When Chizuk Stories Are Hard to Hear

Living Emunah By Rabbi David Ashear

When a person hears an amazing story about how Hashem saved someone from his problem, it's supposed to give him chizuk to realize how fortunate he is that he also has Hashem who could help him from his problem as well. People have said, however, that hearing these kinds of stories can have the opposite effect on them. It makes them feel worse that everyone else gets help for their problems, but those kinds of stories never happen to them. They want to feel encouraged, but it's hard for them. They are asking for advice on how to improve their attitudes. First of all, every Jew has a responsibility to believe in and hope that Hashem will save him from his problem. When a person knows he has an obligation to do something, it is easier to get himself to do it. But whether or not we hear a story about Hashem saving someone else with a similar predicament, we must strengthen ourselves to constantly hope and pray to Him to help us and believe that He can do it in an instant with ease, no matter how difficult things seem to be. When we hear of Him doing it for others, we should take the lesson that Hashem is capable of helping, and He does help, and it should encourage us to pray even more. Furthermore, when a person hears about a salvation from Hashem, he has an extraordinary opportunity to do a great avodah. The Tiferet Shlomo in Parashat Yitro writes, there is a special service in thanking and praising Hashem when He saves others. The pasuk tells us, when Yitro heard about what Hashem did to save the Jews from Mitzrayim and at Kriyat Yam Suf, he praised Hashem for saving them, even though He was not part of that salvation. This is a beautiful midda, to be able to appreciate what Hashem does, even though we are not the ones being saved. Our job in this world is to bring glory to Hashem, and this is one of the ways to accomplish that. To thank Hashem for salvations that He brings others is a pure praise, just appreciating Him without ulterior motives. Says the Tiferet Shlomo, this is why the Torah mentions these words of Yitro, to praise Him for doing such a beautiful avodah. Whenever a person praises Hashem, it brings glory to Him. The more difficult it is to praise, the more precious the praise becomes. To thank Hashem when we receive open good is very valuable. It shows that we recognize that the blessing came from Hashem. But to thank Him for someone else's salvation is much more difficult. And to thank Him when that person himself is going through hardship is even more difficult. Take for example somebody who was having difficulty getting married and hears a story about Hashem's Hashgacha Peratit in bringing someone else who was also having difficulty their zivug. To thank Hashem for that is worth so much more. There are people who are able to thank Hashem even during their most difficult times. I was recently visiting a mourner during his shiva, and he was telling a rabbi there about how thankful he was to Hashem for doing certain things to make the death easier on his relative. This was a very big tragedy of the relative passing at a young age, yet the mourner was finding ways to praise Hashem. The rabbi listening to this told the mourner, you can't imagine how much nachat ruach you are bringing Hashem at this moment. Instead of complaining and being bitter, you are praising Him. The more difficult it is to praise, the more valuable it becomes. So if someone has been feeling bad about hearing of others getting salvations, he should utilize the opportunity going forward to thank and praise Hashem for the salvations that He brings His children. And if it's hard to do, it's even more valuable.