Parent Wounds: Healing Our Hearts Even in Crisis

On Health

In the midst of the chaos that seems to be almost a constant in the world, it's easy to forget that individual lives and losses are still happening every day and can be deeply affecting us or those around us, as can family mental health issues.

Sometimes those bigger global issues give us perspective, take us out of our own worries, and that can feel actually broadening and helpful and can put our lives into a perspective that brings some ease or inner peace even. Not that we're taking comfort in someone else's misery or suffering, but that there's a reminder that suffering is bigger than us and we're not alone, and that there are also major trials happening that sometimes may be even scarier in the moment than our own.

But often it's a compounding weight, and then we might also feel embarrassed for having our own feelings when there are these very big things happening. So much so that we turn inward, ashamed to share our more personal troubles for fear of seeming small or selfish, and that can create cognitive dissonance or a retreat into self that can be part of depression or create social anxiety.

In this episode I explore, through my own recent loss, a specific kind of despair and trauma that affects the lives of so many: the loss of a parent through one or another form of abandonment due to our parents going through a difficult and permanently dividing divorce, though illness, including mental health challenges, or for other reasons.

I explore:

• What my own experience of recent loss was and what it brought up for me
• The impact of an abandonment on a young person, including potentially leading to complex attachment issues at various stages in our lives
• How paternal abandonment can put pressures on the remaining parent, usually the mother, possibly leading to mother-daughter wounds
• The impact of an abandoning parent on one’s self-concept, economic beliefs, and sense of belonging in the world
• How we are really always still children at whatever age a parent abandons one
• How I’ve been processing my loss through somatic work, meditation, and journaling
• And more

Please join me for a very personal journey today, that may have specific meaning for you as we enter the holiday season. I do talk about loss, grief, and trauma, so I invite you to listen when you have the space to feel anything that might come up for you.

And thank you for honoring my vulnerability in what I share. It’s a gift to have you on this journey with me.

Please share the love by sending this to someone in your life who could benefit from the kinds of things we talk about in this space. Make sure to follow me on Instagram @dr.avivaromm to join the conversation.

Looking for supplements for yourself and your family, including some of those I talk about in episodes? You can find those - and your 15% discount on every order here: avivaromm.com/supplements