3 Steps To Forgiving Others

Practical Stoicism

In today's episode, I delve into the profound theme of Forgiveness within the framework of Stoicism, a topic that resonates deeply with both my personal experiences and the Stoic principles I strive to embody. I commence with a note of gratitude towards new Patrons – Dan Brann, Jenny Kay, and Jay – whose support is instrumental in dedicating myself fully to this podcast. For those contemplating joining our Patreon, it offers an ad-free listening experience, exclusive articles, discussions with special guests, and a vibrant private Discord community.

The essence of today's discourse on Forgiveness is drawn from a personal narrative – my journey of forgiving my mother, a path marked by decades of hurt, distance, and ultimately, reconciliation. This story illustrates not just a personal struggle but encapsulates the Stoic view on external events and our control over them. My childhood, marred by broken promises and absent visitations, laid the groundwork for years of resentment towards my mother. However, the Stoic practice of accepting things beyond our control and focusing on our reactions played a pivotal role in navigating this tumultuous relationship.

Forgiveness, from a Stoic perspective, is intricately tied to the understanding and acceptance of human imperfection, including our own. It is not merely about absolving others but recognizing the limitations within which everyone operates. This realization does not come swiftly or easily; it is a gradual process of internalizing and genuinely believing in the fallibility of all humans, including those who might have wronged us.

The episode breaks down Forgiveness into three actionable steps rooted in Stoic philosophy:

1. Acknowledging our lack of control over others' actions and their inherent imperfections.
2. Internalizing this understanding to a degree where it informs our belief system and reactions.
3. Adjusting our expectations to align with the reality of human imperfection, thereby reducing the likelihood of disappointment.

This framework for Forgiveness, though not explicitly outlined in Stoic texts, draws inspiration from Stoic principles, particularly the reflections of Marcus Aurelius on self-awareness and mutual human fallibility.

In conclusion, Forgiveness, as discussed in this episode, transcends the personal and delves into the philosophical, offering a Stoic approach to dealing with one of the most challenging aspects of human relationships. It's a reminder of the power of acceptance, the importance of adjusting our expectations, and the virtue of empathy towards ourselves and others.

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