Produced by Tenderfire Media, Dear Jessamyn was a weekly podcast encompassing real, raw, and rarely sugar-coated conversations about relationships and loving outside the box. Hosted by romantic partners — award winning writer and yogi, Jessamyn Stanley and Tenderfire Media founder ashe danger phoenix — listeners receive intimate access into the lives of a polyamorous queer couple navigating life.
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Why Am I Judging Myself For Being Fat? (Finale)
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This episode of Dear Jessamyn is the last planned recording of the show. Before this possibly long (or never ending) hiatus, a newly fat Deary asks about how to love her new body. We love you all. This episode mentions: Baby News Network; Adipositivity; Substantia Jones; Samantha Irby; Bitches Gotta Eat Blog; and 2 Whole Cakes Dear Jessamyn is prod…
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Breaking It Down (A Replay)
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This week, we’re taking a look back at a crucial episode for the show from 2021 - episode 204. We’re keeping it real and breaking [it] down. Jessamyn and ashe review an unpublished recording while answering Carrie’s question, “Were we in fact dating the same person over and over again?” and their own questions about selling a product versus authent…
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Why Are We In Relationships?
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Two things: 1. Love you like you know me. 2. Moving onto an RV is anti-dating. ashe and Jessamyn are back on the mic, giving us a solid What’s New In Paradise. HINT: Relationship update. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. This episode was edited by ashe and Produced by Kylee C. Rob…
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Play, Parties & Psilocybin: What Are Your Wellness Trends?
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In the last Summer Session of this year, ashe and Jessamyn discuss their current wellness trends. Inspired by Aidy Bryant and Bowen Yang's Weekend Update bit: Trend Forecasters. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts Angell Foster and Nya William…
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Producer Talks Back: Have You Ever Been Fired?
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Okay, but who is your celebrity crush?? In the fifth summer session, our Producer Kylee C. Roberts joins ashe and Jessamyn to play a short round of We're Not Really Strangers. Got a question? Head to Dearjessamyn.com/queery and you may hear it answered on the show! Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and…
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Neurodivergent & Terrible Flirt: How Do I Start A Summer Romance?
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In the fourth installment of our Dear Jessamyn: Summer Sessions, ashe and Jessamyn answer a Deary Queery from a 40 y/o, queer, nonbinary married person who started HRT five months ago. Since starting T, they feel happier and more comfortable in their body, wanting to make friends with more queer people, date some folks, have a summer romance. It's …
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What Is Your Dream Metamour-Ship?
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Record scratch and rewind! ashe and Jessamyn are revisiting a question from season 1, episode 4 of the podcast: What The F**k is A Metamour? They're chatting about their relationship evolution, wants and needs. Got a question? Head to Dearjessamyn.com/queery and you may hear it answered on the show! Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media You…
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What Are Y'all Watching This Summer?
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Summer Session #2: We all have our comfort watches, but if you need some suggestions, ashe and Jessamyn are coming in hot with their recent and favorite shows and movies across streaming platforms. This episode was recorded on stolen Ohlone Land. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. …
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Were You the Ghost? Or Were You Ghosted?
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Welcome to the Summer Sessions! In these shorter form episodes, ashe and Jessamyn are stickin' to one topic they've been dying to discuss. This week: Have Y'all Been Ghosted? Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts Angell Foster and Nya Williams d…
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320 What Are You Doing This Summer?
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It’s the last episode of the season and we are saluting Virgo rising. For the last time until the fall, our hosts invite in gratitude, share their favorite things and answer a Deary Queery about summer planning in a polycule. This episode mentions: Undrowned: Black Feminist Lessons from Marine Mammals by Alexis Pauline Gumbs, What I Know For Sure b…
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319 In A Hetero Relationship, How Do I Connect To My Queerness?
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This week, Jessamyn and ashe are calling in joy and levity and spirit presence happy good and bright and meant to be and always was and here. Episode mentions: Out of the Closet, Logic, Kathryn Budi, Asha Patel Designs collab, Tenderfire Media’s newest podcast I Hate It Here, Planet Earth, The Planet Podcast This episode was recorded on stole Ohlon…
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318 Have You Ever Dated a Narcissist?
