Ep 68 Dismissing Abusive Behavior : Travis Kelce and NFL Let's Do Better

But Still, She Thrives - Narcissistic Abuse, Toxic Relationships, Grey Rock Method, Healthy Boundaries, Childhood Abuse, Trauma Healing

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Speaker 1: (00:00)
Welcome to, but still she thrives. This is your host, Kristi Jade. Today we're gonna talk about the hot topic of the week, the Super Bowl. Um, obviously you guys know I probably have an opinion about this. I'm gonna talk about my opinion. It is my opinion. This is not fact or the truth or the one answer. Um, but I have some opinions to share about the whole situation with Travis and coach. So stay tuned.
Speaker 2: (00:31)
Hey, Queens, welcome to, but still she thrives. Do you wanna stop getting caught up in that wicked web of a creepy crawling narcissist? You find yourself up late at night replaying the abuse you put up with and wondering how you can heal. Now, do you wake up hoping for healthy relationships and peace only to feel totally exhausted and mind effed? Girl, I see you. I'm Christy. I too had to disconnect from toxic people in my life, and I wished I could undo the damage. I felt ashamed, lonely, and kind of lost. But I'm a stubborn Italian and I refuse to give up. I found ways to recalibrate my mind and body more quickly than I thought and can now share them with you. In this podcast, you will find coping tools, healing methods, and confidence boosters so you can trust yourself and find peace and freedom. So, shields up ladies, let's go protect our peace.
Speaker 1: (01:29)
Okay? So if you didn't watch the Super Bowl, uh, at one point Travis Kelsey, um, was up in the coach's face. He kind of chest bumped him and looked very angry. You couldn't hear what he was saying. Um, lip readers did say there was a couple different lip readers. I guess they were professional lip readers, um, that said similar things that he said f-bomb and was, you know, yelling at coach, you know, to put him in. And it was disturbing. It was disturbing enough that a bunch of people were talking about it today. Then we have the other people were saying, like, you know, give the guy a break, you know, he's in the spotlight, this and that. So there's a lot of opinions about it on both sides. There's people saying, oh, you can't this cancel culture. You can't cancel everybody. So here's my opinion on it, and I talk about this obviously in relation to, I, I obviously have a lot of education in this field of abuse.
Speaker 1: (02:39)
Let me say, I'm not saying this is exactly abuse. I do look at this as kind of abusive behavior. Um, abuse to me is, you know, cruel behavior and that can be emotional, physical, whatever, right? Um, I'm not saying ongoing abuse. I don't know their relationship. Do I know the coach has said he had a really bad temper and they've worked on it? Yes. So it's not like outta blue, he's never had a temper before. Some people dismiss that. So here's another part of it, right? We all grow up in different families, different cultures, and tolerate different things. If you follow me, you know, I don't tolerate any form of abuse, any form of cruel treatment. Do people have moments? Yes, but there's a level to me, um, if you wanna call it a body check, I don't know the definition of body check, but whatever he kind of chest bumped him, got in his physical space and was yelling that to me, I would not tolerate from another human, right?
Speaker 1: (03:46)
And this is his boss. It's somewhat of an elderly man, um, that he should be respecting, but I don't think he should do it to anyone. Does it add a layer of like, oh, what the? Yeah, like, I mean, if I did that, here's the thing, right? If I did that when I was working in the corporate world, obviously I would get my fired, right? And you could say, oh, well it's football. It's different to an extent, obviously yes, on the field, there's, you know, there's a lot of testosterone and I don't like to excuse testosterone and that we may have differences there, right? People, oh, people on steroids and this and that, okay? I don't, everyone needs to be accountable for their behavior. So that's where my point comes in of, am I even saying he necessarily should be totally canceled? I don't know.
Speaker 1: (04:36)
Here's my thing. Number one, there should be consequences to actions. Let's say it was a mistake, and he's such a great guy, and we'll get to that too, right? Oh, he made, he made a mistake or whatever. Um, but he's thrown helmets before he is had tantrums. This I, you know, obviously got more attention because of it was with the coach up in his face, the physical part of it. So him doing that, A, there was no consequence. I have a problem with that, that literally I think, I think it was kind of tried to be like shoved under the rug, but then obviously today people are speaking out about it, right? But there doesn't seem to be any consequence yet. I, I do hope there is something, right? I don't, I don't know what exactly that looks like. And I know people love money and people love, you know, good football players, right?
