023 - Overcoming Gaslighting In Your Marriage and Work

The Gaslight Effect

On this episode, Dr. Robin Stern talks with Phil Franks, co-founder, along with his wife Krista, of Owl & Key, a transformational lifestyle design company.

Phil and Krista created Owl & Key - in their own words - to be "Intentionally working toward a new reality where our most valuable resource (time) was spent where and how it mattered most to us. We wanted to be present with our children and loved ones. We wanted to invest in travel, new experiences and growth. We craved meaningful work that was aligned with how we wanted to feel, while having positive impact in the world. Most importantly, we desired more freedom and flexibility.

That journey took us through A LOT of changes. Slowly untangling from culture’s definition of “success,” (which we were really crushing, by the way!).

We left behind “successful” careers. We left life-changing financial opportunities. We left our unhealthy relationships. We left homes. We left our attachment to material possessions. We left business ventures (that we created). We left behind old versions of ourselves (and continue to do so as we grow).

Those changes transformed our lives."

Robin and Phil discuss how this decision to step away from corporate success and chart a new path of personal transformation wasn't without it's difficulties.

As Phil describes, one of the challenges was overcoming his innate default of being a "harmonizer" which Phil says goes back to his early childhood years.

Phil also explains how he and his wife Krista's personalities are very different. He is more of a big idea thinker who likes to explore lots of big picture goals and ideas, while Krista's personality is more rooted and internal.

This difference has led to times in the past where Phil feels he has been a gaslighter in his marriage. Robin's book and her teachings have helped Phil to not only give language to his behavior, but also have allowed him to identify and change his behavior to be better aligned with Krista both personally and within their business.

We hope you enjoy this open, honest and transformative conversation.

To read the full transcript and to hear other episodes, head over to robinstern.com, and please leave a rating and review wherever you listen to this podcast!