Laksamba: The Long Journey Ahead

Church for LGBT - Open Table MCC - Philippines

Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, and when they did not find his body there they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.” Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his glory?” Then beginning with Moses and all the prophets, he interpreted to them the things about himself in all the scriptures.

As they came near the village to which they were going, he walked ahead as if he were going on. But they urged him strongly, saying, “Stay with us, because it is almost evening and the day is now nearly over.” So he went in to stay with them. When he was at the table with them, he took bread, blessed and broke it, and gave it to them. Then their eyes were opened, and they recognized him, and he vanished from their sight. They said to each other, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking to us on the road, while he was opening the scriptures to us?” That same hour they got up and returned to Jerusalem, and they found the eleven and their companions gathered together. They were saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and he has appeared to Simon!” Then they told what had happened on the road and how he had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread.

Scripture Reading
Luke 24:13-35 (NRSVUE)

You have heard this numerous times, “life is one big adventure. It is a journey.” Another way of saying is that “life is an ongoing story you get to write and tell.” Christianity is not only a religion of remembering but it is a religion of stories and storytelling. Jesus himself was a good storyteller.

Our own MCC statement of faith tells us two things:

Metropolitan Community Churches is one chapter in the story of the Church, the Body of Christ.

We are people on a journey, learning to live into our spirituality, while affirming our bodies, our genders, our sexualities.

It is important to always remember the importance of looking at our lives, relationships, and communities as stories and journeys. Stories with different chapters and perhaps different trilogies as well as journeys with different phases. Mga paglalakbay na may iba’t ibang yugto. Journeys are important because one sign of life is movement or mobility. You move. You go somewhere. You are not stuck or stagnant in the same place or situation. Stories are important so much so that it the entertainment industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. So is the industry of tourism and travel. Both industries sustain thousands if not billions of lives directly and indirectly. Pag sinama mo pa ang religion also as an industry of stories and meaning-making, and pilgrimages, then the “business” of stories, storytelling, as well as journeys, they affect innumerable lives.

Without realizing it, journeys and storytelling are intricately important in our lives, relationships, communities, and even our faith. That’s why you pay subscriptions to binge watch stories and adventures. That’s why you go to church to listen and reflect on God’s story in relation to your own story and journey. That’s why you go to pilgrimages or your travel locally and internationally to come, taste, and see. Stories and journeys are essential in living, working, and even worshiping. Our own personal lives are stories and journeys that can be told and retold. Our own lives with all our struggles and pain, our mistakes and failures, our hopes, dreams, and longings, the people we loved and lost, falling in love and breaking our hearts – all of these and many more carry seeds of the Gospels, the Goodnews, and you should know this by now that the Gospel can only be told in and through stories. But God is not only found in the stories of the bible – the written text – but also found in the stories and journeys of our individual and collective lives. Ang Diyos ay hindi lamang nasusumpungan sa kwento ng Bibliya, Siya rin ay higit na nararanasan sa kwento ng iyong buhay. Sa kwento ng buhay ng bawat isa. Lalong-lalo na sa kwento natin na magkakasama. You are God’s story being told. We are God’s story being shared. You and I are people on a journey within the story of God.

C.S Song in his book, In The Beginning Were Stories, Not Text, says that,

God is not a concept. God is story. God is life.

A god who has no story to tell is a god of no substance.

Ang Diyos na buhay ay Diyos ng mga kwento at paglalakbay

Ano ang nagpapatuloy na kwento mo at kwento ng Diyos sa buhay mo? Ano ang nagpapatuloy na kwento ng isang mumuting simbahan ng mga LGBTQIA+ sa Pilipinas at ang kwento ng Diyos sa kanilang community? Ano at saan ang susunod na lakbayin?