Speaker 1: (05:31)
But that's that privilege. That's a whole other topic. I mean, it's within this topic, but I'm not gonna go deeply into this stuff. I'm just giving my opinion. So I was upset with that and I was also upset that there was no apology. Someone did tell me today that on not live tv, that he went over and hugged, coach and apologized, right? First of all, we didn't see that. Second of all, there are a lot of children, boys and girls watching these football players and looking to them as role models, right? He's been in the limelight a lot, and there are a lot of younger boys and girls looking up to him. You could say, well, it's not his job, X, y, z you could say that. But this is my opinion. And I think if you are in the limelight and you know that children are watching, and I mean even just other, you know, peers watching, looking to you, um, as a role model that you, you do, you should be on your best behavior, right?
Speaker 1: (06:46)
And someone else said that. Well, we all, um, what they, I don't remember their exact phrasing, but they, because I posted about this on my personal Facebook and I, you know, I knew I'd get for it, but you know, me, I don't, I don't really care. Um, and I got, I mean, I got supportive comments and I got comments that disagreed. But I, you know, I like to have these conversations and, and see where people's minds are at. And I'm asking you guys, feel free to comment in my pod bean or to email me. If you're mama c I'll put in the show notes or on my YouTube, if you're on my YouTube, you can comment right there, um, your opinion of it. And if you know me, I do listen, I listen to things. I have my own opinions. We might go back and forth.
Speaker 1: (07:31)
Um, and I like to be respectful when we have these conversations. But, and now I lost my train of thought squirrel. Um, but to me the fact, yes, there may have been an apology, we didn't hear it. He has these people looking up to him. I do think it, it was important if he thought it was a mistake or maybe he didn't, maybe he's dismissing it like these other people are, and you might be one of them. I don't know where it's like, oh, big deal. So what, you know, that's where we're just not gonna see eye to eye, obviously. Um, and, and I'm a tough person if you know the I've been through, I'm a tough B, right? But you are in a professional setting, whether it's football or not. And oh, we could go to the point too that the coach said, I'm trying to think of all the stuff people said back, um, that the coach said, you know, like basically was defending him, right?
Speaker 1: (08:30)
Saying like, oh yeah, he is passionate and whatever. I will say this. And I'm not saying he is an ongoing abuser. I don't know his life, right? Um, I can tell you my intuition or feelings about that if anyone wants to know if, but coach defending him, we can compare it. It's very different. This is apples to oranges. But just trying to give you a picture of like, someone has the, a lot of people are having this idea of like, oh, well the coach said it was okay, he is fine. Okay? A little secret. Like here in the, the like bigger abuse world, right? Where we're dealing with ongoing a marital abuse, all of domestic violence in that world, do you know how many people protect their abusers? It's it's natural. I mean, I did it myself, literally helped patch up holes in the wall because you are under their power, okay?
Speaker 1: (09:32)
So like, that's what I don't know if people get that. And I'm not saying again, ongoing abuse, I'm just saying even in that situation, the coaches, like, he may have felt like he can't go against this dude right in the middle of the Super Bowl, right? Like, what's he gonna say? Oh, he is a. And he disrespect me. Like there's many reasons that wouldn't fly, which again, I disagree with, but I do know our society. I know the NFLI know teams are celebrating, right? This is a joyful moment. Nobody wants to be brought down by that. Um, but that being said, and again, it is kind of apple's oranges here, but it's showing you and reminding you that even if he said it's okay, it might not have been. I can't say that for sure. I don't know. He could have been like, yeah, whatever, right?
Speaker 1: (10:28)
But for the kids watching, well, the people watching in general, I think there should have been a consequence to show, even if it was a one time thing and he never acted angry or whatever and just acted out of anger that night, there should be a consequence. That's my opinion. It's a lot of people's opinion right now. And number two, there should have been an apology. And maybe it's coming. I think it's a little late if it is not too late. I mean, but I, I also do wonder, you know, certain things, sometimes you have to run it through PR and it might take time. I would've thought it'd be out by tonight if he was going to apologize. He also might not think he did anything wrong. Like I talked about, just like some of you may think, right? So those are my two things.
Speaker 1: (11:19)
Am am I throwing, you know, people are like, oh, you know, you shouldn't cancel him. I'm like, I'm not necessarily canceling him. I'm just bringing awareness to this is how things go wrong when things aren't even acknowledged or said like, this isn't cool, so there's gonna be a consequence. You know, I'm not dictating what that consequence should be. I'm not saying it should be canceling him out forever and he is just dead to everybody. I'm not saying that. I'm saying there should be consequence. Like there should be for anybody who acts like a clown. And number two, again, reminder . Sorry, I'm sorry. A sincere apology that I acted like that or coming forward and explaining. 'cause we don't know, we didn't hear the exact words, right? Something, some acknowledgement. And, and from what it looked like, it did look like he was angry and he was physical.
