This season on How's Work?, iconic couples therapist Esther Perel focuses on the hard conversations we're afraid to have in our jobs: Colleagues navigating the new etiquette of a work from home workforce. Newsrooms whose journalists feel that covering breaking news has broken them. A doctor who wants to walk away from his profession, during a pandemic. And lobbyists whose fight for racial equality ends up dividing them. Esther Perel brings a new perspective to the invisible forces that shape ...
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Listen to the incomparable therapist Esther Perel counsel real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door. This season Esther speaks to a constellation of new relationships: A couple wrestling with the guilt they feel over the happiness their infidelity created. Another trying to make space for their queerness in an outwardly appearing hetero relationship. A set of friends trying to sort out if their childho ...
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I've Had 100 Conversations With You In My Head, Part 2
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We first met them three seasons ago in the painful aftermath of an infidelity. She was diagnosed with an STD during a routine visit to her OBGYN, leading to the revelation that her husband had been visiting sex workers. Four years later, they’re still together, but old wounds persist. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adcho…
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Esther Calling - I Need Her to See Me
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27:49
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27:49
In this latest episode of Esther Calling, we meet a young woman looking for advice on how to stand up for herself in a fraught and traumatic relationship with her mother. She worries the trauma and violence she experienced in upbringing is dictating how she responds to authority figures elsewhere in her life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit…
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Esther Calling - Still Single at 40
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27:33
In this episode of Esther Calling, Esther meets a man who’s never been in a relationship for more than five months. As he approaches age 40, he knows the reason lies with him, and not the women he’s dating. Esther encourages him to look back and see if the clues can be found in his early parental relationships. Perhaps the work starts there. Learn …
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We Started As An Affair
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Esther says in this session, “a love story is between two people, a marriage engages an entire community of people.“ Here we see how that plays out when the relationship in question is the result of an affair; when it means the dissolution of two prior marriages and the breaking up families. How does this couple write their own two-person love stor…
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Esther Calling - Stuck In the Middle
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He prides himself on being an empathic confidante to his friends…but is it to a fault? In this episode of Esther Calling, we meet a man fed up with being the container for his friends’ relationship woes. But, he wonders, can I put up barriers without losing the intimacy of those friendships? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.co…
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Esther Calling - I Deserve to Be a Mother
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31:40
She longs for a child, but her partner isn’t there yet, and as a trans woman she already faces other barriers to parenthood. She worries she’s letting her partner’s indecision dictate her own future happiness. She and Esther navigate the delicate dance between exerting her own wishes within the relationship, without letting the pressure shut down t…
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You Want Me to Watch the Kids While You Go Out With Other Men?, Where Are They Now
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When Esther first met with them two years ago, they’d recently opened up the marriage. At the time only she had ventured out, and after a lifetime of feeling her sexuality wasn’t her own, she felt an awakening. But at what expense? Her newfound freedom seemed to result in his misery. This time around, they are both exploring elsewhere, but the subj…
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Esther Calling - Having Needs Doesn't Make You Needy
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He’s in a new relationship and wants it to be exclusive, but he can’t get a read on his partner's feelings. It’s hard for him to have an open honest conversation about his needs without feeling weak, especially when he’s met with silence from her. Esther encourages him to feel confident in his vulnerability and to not mistake having needs for “need…
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My Orgasm Is Not Just For Me
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What starts as a story of sexual incompatibility and a difference in life goals for these two women takes a wildly unexpected turn during this session. Esther finds herself witness to a fantasy ritual unlike anything she’s experienced before in her work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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Twice Married, To Each Other
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They were married, divorced, and then married again. And with four kids between them, tensions run high. They fight about everything: the chores, the cats, who gets to tell who what to do. They come into the session with one story and Esther helps them write an alternate version. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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Esther Calling – Will He Make The Space For Me
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Her new boyfriend’s wife died four years ago. Reminders of her are all over his house, from her clothes in the closet to her photos on the wall. It makes the caller feel uncomfortable and inadequate. She wonders if there’s room in his house — or his heart — for her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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Esther Calling - It's a Matter of Pride
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In another episode of Esther Calling, he worries his desire for a serious relationship is putting women off. But early in their phone call, it becomes clear to Esther that he’s talking about a particular woman from his past. He describes his feelings for that woman as “intense”, whereas she was more ambivalent. Esther and the caller explore the que…
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I Can Be Strong and Be Taken Care Of
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As Esther says, love is at once an affirmation and a transcendence of who we are. But when one partner grows up as the child taking care of his mother is it any surprise that he experiences the romantic needs of his partner as a repeat of that same responsibility rather than an affirmation of love. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastcho…
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I Don't Mean to Be Mean, But...
