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The Catholic Midlife

Karen and Curtis Herbert

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Join Curtis and Karen Herbert of The Catholic Midlife as they address the challenges and joys of midlife from a uniquely Catholic perspective. Grow deeper into this season of life with wisdom from theology, scripture, positive psychology and neuroscience, and proven coaching and leadership skills. Let’s spark a midlife renewal and create a firm foundation for the second half of life!
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Raise your hand if you've ever... Placed your worth in praise, perfection, or productivity? Felt like God was near, but couldn't figure out what he was asking you to do. Questioned why if you're doing God's will, your vocation seems SO stinking hard. Dropped everything to help out a coworker, only to come home paralyzed by decision fatigue because you didn't touch your own to-do list. My friend, you are in good company! If you are a fellow book buying, course-taking, love to do all-of-the-th ...
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Send us a text In this pivotal episode, Kylie Hein hosts Karen Herbert, a Catholic coach, teacher, and public speaker, to explore the critical topic of self-compassion for high-achieving Catholic women. Balancing personal, professional, and spiritual lives often brings an overwhelming amount of self-criticism. Karen offers valuable insights drawn f…
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HI! It’s Curtis and Karen and we are super intrigued by philosopher-neuroscientist -doctor-psychiatrist Iain McGilchrist and his research on the connections between the right and left hemispheres of the brain. Sounds abstract, right? Well. . not entirely. It turns out, how these hemispheres interact influences culture, religion, human society, work…
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Send us a text This episode is for all of the women who often find themselves in patterns of striving for praise, perfection, and self-reliance. Host, Kylie Hein, is joined by Airriaunte Mercer who shares her powerful conversion story, detailing her spiritual journey from a Pentecostal charismatic background through reformed Presbyterian beliefs, a…
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Obstacles come in lots of different shapes and sizes. And flavors and colors and… you get the idea. Sometimes they are even stowaways in our minds. Limiting beliefs are like that. These are usually semi-conscious assumptions. Listen to yourself talk! There’s some language you use that might point the way to spotting your favorite limiting beliefs. …
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Send us a text Do you have relationships where one of you always seems to be pushing the other's internal buttons? In this episode, we talking about all of the factors that come into play when we are in relationship with other people. The things that irk, that things that hurt, and the things that tell us it is time to let go! Host Kylie Hein is jo…
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We’ve been talking about goals this podcast season. Now what comes with every goal? Hmmm. Yes! Obstacles! Hooray for obstacles. These are the change-makers and change-markers for your goals. We are always so surprised when our plans run into an obstacle. Yet that’s what happens every time. Let’s talk about EMBRACING obstacles. Yep. Embrace the goal…
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What would you discover by modeling the behavior of people who are very successful in the same way that you want to be successful? You would find many philosophies, approaches, habits, opinions, and ways of being. Yet you would find some things that they all had in common. One key thing is that they all had great mindsets in the areas of life where…
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This week Karen and Curtis discuss how the Four Requirements for Change might apply in real life. We mostly talk about how it applies to physical health because it’s full of concrete details that make it easy to see how they work. Please send us your comments, we are always interested to hear your thoughts! Contact Info Text us: The Catholic Midlif…
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Send us a text Do you ever feel like you are crushing it at work life, motherhood, and being an incredible wife on day, and then completely letting every plate come crashing to the ground the next… and the next, and the next.. only to reset and then do it all over again? Do you ever wonder why that happens or how you can get out of that cycle? In t…
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Do you want to change how you show up in a major area of life like spirituality, family, personal growth, or physical health? Or would it be better to simply keep running life like an obstacle course, jumping, ducking, and more or less weaving around the problems until you get to the end? There are FOUR requirements for any kind or REAL change in y…
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Send us a text What does it mean to be a woman? In today’s society, you may get various answers to this question. In this episode I am joined by wife, mother, and author, Stacy Halbach. Stacy depicts ... how we can better understand the beauty of our femininity as goal oriented and high-achieving women how can we lean on our femininity to help us l…
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Your unconscious mind is always listening to what you have to say and will work to make things turn out the way you say. Do you like achievement? Accomplishing things? Improving? Then using positivity in your language is a big help for you! LISTEN to yourself this week. You might be surprised by what you hear. We discuss the possibilities and some …
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Send us a text When I’ve asked women in the past about what is holding them back from pursuing the thing that they are convicted God is calling them to, money is often a top response. I hear things like, "There is such a lack of certainty about the exact plan…I would need to quit my full time job with a dependable salary to make it work and I have …
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Send us a text Why is it that as vastly skilled, high-achieving women, we doubt ourselves SO much… Perhaps you can relate to feeling like the most confident women in the room one minute and the most insecure the next. In this episode, my guest is going to share about her own confidence struggle, and how she continues to work through it with the hel…
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What have we been talking about? The last several episodes have been about the Disciplines of a master. We discuss why these are important, give examples from our own lives, and do some wrapping-up of the whole discipline topic. You could pick one and spend a week working with it, how cool could that be?? Contact Info Text us: The Catholic Midlife …