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Have you ever dated someone with an STD? Is it selfish to pursue a relationship with a married person? This week’s Deary is an Aquarius with some impactful queries. Episode mentions: Words of Wisdom by Ram Dass, Dharmacosm, Ekhart Tolle's Power of Now audiobook, Letters to a Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke and DSM5’s definition of Narcissistic Per…
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317 Does Your Roommate Clap Cheeks In Front of You?
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Wait, there’s a platypus controlling you? What? ANYWAY. This week, Jessamyn and ashe are diving into their favorite things (RE: the first sentence of this description), giving last week’s trivia answer (hint: Durham native), responding to some listener feedback and answering a Deary with a Queery. Episode mentions: Pauli Murray, Barbara Lau and Ep.…
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316 How Did This Happen? Eczema, Chick-Fil-A and Janie Gibbs
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There’s something in the air this week as Jessamyn and ashe record after the partial solar eclipse. Our hosts review 315’s trivia answer (hint: Cancerian Black genius immigrant) and talk about recent skincare adventures. Also, fu*k the Supreme Court. This episode mentions Ashe’s white guilt from Ep. 313 and Harriet The Spy. This episode was recorde…
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315 Can You Enter A New Season Without Your Partner?
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Jessamyn answers a DM about her relationship with her other partner, and what it’s like to start a new phase of her life with physical distance between them. Also introducing a new segment… CW: Suicide and suicidal ideations at 5:41 and 10:16. This episode mentions: Haus of Phoenix, @HungryHUngryHeejin, Four Agreements Dear Jessamyn is produced by …
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314 How Do You Tantrum?
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What does it look like to be luxurious with time? Jessamyn and ashe are here with updates from camper on the East Coast, continuing conversations about conflict. This week we’re also introducing our newest segments: Our Favorite Things and Trivia! Hey quick reminder: No One Should Be In Jail For Weed. This episode mentions the We Go High Shop, Song…
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313 What's Your Conflict Animal?
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When was the last time you thought about what makes you mad and what that was actually about? This week Jesssamyn and ashe are individually reflecting on the context of their internal and relationship conflicts, and yes, what their conflict animals mean. Mentions Conflict is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Rep…
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312 Does Your Therapist Know Your Astrology?
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Does your therapist know your Big Three, Myers-Briggs and attachment style? Jessamyn and ashe discuss the importance of openness with your therapist. There’s also some conversation about capitalism. Cue the O’Jays. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. …
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311 What's Your November?
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It's April, but we thought we should ask. Jessamyn and Ashe discuss what's new in paradise, all of Jessamyn’s recent travel and answer Tyler The Creator's question; What's Your November? Do you know where you are on your journey? Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Produc…
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310 Can A Monogamous Person Be Wild?
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Jessamyn and Ashe ponder a question from a Deary: Can a monogamous person find as much adventure and challenge as a polyamorous person can? Upon reflection during What's New In Paradise, Jessamyn also shares that she may be asking for more vulnerability from Ashe than she typically offers from herself. Got a question? Head to Dearjessamyn.com/queer…
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309 When Fire Meets The Ocean
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We’re taking some time to spring clean today! It’s time to reflect on the past; think on where you've been and what you're carrying and what you're going to bring forward this season. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts Angell Foster and Nya W…
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Replay - 106 Am I Poly Or Am I Bored
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In this replay episode from May 2020, Jessamyn and ashe ask; Are you dreaming of the day quarantine is over, and you can finally head over to your friend's house so you can ruin your friendship with sex? We are too. What a different world! I mean, what else are we thinking about these days? Ashe and Jessamyn finish their conversation about compersi…
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308 Where's A Queer Supposed To Live?
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A fabulous question from “Bi and Large” came through our hosts’ inbox inquiring on the coolest weed-friendly, queer-friendly, dog-friendly places to visit and live. After having traveled throughout a lot of the US recently in their RV, Jessamyn and ashe are the perfect people to answer! Got a question? Head to Dearjessamyn.com/queery and you may he…
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307 How Much Power Should Your Third Have?
