Attachment

The Ten Thousand Things

Is Attachment Theory the new Myers-Briggs? No
Is it helping? Yes! Is attachment also about friendship, family and self relationships? Yes!
Is it the magic bullet? Kind of, if you study Attachment Styles in depth, and do the work

It's The Dance of Attachment in Relationships!

In our return to podding for a new season, (sorry to disappear, reasons!!) we explore

• the nuanced world of attachment styles
• their profound influence on our relationships and self-awareness
• We delve into the complexities of understanding anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganized attachment styles
• tracing their roots back to early childhood and examining their impact on our adult romantic relationships, friendships, and the way we view ourselves
• sharing personal stories and insights
• we discuss concepts and strategies for navigating and seeking secure attachments
• in pursuit of fulfilling and healthy relationships we need:
  • setting and respecting healthy boundaries for ourselves and others
  • not to neglect our own needs
    • which includes attending to security within
    • being comfortable or tolerant of being alone with our own thoughts
    • personal purpose and meaning, and not to seek this from relationships alone
    • the distinction between being alone and feeling lonely
• and towards others:
  • open, non-judgemental communication
  • self-awareness
  • the delicate balance between independence and vulnerability
  • avoiding assumptions in communication and in interpreting the actions of others
  • the value of approaching life and relationships with openness and mindfulness

Yes it's all pointing towards the continuous process of personal growth and adaptation.

Mentions:
It was Tracy McMillan who wrote the blog Why You're Not Married https://www.huffpost.com/entry/why-youre-not-married_b_822088
Warning: contains statements that will not be universally accepted, but some of her insights are worthwhile, based on three marriages, at the time. She talks a lot about attachment theory also https://www.instagram.com/tracymcmillan

Let's Get Vulnerable podcast: https://episodes.fm/1496034764
Dr Tracey Morgan has a particular style, which I enjoy, and will grow on you, because she really knows what her stuff and it comes from hard personal experience, struggle and finally breakthrough. Promotes a paid program for women, with occasional male participants.

Other excellent podcasts on attachment theory, by expert practitioners in the field:

On Attachment: Stephanie Rigg is a good local voice. She experienced anxious attachment all her life, and her partner avoidant, but they have worked it through. Stephanie has great insight and advice, and also offers courses and workshops

Trauma Free Relationship Tom Philip delivers very easy to follow theory and practice, bite size chunks, a nice-relaxed style informed by a long career in relationship counselling https://episodes.fm/1682090107

Trauma Rewired (season 3 is on relationships https://episodes.fm/1537602643

Episode cover art by Craig, https://wish-art.blog/
Music theme by Ehsan https://www.youtube.com/c/EhsanGelsi

Creators & Guests

• Ali Catramados - Host
• Sam Ellis - Host
• Joe Loh - Host

• (00:00) - Attachment
• (00:12) - The 10,000 Things: Diving into Attachment Theory
• (00:29) - Attachment Styles: The New Myers-Briggs?
• (01:05) - Exploring Attachment Theory: Science and Personal Insights
• (03:14) - Anxious Attachment: Texting, turning into Teen Wolf, and Drowning Metaphors
• (07:13) - Disorganized Attachment: Navigating Dating and Self-Discovery
• (16:44) - Beyond Romance: Attachment in Friendships and Self-Care
• (40:04) - Navigating Attachment Styles in Relationships
• (42:01) - The Anxiety of Avoidant Attachment
• (42:48) - Exploring Past Relationships and Attachment Dynamics
• (44:56) - The Journey Towards Secure Attachment
• (01:00:25) - The Importance of Self-Awareness and Vulnerability
• (01:08:32) - Language of couples counselling
• (01:20:09) - Concluding Thoughts on Attachment and Personal Growth

0:00 Theme
00:12 Diving into Attachment Theory
00:29 Attachment Styles: The New Myers-Briggs?
01:05 Exploring Attachment Theory: Science and Personal Insights
03:14 Anxious Attachment: Texting, turning into Teen Wolf, and Drowning Metaphors
07:13 Disorganized Attachment: Navigating Dating and Self-Discovery
16:44 Beyond Romance: Attachment in Friendships, Family, Self-Care
40:04 Attachment Styles in Relationships
42:01 The Anxiety of Avoidant Attachment
42:48 Exploring Past Relationships and Attachment Dynamics
44:56 The Journey Towards Secure Attachment
01:00:25 The Importance of Self-Awareness and Vulnerability
01:08:32 Language of couples counselling
01:20:09 Concluding Thoughts on Attachment and Personal Growth