Stonewalling: Is it One of the Fastest Ways to Dismantle a Relationship? Why Does Stonewalling Occur?

Moving Forward with Hope - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Podcast

In this re-released episode of the podcast, host Lynn delves into the topic of stonewalling and explores why narcissists employ this manipulative tactic. Stonewalling is a means for narcissists to halt or diminish the flow of information during conversations, and it manifests in various ways.

The episode identifies six forms of stonewalling, including abruptly walking away from a conversation, feigning busyness to avoid engagement, ignoring or giving the silent treatment, minimizing or discrediting, and preventing the conversation from being about the other person. These behaviors are not isolated incidents but rather chronic patterns of behavior.

Lynn explains that narcissists reject closeness and intimacy, viewing them as negative and critical. They are averse to hearing feedback, disinterested in their partner's thoughts or passions, and only concerned with what the other person can do for them. Sharing openly and honestly within the relationship is met with disdain, as the narcissist lacks accountability, empathy, and the willingness to change.

Narcissists feel uncomfortable when the focus shifts away from themselves and onto their partner. They want to maintain their desired narrative and reputation, which can be challenged by their partner's personal stories and experiences. Additionally, stonewalling serves as a means for the narcissist to conceal their past actions, their true nature, and their lack of care for their partner.

The episode also explores the impact of stonewalling on the targeted individual. It generates shock, confusion, and a sense of questioning the relationship. Trust is eroded, feelings of insignificance and unappreciation arise, and the target may find themselves feeling alone and pitted against their partner. Ultimately, stonewalling can contribute to the breakdown of the relationship.

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