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Jessamyn and ashe recount a frustrating, yet sometimes funny, sexual scenario with a third. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts Angell Foster and Nya Williams do our social media Janie Leopard does our episode art Anna Rooney is Jessamyn’s Chi…
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306 What Are Our Responsibilities As Friends?
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Jessamyn and ashe finished the first season of the HBOMax original And Just Like That, and are here to chat to say that sometimes you're gay, and sometimes you have a husband. Our hosts are reviewing the character growth of the cast, and the real world expectations of their actions. Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe …
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305 Why Is Patriarchy So Boring?
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Can you be somewhat poly? Jessamyn and Ashe discuss a Deary Queery about opening up to non-monogamy, and the importance of radical honesty in every relationship. This episode mentions Jessica Fern’s Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy Dear Jessamyn is produced by Tenderfire Media Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn…
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304 How Do You Transition From Lover to Friend?
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What are our options in long distance relationships? What are the pros and cons of cohabitation? This week Jessamyn and ashe answer a Deary Queery that unlocks these subsets of dating and relationships. As Venus stations direct and Mercury continues in retrograde, our hosts wonder what the best ways of communicating (and not) with loved ones are. T…
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303 Can I Be Monogamous With A Poly Person?
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Follow up question: have y’all tried couples therapy? While Venus is in retrograde, Jessamyn and ashe talk out their relationship frustrations and revelations since moving to California. This week, our hosts also focus on a Deary Queery: Is it foolish to date someone and fall in love even if their base beliefs are different? Can a monogamous person…
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302 So, Y'all Like Che Diaz?
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Are you a Carrie, Miranda, or Che Diaz? In this week’s Sex and the Titty segment, Jessamyn and ashe discuss the themes and character development within the HBOMax series, And Just Like That. We learn why Jessamyn relates to Big, and why ashe is totally a Carrie. The Astrothought of the Week focuses on the moon in Cancer, and all of the luscious emo…
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301 Do Folx Choose To Be Boxed In?
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Jessamyn and ashe are bringing in season 3 from a brand new location - their new home in California! This week, our hosts talk about adjustments to their lives and relationships since moving from the RV to a "permanent" residence. Your hosts are ashe danger phoenix and Jessamyn Stanley. Our Editor/Producer is Kylee C. Roberts Angell Foster and Nya …
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After 32 episodes of profanity, sex talk, weed smoking, and a bunch of other shit that’s just not for everyone, Dear Jessamyn is starting Season 3 soon! Don't forget that we still want to hear from you! Got thoughts on Sex and the City or The L Word? What’s new in paradise? Any relationship questions you need talking out? Head to dearjessamyn.com/q…
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232 Will You Take Me As I Am?
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Applause if you get the episode title reference! Jessamyn and ashe record from southern California as they continue conversations about the evolution of their relationship within their nomad travels. Adapting to an east coast work schedule from the west coast seems to be working so far; Aaaannd now it's the end of the calendar year, so j+a are call…
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231 How Gay Was Your Yuletide?
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Jessamyn and Ashe are sharing cheer, Sagittarius season vibes and plans for a road trip to Cali. Content warning: Talk of violence and school shootings Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. You can leave us a review on iTunes! Reviews help a lot. Please, if you've enjoyed this episode, even for like half a be…
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230 Wait, Are Y’all Breaking Up?
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Really ringing in the new year over here! Our hosts are back, answering the question: When you add another metamour to the pile, what happens? And most importantly, are they breaking up? Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptio…
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Replay - 104 What the F**k is a Metamour?
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Enjoy this replay episode from April 2020 as we gear up for a new year. If you had your dream metamour situation, what would it be? Sister wives (or sibling spouse, as ashe calls them)? Don't ask, don't tell? Best friends? Brunch at the house? Do you want kids with your triad? Do you want a long-distance boo who has a primary partner? Do you want y…
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229 Should We Do A Shot?
