13 April 2015

Radio Ravenclaw

You’re listening to WWRVN, Radio Ravenclaw.

You’ve tuned in to The Fresh Pot of Coffee!

It’s Laundry Day, folks. That’s right, just flick and swish your wand in the general direction of your wardrobe with a soft Tergeo and then it’s time to get the binoculars. Watching the Muggles wrestle with huge baskets of wet clothing baffles me every time. They hang them out, then it rains, then they take them in and hang them upinside their houses…

We’d like to note that the after-full moon was not enough to wash out Arcturus last night - that kingly little star just kept shining past the moonglow!

Today’s debate, folks - if you convert wooly fluff to yarn, does that technically add to your stash in a stashdown? Discuss!

Some members of the station staff believe that heating season is over. This member of the station staff does not. Amusement is thin on the ground.

In a recent interview, Cornelius Fudge, former Minister of Magic, revealed that he waits until our broadcast before making his own literal Fresh Pot of Coffee. He says that the sympathetic magic of our powerful signal boosts the caffeine in his double-mocha.

The Fresh Pot of Coffee is sponsored on Wednesdays by Weasleys’ Wizarding Wheezes - whether your wakenings are wailsome or wacky, our winsome wares will work out the wants of your workshop. We whizz the werewolf’s whiskers and wow the wildest widgeons! So wax their waffles, wobble their woolies, work up a list of wishes and wants, witches and wizards, and wander to Weaselys’ Wizarding Wheezes. Wednesday is WibblyWobbly Day - 10% discount to all patrons wearing a fez!

Now some music to get you through the morning - a new non-human duo making their coffee house debut anywhere that can accommodate juvenile dragons…

They’re Mifwyte and Deedlebops!

I’m Gazebo Gal

and you’re listening to Radio Ravenclaw on the Wizarding Wireless Network.

The “does spinning contribute to or remove from stash?” debate rages on. KayPendragon posits that as long as the fluff is being used for its intended purpose, it is not increasing stash. TiggerishJen feels that spinning is simply an intermediate step on the way to ultimate stash removal. AnnieCC points out that undyed stash has triple the points-earning potential of yarn. Way to think smarter Annie!

Oh, you’re all talking about spinning fluff into yarn? Martin Freeman thought you were asking about who had a winning ruff. Well. That’s very different. He’s going to go change, brb.

Thank you for your attention. This has been your daily Break Month Levity with Martin Freeman, I’m Cyprienne.

Nightwatching, movie still

It is time once more for The Fresh Pot of Coffee!

Here’s my personal note to all of y’all: when you’re hiding out in the Muggle world, you have to push the button on the coffee maker. Today’s lesson. Yes indeed.

Also, an alert for the pen enthusiasts and Narwhals - there is a Narwhal Pen. Skip back to post 33749 in the Common Room.

Sock Update: k1, p1, k1, p1, k1…

Thursday is Horoscope Day!

Octopodes (10+) - the stars say that this is a fabulous week to do that experiment with insects in your fridge.

Neon Tetras (20+) - Alert! there is an important piece of paperwork which you forgot about! It is on your desk, but it got wedged under something over on the right-hand side. The stars are pretty insistent about this, so go clean the desk.

Lions (25+) - It is exactly the right time to try that designer thing you were thinking about. Was it tea? Shoes? A new knitting pattern? Write back to us here at the station and let us know! Also, Sound Technician Sgiobalta has turned four, which is twenty eight in dog years, and she would like to show you all her zebra toy, in solidarity with her Lion-birthday sisters.

Fancy Goldfish (30+) - Driving is on the dangerous side for you this weekend. The augury suggests stocking up on comfort food tonight, get home from work early Friday, and spend the weekend sorting your stash - you will find a surprise in there! if you do have to go out, public transit will be fine, so just hail the Knight Bus.

Narwhals (40+) - if you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs… seriously, narwhals, you have earned a nice treat this week. Whether it’s a narwhal pen, your favorite place for dinner, or a quiet hour with headphones and your journal, please tell your subconscious “job well done.”

Capybaras (50+) - The tea-leaves predict a sudden relocation to South Carolina. Probably temporary, so don’t put down your wand.

Cougars (55+) - out into the garden this weekend! It needs you!

Peacocks (60+) - They will be idiots again at 15:23 local time today. Be there with The Look. They will wonder how you always seem to know ahead of time. It will be our little secret.

Dragons (80+) - your special order will arrive before tea-time today, ma’am.

The Fresh Pot of Coffee is seeking a Thursday sponsor - if your business would like exposure on the most popular feature on magical radio today, reply here!

It’s time this morning for our Bill-Paying playlist, so let’s enjoy one of the mellowest Muggles out there -

He’s Jimmy Buffet,

I’m GazeboGal,

and you’re listening to Radio Ravenclaw on the Wizarding Wireless Network!