67. Skills to steer clear of group thinking and cope with social rejection

PLAYING-IT-SAFE

• Have you ever played-it-safe by keeping your opinions to yourself?
• When was the last time you felt afraid of social rejection that you did not say what you really thought about a topic in fear of rocking the boat?
• How often do you play-it-safe by placating and going along with others' opinions so you are liked by others?

Group thinking, agreeing quickly with others, avoiding sharing our opinions, or making sure we don’t rock the boat are the many ways in which we play-it-safe when dealing with fears of rejection, not being liked, or not belonging in a group. But how do those playing-it-safe moves work in our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves? When is it effective to minimize interpersonal conflict, and when is it not? How and when do we examine our beliefs about how things should be? How do we avoid cognitive rigidity?

In this conversation with Dr. Todd Kashdan, Ph.D., he shares his research on persuasion, healthy dissentment, group thinking, and skills to handle conflict that go beyond assertiveness training.

Key Takeaways:

• How group thinking leads us to “underseen” or “overseen” social situations or any other matters
• What is healthy resentment
• Skills to handle cognitive rigidity
• The basics of the science of persuasion
• How intolerance of uncertainty plays a role in our thinking
• Why people in disadvantage still support leaders that don’t favor them
• The case of Evo Morales, the former president of Bolivia, and how group thinking created a different image of his government

(*) Show notes and resources of this episode

(*) Receive free weekly science-based, compassionate, and actionable skills to stop ineffective playing-it-safe

(*) Figure out your playing-it-safe profile in 5 minutes and identify the key thinking strategies that keep you living in your head

(*) Learn ACT skills for anxious achievers by taking Dr. Z. ACT courses

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