Episode #80: Traver Boehm on Killing The Nice Guy

The Discomfort Practice

In this episode, I am super excited to welcome back, Traver Boehm. This is his second time in this podcast - and that is because he is awesome (which you will discover when you listen). Traver founded the UNcivilized men’s movement, and is inspiring millions of men around the world to shift their experience of masculinity by combining the primal masculine with the divine masculine, combining strength and consciousness.

He's the author of the books, Today I Rise, and ManUNcivilized. UNcivilized is about harnessing the inherent primal power and leadership of men and coupling it with the deeply conscious divine masculine. Traver is a specimen of ‘classic masculinity,’ as a former CrossFit gym owner and an MMA fighter, but he's also a licensed acupuncturist who does yoga and meditates. So I’d say he’s a balanced man.

Our conversation is largely unscripted and it took us to uncomfortable yet beautiful and timely topics. Traver talks about the need for people, especially men, to find connection and shares insights on how men can find healing and support, which is not something society says they usually get to have access to. We talk about one of his focus topics - what “The Nice Guy” looks like and why “Killing the Nice Guy” is important.

Curious? Good. Join us in this exciting, uncomfortable, and high-value conversation. I hope it ignites a fire within to step into your true self and let it ripple out to be part of the healing this world needs. Send it to men you know and keep the conversation going.

Key Points Discussed:

• Traver’s recent experience in Costa Rica and other incidents that made him realize how fragile life can be and that people need help, especially with mental health (02:52)
• Killing the nice guy (11:16)
• The need for men to reach for connection under challenging times (14:30)
• Taking out the things that stop you from being magical and powerful (16:39)
• What to do to help people, especially men, who are still on track to break themselves (21:42)
• People need time and a chance to repair the trauma brought by the recent pandemic (27:55)
• Why do people not feel like they don’t have permission to change the things that are quite self-destructive(30:28)
• How can men be with the discomfort to want to change, process it, and where they go from there (33:03)
• How men can find that safe support (38:46)
• Getting back to what’s real (43:21)
• The Nice Guy (45:35)
• The covert contracts (51:21)
• Why kill the Nice Guy (55:52)
• Traver’s discomfort running buddies (1:03:35)
• Imagine how it would feel to have people around to support you on a shitty day (1:08:20)
• Connection is even more valuable right now (1:10:37)
• Believe (1:13:01)

Resources Mentioned:

• Man UNcivilized
• Today I Rise by Traver Boehm
• Man UNcivilized by Traver Boehm
• The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

Connect with Traver:

• Traver’s website
• Traver on Instagram
• Traver on YouTube

Connect with Betsy:

• Betsy on Instagram
• Betsy on Twitter
• Betsy on Linkedin

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