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Send us a text Do you struggle with putting yourself in uncomfortable circumstances, even when you know they are necessary? Maybe you feel like you will be judged, you'll hinder your credibility if you don't have the right answer, or you'll look "stupid." A few years back when I was still working in the classroom, I was asked to present to our dioc…
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We can be tempted to think of religion as a personal project of seeking holiness. That’s our age of individualism breaking everything down to me: my role, my task, my burden, my initiative. In this age of individualism and atomization, we can easily forget the importance of seeking connection with other people, nature, and our own inner lights. Yet…
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Send us a text Have you ever thought to yourself, “Something must be wrong with me?” Everyone else seems to have their life figured out. They know how to balance work and marriage and kids and prayer and exercise, and I’m over here like a dumpster fire on rollerblades just trying not to light everyone else on fire! If so, you are in good company! B…
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Confidence energy. When you remove fears that are useless and put some trust into the process (remember that episode?), confidence energy can start to show up. Decide to choose it. It’s about the power you have to create the change - you believe that YOU have the power to create the change. It’s the CRUCIAL difference. It does not look at the probl…
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Send us a text Did you know that according to the Mayo Clinic, letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to: Healthier relationships. Improved mental health. Less anxiety, stress and hostility. Fewer symptoms of depression. Lower blood pressure. A stronger immune system. Improved h…
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Fear is natural. It's a natural emotion. [00:14:10] Why, then, do we have this emphasis on fearlessness? There are things that naturally come up in life that are always going to give rise to fear. And In those situations, probably what's needed is courage. The courage to act in the face of feeling fear and doing the right thing. Fearlessness is dif…
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Send us a text We know from scripture and the way that Jesus taught that stories make an impact. They just hit in a different way than let’s say, reading a timeline or science report. And yet, I have a feeling that at some point or another, you’ve doubted the significance of your own story; the worthiness of your own voice. In this episode professi…
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God made you. So live your life. It’s YOUR job. If you are living a version of your life only because it’s the version that someone else thinks is what you should do, you will feel it in your bones. It will sap your power, meaning that sense of agency that creates energy to live your life. Authenticity looks like Acting from your core; doing/saying…
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Send us a text There is a difference between a spiritual battle and a natural battle. Yet, sometimes, it's difficult to distinguish the difference because they both can take an emotional toll. When you don’t feel well, it can be tough to pray. When you go the people you're supposed to be able to trust and you can’t find answers, you may start to de…
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So often, we're looking ahead. We're looking to the future. We're waiting until something happens or until we get to the next place, or to the next milestone. Or we're worried and anxious about what might happen in the future. That’s living in the future and not living in the present where we're meant to be. Our power is in the present and it is wh…
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Send us a text Have you ever had a missed opportunity where you wanted to say the right thing at the right time in the right moment, but you utterly failed? Doing what is good and right and holy not just on a whim, but again and again isn't a pipe dream, but is a reality we can strive for. In this episode I am joined by Lay Dominican, Rose Folsom. …
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We often think we are making choices, but really it’s our past, our worries and fears, our habits, our trigger behaviors, or our doubts that are making the choices for us. We are hijacked by our past without us even realizing it. Because when we make choices, we are always filtering them through our past experiences. What we learn from those experi…
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Send us a text Do you ever wonder why sometimes you can work at a job and feel completely burnout one day and completely energized the next? In this episode my guest, Karyn Macfarlane is going to give you some new language to describe and understand how you can find more energy throughout the day in your work and in your home. Karyn, a coach and th…
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Awareness is a discipline, meaning a kind of excellence that you could cultivate, that shows up in a few different contexts. Awareness is the ability to know “what is”. It’s the ability to discern what’s actually happening from your mind’s interpretation of what’s happening. In a sense, it means being present versus seeing a situation from the past…
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Send us a text Do you ever find yourself waiting for a change that will make things easy again? Do you keep thinking, if I can just make it through the weekend, things will slow down. If my husband would just make this one little change, I would feel like I could breathe again? If the joy in your work or home seems to have dissipated and your praye…
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Serene acceptance is radical acceptance. It sets the stage for our most powerful action and divine cooperation. There’s nothing passive, woe-is-me, or giving up when we practice serene acceptance. It shifts us immediately to see what might be possible. What you are resisting about life? When you are busy rejecting, resenting, resisting, or glumly r…
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Send us a text Are you ready for practical tips to increase your productivity? Whether you call yourself a high-achiever, a procrastinator, or a perfectionist, these word hacks are for you! This week I am joined by Beth McGrain Tran, a Catholic wife, mom, life coach, speaker. Beth explains the concept of "masks", which are beliefs we hold about our…
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Our modern ideas about discipline are deeply impoverished relative to the days of the fathers of the church. When we think of discipline, we think about a general disciplining the troops, the principal dishing out punishment, or the need to persevere to complete a hard task. Yet these are only one part of discipline. Jesus invites us to be his disc…