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She has no boundaries, he’s walled off. And their opposing communication styles cause immediate tension in this explosive session. So much so, that Esther finds herself adding to the chorus of angry voices. There might only be three people in this session, but Esther realizes she needs at least three more chairs for the in-laws whose voices and opi…
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An Intimate Evening with Esther Perel
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You are invited to an intimate evening with Esther Perel. In place of this week's session we gather for a few rounds of Where Should We Begin, A Game of Stories. Over the last year to curtail the loneliness and isolation we all felt, Esther and team created a game out of the questions you often hear her ask on the podcast. So please come play a few…
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Before We Got Together I Identified As Gay
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Before they got together, he identified as straight and they identified as gay. What does it mean to make space for their queer identity while they date a straight man? And is that possible as they move into a more serious phase of their relationship? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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Where Are They Now - A Romantic Revival
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For the first time on the podcast, Esther invites a couple back to her office for a second session. 10 years ago, his first wife took her own life. A year later he met his current wife and she became an overnight stepmother to four children. Three years after they first spoke to Esther, she asks them what has changed? Have they been able to revive …
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Friendship - My Reliable Gift
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In a Where Should We Begin first, Esther sits down with two friends. They’ve been close for so long they feel like brothers, with all of the baggage that comes with family but none of the certainty. There are things that go unspoken between them, issues they have skimmed over in their two decades of friendship. Esther creates the space for the conv…
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Esther Calling - Losing My Best Friend
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In this second episode of Esther Calling, we meet a woman who feels she is losing her best friend. The caller feels that her friend is rushing into a marriage to someone she doesn’t approve of. During the call Esther talks her through a new way to see their relationship and where to go from here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoic…
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Esther Calling - My Partner's Privilege
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This time there is no couch, but instead an unexpected phone call from Esther to a woman who is struggling with the differences between her and her partner's upbringing. He grew up in a comfortable suburb, she grew up having less, much less. She loves her boyfriend but wants to get past the resentment she feels towards the opportunities he’s had. E…
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A new season of Where Should We Begin? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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He Gets the Respect, She Gets the Toilet Paper | How's Work?
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Married for ten years and co-owners for seven, they bring their home dynamic to work with them. Their employees are sick of the fights and the struggles for power and control, and so are they. Meanwhile, she also worries their roles at their gym have been divided along gender lines. This is one of Esther's favorite episodes from How's Work?, her sh…
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If I Quit, What Will People Say? | How's Work?
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He’s a doctor, she works for the government. Her job is one thing on paper, and another thing in secret. He wants to leave his job, but doesn’t know how. When their busy careers come crashing to a halt because of the pandemic, they face a new reality at home. Who gets to be the one to leave a job during uncertain times? And can they rely on their 1…
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We Sell Happiness But We're Miserable
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One is the creative guy, the other runs the business. While their bakery is thriving, their relationship is falling apart. How much of this has to do with the fact that they don't show the same love and attention to one another that they show to their macarons? Esther helps them sort our their romantic selves so they can sort out their business. Le…
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My Promotion Ended Our Friendship
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They were close friends before they started working together. But when one got a surprise promotion, the other began to question her value within the friendship, as well as the organization. To save the friendship, should she leave the job? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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A young artist and her gallerist are exceptionally close. The line between professional and personal relationship often blurs, or disappears altogether. But it's a fragile intimacy, threatened by feelings of jealousy over another rising star in the gallery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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Since I Can't Be Myself, I Try To Be You
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They are identical twins, inseparable since the start of life, now too in business. One brother has dreams of pursuing a career on his own, but is afraid of being left behind. While the other has never realized quite how much he leaned on his twin. Esther helps them rewrite the history of their partnership so they can move forward on a new path. Le…
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Breaking News Has Broken Us
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A large and scattered network of journalists meet for a virtual session with Esther. Over the past year, they've reported on the biggest stories of their careers, but they are burned out, isolated, grieving, and disconnected from the very thing that supports and energizes them all: their newsroom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoi…
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Couples Therapy with My Boss
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From day one, they’ve described their relationship as “tumultuous." One is new to the workforce, the other is new to this particular workplace. One manages the other. And while they like each other on a personal level, they clash over their fundamentally different approaches to getting the job done. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastch…
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Introducing Season 2 of How's Work?