Speaker 1: (12:18)
I don't know how you can spin that exactly to, not that, but let's say he could explain or yeah, say, you know what? I, I got aggressive. It was heated and I'm sorry, that's what I think should have happened. That's my opinion. Um, I would love to hear yours in the comments anywhere, um, in my email. And yes, I don't, I don't know. I just felt like tonight's little episode, um, I was talking about this throughout the day on my Facebook , so it's obviously something I was feeling because it is a, a bigger picture of like, come on, we're at a point here. Like, I'm not saying cancel culture is great at all. I'm saying there should be some consequence for, for actions that are not cool, for mistakes, for whatever it is, there should be consequences. And people should be able as grownups to say, you know what, yeah, what I did, I, I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 1: (13:21)
I would've done it differently if I did it again, not an excuse, but I was riled up in the heat of the moment to Super Bowl and this happened and the whatever. But he said, from what I read, like, you know, I read different articles from what I read. He said, I'm gonna keep that. He said, you guys heard that? I'm gonna keep that. And that was on the TV too, but I'm gonna keep that between me and him, unless his micd up shared it with the world, right? or lip reader came along. But so, I mean that shows it probably wasn't very pretty right? So why not just say, yeah, my bads if he apologized to him, that's great. But yes, you are in the public.
Speaker 1: (14:08)
And some would say maybe I, I've heard kind of like a tinge of, oh, he doesn't owe anybody anything just 'cause he is a football, right? Like, I, I guess not. But that would help a lot of people feel better about it. And there's a lot of pe I mean, I don't watch football like obsessively, right? I used to watch it more when I was younger. Um, but there's a lot of die hard fans that have come forward saying they are disgusted and embarrassed that this, you know, it's, it's not just like me, you know, , my type of audience. Like there are, you're seeing die hard fans saying, I respected you so much. I've lost all respect for you, right? Um, so I think for those fans, especially for the kids looking up to him, not to me this suburban mom on a podcast , but for those people watching him looking up to him, expecting to have like a great time watching the Super Bowl and then getting disappointed like that, sure, it's life. We're human. Maybe it's just a mistake and his temper really has been better lately and he's turned a leaf great. Sometimes we fall back a little bit. That's okay.
Speaker 1: (15:29)
Say you're sorry and do better. Okay? That's all. Rant over. Um, love you guys. I have, what do I have to tell? Speaking of suburban mom, I am now . This is like, this is like the weirdest podcast I've ever done. Um, but I am selling Mary Kay. You guys know, if you follow me on YouTube, most, most of the people who will be excited about this, um, are my YouTube people because we're like all makeup freaks and stuff. That's, if you don't know, I started my YouTube channel was makeup tutorials, makeup. I used to be a makeup artist. And that's how it started. And um, I developed into a lot more. But anyway, I am now selling Mary Kay and I was selling it before then I moved, I stopped selling it, and now I move back to Maryland. I'm selling it again. Here's a little one if you're on the camera.
Speaker 1: (16:19)
Oh, there's some eyeshadow. I have so much makeup. I have ordered, I have samples. I, we have a spring line coming up and this can be for the people here. I'm like starting to blend this stuff together. Like sometimes I would keep this separate. I'm like, but this is like women who are trying to find confidence and their new identity and feeling good about yourselves. We like to do the skincare and may, I mean, not everyone needs to do makeup. Hey, I love makeup. I know a lot of my followers do. It helps us feel better. And just for me, I love actually doing, it's like art to me sometimes when I go really crazy with the eyes. Um, so I am going to be selling, I'm not gonna be mostly, you know, I'm not gonna be talking about Mary Kay every podcast or anything.
Speaker 1: (17:08)
But if there is like a promotion or something going on, or you want to, if you guys wanna join, if you are interested in makeup and beauty, I'll be doing tips and stuff on videos in my Facebook group. It's like a Mary Kay specific group. I will put that link in my show notes so you can come follow me there and I'll be doing all the fun. Those are gonna be really fun videos. I'm so excited to start doing like little short makeup tips, sh like spotlighting certain products that I love. Um, and just having chats. We'll do live chats, stuff like that too. So if that sounds like something you're interested in 'cause you wanna feel like a queen 'cause you are a queen, then sign up right there. Go to my little Facebook page and if you're just here 'cause you, I don't know a keyword brought you to here, come follow me or don't. But it's fun. We have fun here. Um, I guess that's it. I will guy, I will guys, I will speak to you tomorrow. I'm so tired, y'all, I've been getting crap sleep this week. So excuse me if, if my words aren't blending together as usual, do they ever? No. My squirrel brain has me all over. Alright, love you guys. Put your deuces up, put your smooches up and I will see you in the next episode. Bye.