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Send us a Text Message. Have you ever found yourself irritated by the quirks of your spouse? Are there days when you feel absolutely certain that they intentionally driving you bonkers? This week, I am delving into the complexities of marriage with special guests Jean and Colin MacKenzie. With over two decades of marriage under their belt, Jean, a …
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Boy! It’s hard to hope! The challenges of the present age overwhelm us, and we worry, we fear, we become discouraged and defeated. As Christians, we grasp onto the cosmic hope of Christ and struggle to make it our own. Hope itself is a contradiction, a stance in the midst of uncertainty, and a refusal to avoid the tension of being human. We strive …
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Send us a text “I’ll never be able to do that.” “Maybe I’m just not cut out for this.” “Everything comes so easy for her and I’m over here like a hot mess on fire. Sometime these thoughts are genuine curiosity and other times, we’re subconsciously putting ourselves down for not doing something as well as someone else. That’s right friends, in this …
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Our hope is too small. Scripture reveals a hope that embraces all of creation cosmically reordered and recreated as an interlocking of a new heaven and new earth. We are so individualistic, so atomized in our culture, that we can hardly even understand what we read in the New Testament when it comes to hope. Remember Romans 8 where all of creation …
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Send us a text This episode was made with love and prayer for all of my dear chronic people pleasers and over-doers in mind! Do you find yourself saying “yes” before it’s even hit your system what you’ve agreed to do? Sometimes, we say yes out of obligation, sometimes because we don’t want to feel the discomfort of refusing someone, and sometimes, …
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“I’m gonna answer the call. I am willing to use my gifts. I am going to choose my greater potential.” Magnanimity is the greatness of the heart. It is fundamentally conceived in terms of vocation and stewardship: it is a response to God’s call, and willingness to use his gifts. As Aquinas says: “Magnanimity makes us deem ourselves worthy of great t…
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Send us a text In 2018 Andrea’s whole world came crashing down around her as she discovered that her husband Austin would need a miracle to survive. Austin was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer, leaving Andrea to not only care for him, but her children as well. Now, 75 infusions and 9 surgeries later, Andrea and her husband are changing the liv…
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Gratitude kicks off a cycle of positivity in your relationships because it engenders the same response from other people. We all need to remind ourselves of the good things we have because our lovely brains have a big negativity bias that will take over unless we actively resist negativity. Easter is a season to embrace new hope, and to look at the…
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Send us a text Imagine you’ve been actively involved in your parish community for years and has been offered the opportunity to take on a significant leadership role within the Church. At the same time, you’ve also been presented with a career opportunity in your field of expertise that would allow you to make a substantial impact professionally an…
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You weeded the garden in Lent. Now it’s time to plant some seedlings. Try out something new. Reconnect with your experience of awe to open your heart up to something new. God always has something new for you. Something just for you. You were busy cleaning your house in Lent. Now the Holy Spirit is here and waiting to engage you in new ways. Awe is …
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Send us a Text Message. This week I am joined by the brilliant, Jessica Castillo. In this episode she is going to walk us through what it means to truly be living out "peak performance." For Jessica, living as an excelling Catholic isn't just about physical or mental health, but the all encompassing aspects of our body and soul together. She is goi…
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When we read the Lord’s Prayer with the understanding that it’s a prayer for the Kingdom of God now and forever, we can grasp how “forgive us our debts” is a reflection on how the Kingdom of God operates. It’s a kingdom where forgiveness is offered and received. We are all reconciled with God and each other. That’s why we are the people of peace: w…
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Send us a text Are you the type of person who finds themself leaning on a shovel and praying for a hole? As in, you pray fervently for what you desire, but aren't sure about the work required to achieve it. Or, are you perhaps, the woman who's already dug a multitude of holes and you're screaming out to God wondering how many are left before He sen…
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Teach us, Lord, how to pray. And we got this remarkable prayer that’s so very short. How can it be called a summary of the Gospels? The key is to understand how to pray it with the end in mind. Remember that life tip that says “Begin with the End in Mind”? When we keep the end in mind, then the petitions make more sense. “Hallowed be Thy name” can …
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Send us a text In this episode, host Kylie Hein invites you to not shy away from doing the hard thing as you approach the last two weeks of Lent. Drawing from personal anecdotes and lessons learned from her father and St. Joseph, Kylie explains life lessons that we can all benefit from as continue to grow in virtue. 1. Obedience to the will of God …
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The Lord’s Prayer is the most perfect Christian prayer, and in this episode, we discuss creating the right mindset for this beautiful prayer. Watch out! We’ll be tackling big scary things like ‘eschatology’, ‘eschatological dualism’, and ‘2-stage eschatology’–but only to find out they’re not so scary after all. We don’t know exactly what God’s futu…
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Send us a text Do you loathe taking the time to sit and read your bible? Does scripture seem like an irrelevant and foreign language that simply isn’t applicable to our time? Or, do you love the word of God, but you aren’t quite sure where to start or how to fit it into your day? In this episode, host Kylie Hein, is joined by Julia Strukely. Julia …
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