Mermaid deer mask painting: artwork statement

Arts House Listening Program

(Mermaid deer mask painting): Don’t look at my mystical mermaid deer winged body. I’m totally a regular norm-core human, that masks real good. --- Masking is a terminology for hiding or suppressing one’s attributes. Many autistic people develop this skill in response to discrimination. It can be hard to know what you want, if you’re pretending your needs don’t matter. It’s really hard to know when to mask. It’s still occasionally important for reasons of safety for me to repress my needs to stim and regulate freely because sometimes I rely on ableist strangers, ableist doctors, and the occasional ableism from people trying to help me. Sometimes I find myself smiling and gritting my teeth as people slow their speech for me. Sometimes I have to keep quiet when I hear agencies talk about exploitation, theft and violence that could have left people in my communities to die. When I get into a safe place I make all the noises, hand gestures, bird-like arm flaps and jumps that I need to feel better and understand my body in space. When I mask with people, I get more tired and have more meltdowns. Prue Stevenson says, “We should listen to our meltdowns, they’re wise.” I agree with them. I don’t always know, but my meltdowns know. When I realise I am safe, masking becomes silly. When I mask I often talk overly formally, just like how my grandmother was taught in finishing school in the 1930s. I potentially don’t pass as ‘norm-core’ as I feel I do. Concept & Artwork: Mishka