Our gospel reading for today comes from one of the famous Easter stories of the gospel of Luke. After Jesus got tortured, crucified, died, and was buried, many of his 5000 and more followers dispersed and left him. Many of them who hoped that he was indeed the promised Messiah got disappointed and definitely got scared. Like many other Messiahs before, he too was crucified. Akala nila iba sya from those before. Akala talaga nila sya na ang magpapatalsik sa mga Romano sa kanilang lupain and re-establish the new and everlasting kingdom of David. Kaso, pinako rin sya ng Romano tulad nung ibang mga Messias na nauna sa kanya. Halika na. Uwi na tayo. Tapos na ang kwentong it. Tapos na ang naging paglalakbay nitong Hesus na taga Nazareth. His journey has finally ended, like others, in the Cross and in the grave. Uwi na tayo at balik na tayo sa ating mga pinagmulang mga buhay at ating tiisin na lamang ang Roman oppression and try to survive as best as we can. From 5000 or more followers entering Jerusalem, natira ay iilang piraso na takot na takot na nagtatago sa isang lihim na upper room.

Most likely ito yung nasa isip nung dalwang disipules na dali-daling umalis ng Jerusalem sa takot na sila ay mabilang sa mga taga sunod ni Kristo at hulihin in the coming days. So they left immediately kaya hindi nila nawitness yung Risen Christ. But the Risen Christ met them in their journey of running away and their attempt to going back to their former lives.

When Jesus appeared to them they were discussing everything that just happened to Jesus. When the stranger asked what they were discussion they were described as “stood or walked along sad”. Sad perhaps is an understatement or maybe not a totally accurate translation nonetheless, eto siguro yung pakiramdam of total defeat. Yung pakiramdam ng pagkatalo at regret, and thinking to yourself na nagkamali ka sa pinili mong tao. Naradaman nyo na ba yun? Why did Jesus got tortured and killed. They witnessed him perform great miracles of power. He spoke with authority like no other. He fed thousands. He spoke with wisdom and compassion, and a new way of living. He welcomed and embraced them as farmers, fisherfolks, as women, as lepers, sinners, and children. He saw them and gave value to them by telling their stories of farmers and farming. He gave dignity to women ill repute by allowing them to touch him. He showed compassion when he healed the pederastic lover of an enemy of his people. He showed them diversity and inclusion by healing the daughter of a pagan mother. He broke social and religious barriers by frequently having meals with tax collectors and other despised peoples. Bakit sya pinako sa Krus? Bakit nangyari ang lahat ng mga bagay na ito? Why did everything got fucked up? Sinayang ba naming ang 3 or more years naming na pagsunod at pakikilakbay sa Nazarenong ito? Now, baka pati kami mapiligro at matulad sa kanya? Why did all of these happened to Jesus of Nazareth?

Can you relate? Have you had moments and situations when you asked yourself what happened to your life, relationship, and career? You feel so much pain, sorrow and fear for the future having experienced something terrible previously? Or being left by your former lover? Losing a job? Or perhaps being kicked out of the church and its ministry after you served faithfully and passionately for 10 or more years because they found out na gay ka or lesbian? Have you asked yourself kung nagkamali ka ba na ialay buhay mo sa simbahan only to be replaced immediately kasi babae ka at merong bagong mas batang lalake na gusto magpastor? Does my story end when I got kicked out of the church I served for a decade? Does the story of God in my life end because my partner of 2 years, 5 years, or 10 years left me for someone else? Will my story and the story of God’s goodness end because I lost my job for the company I worked for many years? Does my story and God’s blessing end after I lost thousands of money to a scammer or a failed investment? Does my story and God’s love end because I got diagnosed with HIV? Will the story of liberation and equality and God’s work of justice end because activist leaders were murdered by state forces? Does the journey and story of Open Table MCC and God’s faithfulness end because of the 2012 conflict when the former pastor was de-frocked and removed? Or mag-eend ba ang Open Table MCC with the end of the Free To Be Me project? Hanggang dito na lang ba ang kwento at journey ko nung umalis ang jowa ko or nawalan ako ng trabaho? Tapos na ba ang kwento ng Open Table MCC nung iilang piraso na lang kami sa yellow room at sa NCCP compound?

As the two disciples continue their journey and now with a STRANGER accompanying them, they continued to wonder and to discuss everything that happened. The 3 of them trying to make sense and meaning out of the story and journey of Jesus together with what was written in the Torah and the Prophets. Then they reached the town of Emmaus and there they had to stop for the night to eat and rest. They asked the stranger to join them to also eat and rest for the night. The stranger broke bread and blessed the cup in the manner that Jesus did a few days ago. From there, their eyes were opened and had a profound experience of the risen Christ who, without realizing it earlier, met them on the road and was journeying with them all throughout, speaking to them and helping them understand and find meaning to the story, journey, life, and journey of the Nazarene who got crucified 3 to 4 days ago.

