Episode 115 - Nice Won’t Make You Better — Truth Will

The Impactful Engineer Project - Mentorship, Career Growth, and Personal & Professional Excellence for Aspiring Engineers

Most engineers want feedback—until it stings. Then they explain it away, blame the delivery, or wait for someone “better” to say it. That’s how careers stall. In this episode, I break down how to separate signal from noise, use even the roughest feedback to grow, and stop making your improvement someone else’s responsibility. Not theory—practical, tactical advice from the trenches.

Key Topics Covered
• Why filtering every tough truth through tone makes you fragile
• The difference between “nice” and “kind” feedback—and why one kills growth
• How to spot the signal in feedback and ignore the noise
• The trap of waiting for perfect delivery before acting
• A real career story about getting called out—and using it to get better
• How polite silence from your peers can stunt your progress
• The mirror vs. weapon reframe for receiving feedback
• Why engineers who can take feedback without defense stand out
• The link between feedback loops and career acceleration
• How to turn painful feedback into stronger relationships

Actionable Steps
• When feedback hits, pause—don’t defend
• Say “Thanks” before you say anything else
• Ask for one concrete action you can take right now
• Request examples to clarify patterns or behaviors
• Reflect privately—find truth, don’t justify
• Follow up with the feedback giver after acting on it
• Shorten the feedback loop—don’t wait for yearly reviews
• Give people permission to give feedback in real time
• Treat feedback as a mirror, not a weapon
• Focus on content over tone—always

Who This Episode Is For
• Engineers who get defensive when challenged
• High performers tired of being overlooked for leadership
• Early-career engineers who want to grow faster
• ICs who want more trust and influence with their teams
• Anyone stuck waiting for “better” feedback before acting

Why It Matters
If you need feedback to be delivered perfectly before you act, you’ve made your growth someone else’s job. Leaders don’t wait for the perfect messenger—they act on the truth, however it arrives. Master this, and you’ll separate yourself from 95% of your peers.

Where to Listen
Spotify
Apple Podcasts
Google Podcasts
Or wherever you get your podcasts

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