Ep. 178 (Best Of) Wishing People Were Different

Confidence Coaching with Heidi Benjaminsen

Summary

• • In this episode, I discuss the tendency common to everying - wishing others were different from who they are. It's something I've noticed in the people I coach, and it's a struggle I've faced in my own relationships with family and friends.
  • Throughout the episode, I explore how these wishes create barriers between us and the people we care about, hindering our ability to truly understand and appreciate them.
  • I challenge the notion that others need to change for us to feel differently, emphasizing the power of changing our own thoughts to shape our emotions.
  • I provide listeners with practical tools to dismantle these barriers and foster deeper connections with others.

• Examples:

  • I share examples of common wishes, such as wanting a partner to be more handy around the house or wishing for more frequent communication from a parent.
  • I discuss the challenges of accepting children for who they are, including desires for them to be more outgoing or neurotypical.
  • And more!

• Lessons Learned:

  • I encourage listeners to examine their beliefs about why certain traits are perceived as better than others.
  • I emphasize that our emotions are shaped by our thoughts, not by the actions of others.
  • I urge listeners to embrace discomfort and take responsibility for their own emotions rather than expecting others to change.
  • I highlight the importance of recognizing and appreciating both strengths and weaknesses in ourselves and others.
  • I advocate for a focus on personal growth while simultaneously accepting and loving others for who they are.