Autistic Spoken Word: Every Clock Is a Handgun

#AutisticAF Out Loud

Full podcast with links to available poster artwork: https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/p/podcast-every-clock-is-a-handgun-2ee

Sensory-Friendly Discussion & Summary: https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/30720fb4-dab4-48b9-873f-90ec1ac03b88/audio

Transcript:

Autistic Spoken Word: Every Clock Is a Handgun Pointed at My Head

This spoken word on my autistic experience of time contains triggering topics. If you are sensitive to frank discussion of abuse, I created a sensory-friendly audio summary. Link in description (https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/30720fb4-dab4-48b9-873f-90ec1ac03b88/audio) Every clock is a handgun pointed at my head THREE Every clock is a handgun pointed at my head Every tick, tick… fucking tick Tolling Fear, Doom… dread Click. Slide. Cock… click. Every night a mantra echoes through my head TV static… a crazy-making hum Singing Dream, Drempt… dead… Not done. Not done. Not done… undone. 10, 9, 8… Dread 7, 6, 5… Fear 4, 3, 2… BEEP. Shoot the moon… or the country next door Countdown. Deadline. Bow down… dead. Bound behind doors, bound in my head Pace, paces, pacing… paced Every BEEP. Of the phone. Stops… my heart. . . . I crash out with a scream for escape TWO Woods Deep woods Deepest woods My ears fly from bird song to bird song. A raptor circles then spirals Crossing lines now dead Wind steals my breath Taking words never said This skin bag of atmosphere Breathes new air When the sun rises First it is cool Then it gets warm The day passes Clouds above my head. Shaped by wind Outside my body The same wind Inside my body The same wind Yet… ONE 10, 9, 8… Dread 7, 6, 5… Fear 4, 3, 2… BEEP. Shoot the moon… or the country next door Countdown. Deadline. Bow down… dead. Every clock is a handgun pointed at my head ZERO

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