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Today we're sharing the first episode from season 2 of Esther's other podcast, How's Work? In it Esther focuses on the hard conversations we're afraid to have in our jobs, bringing a new perspective to the invisible forces that shape workplace dynamics, connections, and conflict through one-time therapy sessions with coworkers, cofounders, and coll…
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They've been on and off for almost 20 years. While she takes cares of his and their child, she wants to know that he's also there for her. He's been battling depression for years. And the shame that comes with it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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Trapped in Their Own Story
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Their whole relationship is based on one big misunderstanding, with infidelity and blame on both sides. Years later, they still can't see the other's perspective. Programming note: This conversation was recorded after the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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They share a legacy of war, a refugee upbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo, and now they're trying to build a happier relationship for their child. Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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He Loves Her, His Family Rejects Her
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She left her life, her family and her country for a man she met on Reddit. Their love is real, but his family has been hell. Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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Bipolar, infidelity, open relationships: they're stuck in a world of loaded words. Her friends are convinced she should leave, but she doesn't want to follow in her mother's footsteps. Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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It's Very Hard to Live with a Saint
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Barely a year into marriage, they're trapped in a cycle of explosive conflict. She can do no right, and he can do no wrong. Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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In This Relationship What Is "I" and What Is "We"?
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They grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college and immigrated to the U.S. together. They've built stability and security, and now one of them longs for more freedom. Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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What is desire? How do we find it and how do we sustain it? Esther shares some thoughts on the intricacies of this very human emotion. To hear more, listen to Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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The Chronic Philanderer
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He's been cheating on her for years, and she's had enough. Now she wants to know: is he in or is he out? Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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What Would It Take For You to Come Out?
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Four years in she can't admit she's attracted to her girlfriend, and her family still doesn't know. What does it cost people when their relationship is built around a secret? Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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You Want Me To Watch The Kids While You Go Out With Another Guy?
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They met as religious teenagers and married as virgins. It's the age old story — once you're allowed to be intimate, you no longer want to be. Deciding to open the marriage has brought about huge changes in their sex life, and ruptures in their emotional one. Programming note: This conversation was recorded before the COVID-19 lockdown. Learn more …
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A new season of Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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Couples Under Lockdown: Lagos, Nigeria
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Last summer they left everything they'd built in Seattle for a chance at a very different life. He took a dream turn to expand his company and be closer to home; she gave up her nursing job to manage their girls and explore new horizons abroad. COVID-19 hits as they watch the fate of other countries, knowing if it reaches Nigeria with a population …
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Couples Under Lockdown: New York, New York
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They have three kids and their volatile marriage has fallen apart. She still hopes to rebuild. He can't get out of there fast enough. Two weeks before COVID-19 forced New Yorkers to shelter in place, they filed for divorce. Now they feel trapped. If he goes he risks not seeing his kids for weeks. If he stays he worries it will thwart his plans to f…
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Couples Under Lockdown: Bavaria, Germany
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For the last year they have lived in separate countries. She took a dream job closer to where she grew up in Germany and he stayed behind with the promise he would follow soon. Six months turned into a year, which turned into a conversation that questioned the foundation of their marriage. It took the coronavirus to get them back under one roof aga…
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Couples Under Lockdown: Sicily, Italy
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They left each other emotionally years ago, but with three kids they have been trying to keep it together. For the last two weeks they find themselves confined to a small apartment in Sicily, Italy — he bears the brunt of the domestic duties at home all day. She must report to the hospital every day to help usher in new life as a midwife. Esther he…
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Introducing Heavyweight
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Buzz and Sheldon are brothers in their eighties who have been estranged for decades. Buzz visits Sheldon to see if there’s still a relationship left to salvage. Listen to more episodes of Heavyweight on Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices…
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They’re a divorced couple whose two-household relationship may prove that a happy family doesn’t have to end with divorce. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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Introducing Esther's New Podcast: How's Work?
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Today we’re sharing the first episode of Esther Perel’s new show How’s Work? In it, Esther sits down with coworkers, cofounders and colleagues, and brings her inimitable perspective to workplace relationships and conflicts. Available only on Spotify. Listen to and follow How's Work on Spotify. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.…
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They’re a child desperate to connect with their single mother after 28 years of living in the shadow of a special-needs brother. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoicesVon Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet
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