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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
Each week this podcast talks about some aspect of personal relationships. Phil and Maude believe that conflict-free relationships are possible for everyone, and talk about how they achieve that between them.
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: Phil shared a thought last night: “Why get cross with anyone? You will only have to fix it later. It’s like knocking over a vase of flowers because you don’t like the arrangement. You’ll just have to mop up … Embracing Acceptance: How to Let Go of Annoyances in Relationships Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: In these challenging and turbulent times, it is important to fill your moments with presence; to be calmly, lovingly present. One of the best ways to do that is through your relationships. Stay connected; put extra attention and effort … Rely on Relationships to Stay Sane in an Insane World Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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PHIL: We were talking about the role of acknowledgment in relationships. At basis, it’s a recognition that the other person exists. You are saying “I see you”, which is incredibly affirming. It’s more than saying “Oh, there you are”; it’s … Why Acknowledgment is Like a Magic Charm for Relationships Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Here’s a conversation we had that illustrates how you can connect without a negative charge on a topic that could be loaded. PHIL: I think this might be the perfect time to talk about something that happened a few days … How to Let Conflicts Go Until You Can Talk Without Charge Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: Last week, Phil had a big birthday. I had been thinking of how to celebrate him for many months, and had made numerous suggestions to him for grandiose celebrations, parties and trips. He never responded with the least enthusiasm … Pay Attention – It’s How to Best Support Each Other Read More »…
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PHIL: It may seem obvious; of course you talk to your partner. But lots of conversations are about the shopping or politics or how bad the traffic was, while there can be a whole interior monologue going on that never … Just Talk to Each Other – It’s That Simple Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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PHIL: I had an imaginary conversation in my head: “Tell the truth; it’s so much easier than lying.” “But people would say mean, nasty, hurtful things!” “Oh, just tell the truth, but not in a mean, nasty, hurtful way. Instead, … The Importance of Sharing Your Truth in Relationships Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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PHIL: We have a peaceful relationship. We don’t quarrel, attack each other or act passive-aggressively. Magic, huh? We do this through trust, acceptance and choosing to live peacefully. Our values are aligned so we can always find a point of … Let’s Create Peace in the World, One Relationship at a Time Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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PHIL: A few days ago, I had the sense that I wasn’t giving you enough attention; that I was wrapped up in myself and my thoughts and resented being disturbed and intruded on. I thought that that’s not a very … A True Connection Between People Brings Peace and Joy Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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When you practice fairness in your relationships, it is transforming. It is a quiet yet powerful type of assurance that acknowledges without words that you are always on the same side, wishing the best for each other, and knowing that it is mutual. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: We wrote a post last week about dealing with strong negative or difficult reactions to the decisions, actions and behaviors of others, most particularly those with whom you have deep relationships. We suggested turning inside and looking at your … How to Avoid Reacting With Blame and Anger in Your Relationships Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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This week several things happened that illustrate an important aspect of experiencing peace within relationships. MAUDE: My older son and his wife just purchased a condo in Mammoth. They decided to celebrate that with the family and invited us all … How to Replace Blame With Honesty in Your Relationships Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Hi, Phil and Maude here. We had a conversation the other evening about a different way to respond to the variance between each of us. We like, recorded it on a phone and, um, kind of cleaned it up a … A New Way to Look at Differences in Relationships Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: One of the many things that happened this week was a visit from a very dear friend, who stayed with us for over a week. This visit was profound, yet simple and easy at the same time. It gave … How It’s Possible to Practice Acceptance in Your Relationships Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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PHIL: We had a couple of heart-to-heart conversations this week; one about desires on my part, and one about the desires of Maude. I don’t want to describe them because they both involved other people, and the point of mentioning … How to Remove Tension and Find Peace in Your Relationships Read More »…
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PHIL: I want to jam on the idea that all people are different. No one is exactly like anyone else. So in your relationships, especially the close ones, you’re going to run into differences. They’re inevitable. The fact that the … How to Embrace Differences, Not Trip Over Them Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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MAUDE: In our post last week, we wrote about the struggles we have all been going through in the tense situation before this country’s election, the raging wars in the world, climate change, and the overall uncertainty and anxiety caused … It’s Important to Know You Can Choose Peaceful Relationships Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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We share an inner peace that is beyond any of the effects of the changing world we live in. This path of peace never wavers and serves to strengthen our individual struggles. Find and create a Sacred Space for yourself. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Speaking directly doesn’t happen naturally because we all create a persona for the outside world. It’s easy to take that feeling into a relationship, but here’s why that is a bad idea: it’s a limitation on feeling our full self; we cannot sit comfortably at the center of our being. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Today is our wedding anniversary and it brought us to reflect on what we have learned about the potentials of all relationships from the experience of ours. Here are our musings on just that for our blog this week. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Yesterday was The International Day of Peace. It’s a great time to think of what you are doing within your own life to make peace a living reality. Here’s an example of one of our favorite projects: I Declare World … Peace in a Relationship—How Can it Change the World? Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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One of the steps to a peaceful relationship is honesty. When you share honestly with another, you set aside fears and defenses. You can share a bit and when you are accepted and respected, when you feel seen and heard, you dare to open a bit more. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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One of the signs of a peaceful relationship is when the element of service to the other person is a core value for that relationship. Learning what this is takes paying attention to the other person, and being open to listen and hear what they might need or want for support. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Every relationship feels entirely different when you are truly present in it. This difference can be recognized by both parties, whether consciously or unconsciously. When you have the experience of each person being present, many of the fears that people bring to relationships dissolve. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The most important element to creating and maintaining peaceful relationships is that both people share peace as a central Core Value. This is not having thoughts of peace in some theoretical sense; it is experiencing peace as a visceral reality. