Ep. 179: Why Does Everything Fall on You? Maybe You’re the Default Parent

The Intentional Midlife Mom Podcast | Simple, Practical Life, Home & Mindset Solutions for Moms Over 40

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You've seen the memes. You've heard the term. Maybe you've even laughed at the jokes—the ones about being the family's human search engine, the walking calendar, the keeper of all knowledge about where the permission slips are, what size shoes everyone wears, and who has which food allergies.

But maybe today is the first time you realize—it's you.

You are the default parent.

You're the one who remembers the dentist appointments and coordinates the rides. You fill the fridge, sign the forms, and keep everything moving. You track the birthday parties, the project due dates, the medication schedules. You know which kid needs encouragement and which one needs space. You're the one everyone asks, even when someone else is standing right there.

You didn't pick this role. You didn't apply for it. You just couldn't let it all fall apart.

And here's what nobody tells you: that's not weakness. That's not you being a control freak. That's not you failing to delegate properly. That's you being deeply capable in a world that takes your capability for granted.

This episode isn't about blaming anyone else—or telling you for the hundredth time to delegate more. It's about helping you see who you are, without shame. To recognize the value you bring. And to stop gaslighting your own exhaustion.

Because you are exhausted, aren't you? Not in a "I need a vacation" way—though you probably do. But in a bone-deep, soul-tired way that doesn't get fixed with a weekend at the beach. It's the kind of tired that comes from being the one who holds it all together, all the time, without anyone really noticing until something doesn't get done.

Today we're flipping the default parent narrative. Not from default to disappeared. Not from responsible to reckless. But from default to empowered. You'll walk away understanding your own strength, recognizing where you need support, and owning your role without letting it erase you.

Let's dig in.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Daily Overwhelm Fix Kit
• The Intentional Mom Planning System

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Kapitel

1. The Role of the Default Parent (00:00:00)

2. Understanding Family Dynamics and Responsibilities (00:00:44)

3. Understanding Default Parenting (00:01:55)

4. Empowerment and Recognition (00:09:52)

5. Navigating Life Transitions (00:17:01)