In our confusion, pain, fear, and searching for answers, we do not readily recognize God’s presence in our continuing story and journey even when that new journey is a running away. We feel as if God has died. As if God has abandoned us. God has failed us when things did not go as expected and as promised. For many LGBTQIA+ people, having been repeatedly told that God hates them and then being kicked out of church or their family, their form of running away is to become agnostic or an atheist. Which is not. Necessarily a bad thing. When a relationship failed parang pakiramdama natin na wala ng magmamahal pa sayong iba ulit at parang hindi mo deserve ang mas maayos at mas quality na relasyon. Losing a job. A loved one passed away. A church I served for a decade kicked me out. My parents did not accept me as queer child and in some instances got thrown out of the house. Asan ang Diyos sa lahat ng kaguluhan at pighati sa mundong ito lalong lalo na sa harap ng lahat ng injustices, oppression, and violence sa ating paligid?

Then as we journey on trying to make sense of it all, angry, confused, and pained, strangers come along the way. We find new friends. We see in Instagram a weird and controversial queer community claiming to be a church for LGBTQIA+ Filipinos. We find a new lover; a new job; a new chosen parent or chosen family. We then journey together without realizing that the face and voice of God was precisely the strangers, new friends, and new church we found along the road of running away. We only recognize God again or even recognize Love once more after a long journey and within the intimacy of a shared meal.

After having a profound experience of the Risen Christ, the two disciples immediately travelled back to Jerusalem to tell their story to the other disciples of the crucified Messiah. Hindi na iniiisp yung danger traveling at night at hindi na iniinda yung takot na sila rin ay hulihin at parusahan tulad ni Hesus, dali dali silang kumaripas pabalik ng Herusalem para ikwento ang kanilang naging paglalakbay at karanasan.

C.S. Song further articulates in the same book,

Is there anything you can do except to tell stories in times of helplessness? When you are at a loss as what to do, does not telling stories enable you to regain your faith? In times of crisis, whether personal or national, does not sharing stories help you turn crisis into opportunities? History in story shows the way. Humor in story gives courage. Hope in story empowers us for the future. In the midst of darkness, a story becomes light illuminating our way.”

And in the same story telling along the journey and in the breaking of bread among strangers and friends, we suddenly meet God in the flesh, the living Christ in our midst.

Sabi nga nila mahaba pa ang lakbayin at hindi pa tapos ang kwento mo.

Same with Open Table MCC. Malayo na ang nilakbay at naranasan after 18 years. Maraming mga tanong, lungkot, galit, at pagkalito ang ating tinanong. Ang aking tinanong ng paulit-ulit… bakit ganito? Bakit Ganun? Why this church of LGBT can’t seem to get its act together? Why can’t we become a church that we and God can be proud off? And in the midst of all the questioning, doubting, confusion, bitterness and even frustration along the 18 years of journey, with strangers and friends coming and going, and some staying… Jesus was always with us in our journey as a queer DIY church and making himself known, Sunday after Sunday in the breaking of the bread and in the sharing of our stories.

But the journey does not end at 18 years. The story is not concluded with this chapter or this book 3. As with all journeys that come to their finish and stories that come to a temporary end, new journeys begin and new stories are to written. New challenges. New strangers to meet along the way. New job. New lover. Or even new life as single person. New church. New leaders of this church. New friends to invite to the community and the mission. New people to heal, to touch, to share a meal with, to listen to their stories, and to proclaim God’s love. Scary still as it may seem a new journey that will still lead to the cross, but this time, we have courage, hope, and strength because we lived through the worst and therefore we have proven in each of our individual lives and in this church community for 18 years that indeed Jesus is Risen and he has never left us. He will continue to journey with us in the many different journeys of our individual lives and journey with this community. And that wherever our journey leads, we will always have the promise of the resurrection and will always be alive in the stories that are told long after we are gone. You. You. You. You have stories to tell and journeys to walk. It will not always be a walk in the park or with happy endings but Jesus journeys with you. Jesus and his gospel is in the journey and story of your life and in the story and journey of Open Table MCC. Let us all together journey on and continue our story as Queer Christians and as MCC.

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