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It’s Dear Jessamyn After Dark AND the last show of the year! Closing out 2021, our hosts talk about their trip to California, and the implications Ashe’s new beau has on their relationship and journey. Features music By DAJANA Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like…
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228 What Do The Holidays Bring Up For You?
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"This show is about something different." As many can relate around the holidays, Jessamyn and Ashe aim to talk about one topic and end up discussing topics that are 'way too f*ckin' far." But in the spirit of this show, it's always about love. This week, our hosts chat about the complicated emotions around being home for the holidays Follow us on …
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227 Where Do Threesomes Fail?
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Has Jessamyn been converted?? What are the aspects of a threesome that make it work? Our hosts discuss their most recent sexual encounter with a third; what did and didn’t make them feel sexy? Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transc…
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226 Did You Say Greedy or Gritty?
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Happy Giving Tuesday!! Jessamyn and Ashe giving YOU an update on What’s Happening in Paradise. As they continue adjusting to camper life, our host are also learning more and more about work-love-balance. This week, Ashe is inviting in backbone, and learning who am I? And what do I stand for? While Jessamyn brings in patience for herself and others …
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225 Who Says You Can't Go Home Again? Pt. 2
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Is home really where the heart is? What’s the spectrum of breaking up? And is Jessamyn warming up to threesomes? In this episode, our hosts continue to analyze their return to Durham. Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions,…
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224 Who Says You Can't Go Home Again? Pt. 1
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As Bon Jovi said, "There's only one place they call me one of their own / Just a hometown boy born a rolling stone." In this part one of two episodes, Jessamyn and Ashe talk about returning to Durham, and their relationship to parental figures in their lives. This episode mentions: The Underbelly When We Are No More: How Digital Memory Is Shaping O…
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Replay - 102 Polyamory is Not For Everybody
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We’re taking a quick break, so enjoy this fan favorite from season 1! "Can you locate the things in yourself that you are holding back because you are scared your partner won't like it?” We’re talking polyamory. Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the sce…
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223 Can You Be Lonely When You’re Not Actually Alone?
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In this What’s New In Paradise? episode, Jessamyn and Ashe talk about boundaries and more things they’ve learned on the road. Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. It's all at dearjes…
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After two months of living in their RV full time, Jessamyn and Ashe’s lives have changed - will they ever comfortably live in a brick and mortar home again?!? Here’s an initial list of things they wish they knew before starting the camper life. This episode mentions: Kathryn Budig Haus of Phoenix Yoga Glow Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and f…
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221 What Happens After Hours?
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They’re taking shots and being honest. Jessamyn and Ashe circle back to discuss how they may have been holding back during the previous episode. Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, transcriptions, how to find us and our team and more. …
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All will be well, all is fine, but do we need drama to keep it interesting? This week during Sex and the Titty, our hosts discuss Carrie's dilemma as she navigates a seemingly perfect relationship. Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, t…
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219 Liquor In The Front
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Jessamyn and Ashe check in from a beautiful motel in Vermont (then on the side of the road) to introduce Liquor in the Front, where they discuss scenes and themes from The (original and new) L Word. Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the scenes content, …
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Hey, they’re new at this! Ashe and Jessamyn are talking about some of their favorite parts of their Virginia visit! As they travel across the U.S., the co-hosts will be acknowledging indigenous land; going over bodies of water, hikes, their trip to the VMFA and run in with TreePD. Episode mentions: We Go High Jessamyn Stanley YouTube Virginia Museu…
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The season of organization and communication is upon us! In the Virgo spirit, Ashe and Jessamyn are getting their footing as creators on the road as they record from Virginia. This week during Astro-Thought of the Week (8:39) the co-hosts discuss how the season has already started to affect them and their Virgo rising placements. This episode menti…
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Replay - 103 Threesome City
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As we take some time to rest, enjoy this very popular episode from season 1. Our Deary Queery is: How can I possibly be okay with my boyfriend wanting a threesome when I'm not interested and I wish he wasn't too? Follow us on Instagram @DearJessamyn and find and follow the show on Spotify. There's a bunch more info on the episode like behind the sc…
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