STOP Demonizing Your Team! The SECRET to Seeing Their TRUE Potential

The Self Aware Leader with Jason Rigby

The Dichotomy of Leadership: Embracing Complexity for Authentic Impact

As leaders, we are frequently taught to be decisive and project certainty. But the world, and the people we lead, are rarely black and white. Truly impactful leadership demands embracing the contradictory, the complex, and finding power in the uncomfortable "grey spaces." Teal Swan's thought-provoking exploration of dichotomy offers a powerful lens to re-examine how we lead, and how we see ourselves.

The Discomfort of "And"

Our brains crave simplicity. We want easy answers, neat narratives. Witnessing good and bad traits coexisting in a person – whether it's someone we manage, a public figure, or even ourselves – creates a cognitive dissonance most of us struggle to tolerate. This leads to:

• Demonizing or Glorifying: Biased narratives and all-or-nothing thinking warp our understanding of those we lead, undermining balanced judgment.

• Splitting: We compartmentalize, seeing team members as "all good" or "all bad" (and ourselves too!). This fuels inconsistent reactions and erodes trust.

• Lost Opportunities: When we can't tolerate nuance, we may miss out on the growth potential held within challenges and flaws.

Expanding Your Leadership Capacity: Becoming the Container

Teal Swan coins the term "And Consciousness" – the ability to hold opposing truths simultaneously. For a leader, this is transformative:

1. Beyond Judgment: By holding both good AND bad aspects of a person or situation, we lessen knee-jerk reactions and make more informed choices.

2. Seeing the Whole: This broader perspective helps us see potential blind spots in individuals and ourselves, fostering better long-term strategies.

3. Nurturing Growth: Understanding complexity allows space for people (including ourselves) to evolve, without feeling defined by past mistakes.

How to Become a Leader Who Holds Dichotomy:

• Question Your Assumptions: When you find yourself categorizing someone (or yourself) as "always" or "never," pause. Seek out information that challenges your current view.

• Explore the Root of 'Extremes': If you're stuck seeing someone as perfect or monstrous, ask yourself: how does this belief serve me? Am I avoiding something uncomfortable?

• Check Your Nervous System: All-or-nothing thinking spikes when we're stressed. Practice calming techniques to access a more objective mindset.

• Embrace the 'In-Between': Leadership isn't just about having all the answers. Model comfort with "I'm not sure yet," and invite your team to explore the nuance alongside you.

The Challenge of Authentic Leadership

It's important to note: This isn't about condoning harmful behavior or ignoring red flags. But it IS about becoming a leader who understands that people are messy, teams have rough patches, and even your own best intentions sometimes have unforeseen consequences.

Holding dichotomy means embracing the uncomfortable truth that great strengths can co-exist with deep flaws... even within ourselves. That's where transformative leadership begins.

Further Exploration:

• Teal Swan's video "And Consciousness" offers more depth on this concept. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27Tl8KIj6Xg]

• Blog Post https://tealswan.com/resources/articles/dichotomy/

Share your thoughts! How do you approach holding seemingly contradictory aspects of your team members, yourself, or leadership situations?