow night - Thursday, October 31st at 8 PM Eastern - to EWTN for a new episode of the Papal Posse - and the last for Synod Central - on 'The World Over.' TCT Editor-in-Chief Robert Royal and contributor Fr. Gerald E. Murray will join host Raymond Arroyo to discuss the conclusion of the second Synod on Synodality and other developments in the Universal Church. Check your local listings for the channel in your area. Shows are usually available shortly after first airing on the EWTN YouTube channel.
Now for todays column...
I suppose I would have been comforted by Pope Francis's comment that "the Church is not a democracy" and that the Synod is not a "parliament" if it weren't for the fact that so many people intent on reversing the Church's teaching on women's ordination and homosexuality have been so hard at work lobbying members of the synod for their causes.
Thus, although I welcome "dialogue" from all quarters, I am slightly puzzled by the headline: "Outreach hosts LGBTQ Catholic dialogue for Synod delegates in Rome."
So this group has a big conference on LGBTQ issues right while the Synod is meeting? That's convenient timing.
And then they invite all the synod delegates to attend? Was there a big conference on "The History and Value of the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy" across town to which the synod delegates were also invited? Maybe next time, since "synodality" is now supposed to be our new way of "being Church," and if the lobbyists don't get what they want this time, we know they'll keep synod-ing (synodalizing?) in some way or other until they do.
Then we could have the odd pleasure of watching how competing lobbying groups work the crowd. Which lobby group offers food catered by which restaurant? If the LGBTQ conference is offering Swedish meatballs and a veggie platter, but the Extraordinary Form people are offering cannoli, espresso, and a performance of Bach's St. Matthew's Passion, well, I'm no fan of that Mass, but they have me at "cannoli."
The "Toward Vatican III" conference at the Jesuit House could be up against the "Remembering the Encyclicals of John Paul II" at the Angelicum. And then the next day, the "Women Priests in the Church" conference could be up against the "Orthodox Defenses of the Creed" sponsored by Opus Dei.
So instead of sitting in that boring assembly hall staring at those iPads at each seat (What are they doing? Surfing the web? I hope they're reading The Catholic Thing!), our faithful synod delegates could spend their free time scurrying between competing conferences, each trying to change the delegates' minds about what they thought the Holy Spirit was calling the Church to before they got to Rome.
"You seem a little unsure, but I'm sure you know deep down that simply everyone is in favor of gay marriage, women priests, and legitimating adulterous affairs. How about another cocktail?"
You might mistakenly conclude from what I've said that I want to be one of those synod delegates. Nothing could be further from the truth. I participated in one of those "listening sessions" for theologians, and it was excruciating. There was no "dialogue." Each participant had two minutes to voice complaints, then we reported those comments to the larger group.
As the group secretary, I tried to scrupulously record every suggestion and complaint, but I still got accused of being "patriarchal" by one of the elderly female participants. So no, I'm not one of those tough Catholics who are up for being thrown to the lions, facing gladiators, or participating in another synod session.
Besides, I have a job, like everyone else I know. It makes me wonder how these people get a month off from work to go to Rome to sit around surfing the web between running off to conferences on LGBTQ issues. I have the privilege of teaching Catholic theology to wonderful students. Why would I give that up to go sit in some month-long business meeting? I'm fit-to-be-tied after five m...