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Most relationships will blossom when they have acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgment as an underpinning. In any relationship, it is important to be accepted for who we are, to be appreciated for who we are, and to be acknowledged for who we are. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The extent to which you have a feeling of support in your relationships will determine your sense of calm, serenity and peace. It consists of both giving and receiving. There is joy in this sense of mutual support. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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All too often, people become so used to the contact and connection in their relationships that they start to take them for granted. You stop really noticing the experience of that connection; how it makes you feel, why you treasure it, why it’s so important. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Watch for the dangers we all face every day of succumbing to doubt, loss of hope, or just plain tiredness. Turn to your relationships. Listen to the quiet and strength of hope you can find within yourself and each other. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Speaking your position that has two benefits. The fact of putting it into words makes it much clearer, and the more specific the words are the clearer you can be. And having spoken it, you can start to move past it. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Peaceful relationships can come down to whether or not you speak with respect, love and kindness in your tone of voice and basic attitude, as this kind of communication creates an environment of calm, openness and comfort. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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You know the feeling of being at odds with another person? Don't go there in the first place, and if you're in there, get out. Don’t just look at what the other person is doing; look at what you are doing, too. Focus on finding a resolution that works for both of you. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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We have a direct experience of a peaceful relationship, we’ve had it since our early days, and it has remained completely consistent. It is so different from our previous relationships that we feel compelled to write about it. Our message is that it exists, therefore it is possible. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Trust comes from openness and sharing, being interested in who the other person is, interacting without being defensive, wishing the best possible outcome for each other, and coming from love, not fear. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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When you are in a conflict, stop, center yourself, breathe, and ask yourself what is important here. This pulls you into the present and gives you the opportunity to stop being reactive, and instead, choose a better way to respond. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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It is a common belief that conflicts are inevitable even in the most loving of relationships, but when the underlying needs are examined, it is nearly always possible to find a mutual solution. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The sense of loving connection between two people is the heart of every relationship. It is important to take the time to feel and recognize the connection, and to develop the sense of what makes each one precious and unique in its own way. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Why aren’t people totally honest with each other? Maybe they think it will cause strife in the relationship. But strife isn’t the only reason for not being honest; shame is, too. There is something you are uncomfortable sharing, but you need to regard honesty as more important than shame. Read more ›…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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When you are in the present with another person, it is a palpable experience. You can strongly feel when someone is actually there with you, just as you can feel when they are not. Share your inner life with the other person for the best possible relationship. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The importance of letting people know you see and appreciate them carries into all encounters. You can make a person’s day just by saying thank you or smiling at them. It doesn’t take much effort and makes a world of difference. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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The more you have the experience of peace, the living experience of it, the more you will be attracted to it. It is such an exquisite sensation that it’s very attractive. The more you experience it, the more you know the path to get to that place. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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We show respect by the way we treat each other: by our tone of voice, our willingness to listen, to accept the inevitable differences of personality and behavior. We show it by our love and our kindness; by the empathy we feel and the warmth, safety and comfort we give. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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One of the things that often causes misunderstandings in relationships is perceived slights. These are small things, but if you are not communicating openly and honestly, these presumed slights may slowly turn into a mountain of accumulated wrongdoings. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How to Deal With Decisions and Disagreements in Your Relationship
14:12
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14:12There are multiple ways to solve a problem. Once you share the same values with someone, you can deal with decisions and disagreements without generating rancor, and by exploring, you can find a solution that works for both of you. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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A close relationship is fundamentally different from others as it is built upon openness and honesty, both in sharing and accepting. This creates trust, which allows you to be more open, which creates more trust, and so on. When you are not actively creating conflict, you can actively create peace. Read more ›…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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How To Deal With Differences In Your Relationships
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13:36For an enrichment of your relationships and a more joyous way of being together, ask yourself, “What stops me from embracing differences?” “Why am I rejecting or trying to modify what seems different?” and “What will it take for me to move into trust and acceptance?” Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Understanding the quality of uniqueness holds a key for peaceful relating. There is only one of each person. That means that each of you has contributions and insights and ways of being to offer that can only come from you, and the same for each other person. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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Why Are Core Values Important in All Your Relationships?
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10:04Your core values affect everything that you do and decide, including how you feel and respond to other people. Having matching or complementary core values with another person is necessary for a peaceful relationship. Read more ›Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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For the last few weeks, we have been writing about subtle aspects of peaceful relationships. It is now time to describe the five principles for creating peaceful relationships, of which these subtle aspects are a part. These are: Knowing and … The Five Fundamentals of Peaceful Relationships Read More »…
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Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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PHIL: I suggested that we write about the sense of equality between us, but Maude said that she sees equality as a measuring word, a counting up of who has done what, so she doesn’t relate to it, and it’s … How to Create Peaceful Relationships by Balancing Your Differences Read More »Von Phil and Maude on Successful Relationships
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