289 How to Navigate Gender Identity Issues with Faith and Love

Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast

Episode Summary:

In this episode, author, speaker, and mother, Jodi Howe, shares the painful wounds she has gone through as she has parented a child with gender identity issues. She shares the wisdom that God has granted her in how to remain true to the gospel of Jesus Christ, but still love her daughter.

Quotables from the episode:

• Often God uses our most painful experiences to minister to others.
• The ultimate way to glorify the Lord is to turn our pain into power.
• My testimonies come from experience with anxiety, divorce, and having a transgender child. But He equips, He leads, He walks alongside us, and I’m at the point now where I’m speaking from a healed scar, not a wound.
• I’ve gone through years of learning, growing, messing up, and trying to stay close to my faith in Christ and love my daughter through this.
• The thorn in my flesh came about ten years ago when my daughter told me she doesn’t like the skin that she is in and wants to transition into a male.
• I firmly believe that God does not mistakes and that the gender you are born in is the gender you are to live in. But that doesn’t mean that our children and the culture they live in don’t feel lost in who they are.
• In the course of a decade, not much has changed in her decision, but what has changed is how I approach it as a mom who is adamantly and passionately in love with Jesus Christ and is adamantly and passionately in love with my child.
• The Lord has shown me that I need to be open to what an agape love looks like, not just the love a mother to a child, but His love as spelled out in First Corinthians.
• God has shown me such incredible growth in this process.
• Gender identity issues is not being born in the wrong skin. This is actual societal pressure, infused by the internet, put upon lonely hearts and minds that are struggling just to get by at the times when they are the most vulnerable and the affirmations by doctors, therapists, teachers and educators who say if you want to be a duck, and act like a duck, we’re going to help you be a duck.
• Satan, through society, is really putting a stronghold on those vulnerabilities. But the good news is, God is prevailing through it as I knew He would, in my life, in my family’s life, and in my child’s life.
• You grow in Christ as fast as you are intentional about growing.
• I have been intentional from the day I accepted Jesus into my heart that I was going to build a life and a foundation on who He is, on His foundation. I am going to build my life around Him.
• These children are told that if your parents won’t let you be who you want to be, you need to threaten suicide or even attempt it so they will get on your bandwagon of transitional change in your body.
• 90% of transgender men and women are coming from a traumatic circumstance.
• It’s crucial to thoroughly vet the mental health therapists you go to for therapy.
• We don’t have agree or like the choices of our children. But when God says “love the Lord with all your strength, heart and soul, and love thy neighbor,” when we appreciate how much he loved us to send Jesus to die for our sins, we don’t get to love haphazardly—it is a full love of acceptance.
• What it has shown me is that I can love her alongside the struggles and the choices she has made. It has softened my heart to not feel as much shame, to not feel as much resentment, to not worry what people think of me…when I go to bed at night, I only care what God thinks of me.
• I believe that our omniscient God is going to be able to weave this into something beautiful.
• I know the Lord would want me to have a relationship with my child no matter what. I adore my child, and she is going to see how I, her mother who loves the Lord, is going to honor her. So there is going to be a lot of pressure on me to keep my Godly heart in check, and I’m willing to do it for the sake of my child, and most importantly, to glorify the Lord.
• You can stay a beautiful believer in Jesus Christ, believe that the gospels are real, and you can still love your LBGT family member but you can’t do it without God.
• God will show you. He will equip you, He will provide for you, and He will comfort your heart when it’s at the lowest of lows. He will speak to you, and He will give you the words to say that will speak love.
• We need to go to God and ask Him how to navigate this world.
• The only hill to die on is the one that Jesus tells me to die on, and so far, He has told me to keep going.
• Are we loving God’s people to life?
• Jesus keeps the door open, and I think He’s asking us to do the same thing.
• We often can’t help what happens to us, but we can take it to the Lord and we can trust that He’s weaving it and working it out for good.
• I’m trying very hard that regardless of what comes before me, before I react I pray; before I speak I pray. I take it to the Lord.
• Stop leaning on the world. It’s going to disappoint you. It’s going to hurt you. Take it to the Lord first and ask Him how he wants you to handle the situation with integrity as a friend, as a coworker, as a parent, as a child…we need to do what God tells us to do, but we have to be willing to listen first.
• Wisdom from the Lord will never steer us wrong. That doesn’t mean it will always be comfortable, but it will not mislead.
• God doesn’t care as much about our comfort as he cares about our character.
• When you walk with Christ, His favor is upon you. And when we walk in His favor, that makes us more attractive to those around us.

Scripture References:

• Matthew 13:6 NIV “But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.”
• Romans 12:1-2 NIV “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. But do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Recommended Resources:

• The Air That I Breathe: Hope and Healing from Anxiety (22 Day and Night Devotions) by Jodi Howe
• Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
• Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day
• YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
• Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
• Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
• Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
• Trusting God Through Cancer 1
• Trusting God Through Cancer 2
• Revive & Thrive Women's Conference
• Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.)
• Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win

Social Media Links for Guest and Host:

Connect with Jodi Howe:

Website

For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:

Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube

Guest:

Jodi Howe is an engaging stage performer, author, and award-winning podcaster known for her heartfelt messages and magnetic energy. She hosts "The Air That I Breathe," podcast and released a book of the same name last year, both inspired by her passion for sharing messages of hope through the gospel of Jesus. Based in Cary, North Carolina, Jodi inspires through her writing, music, and dedication to her family.

Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson