Navigating Tough Conversations: How Autism Moms Can Set Boundaries with Grace

Thriving Moms of Autistics

Hi Moms! I’m developing my new course right now that will be coming out this Fall 2024. So, that’s just around the corner.

The past couple of weeks, I have been working on the self-care and setting boundaries modules.

Wouldn’t you know that many incidents have popped up related to setting firm boundaries.

I wondered if this is more common than I think, but now that I am better at setting those boundaries I just don't realize it as much.

That’s the goal, right? When you are better at something, it is less overwhelming.

I suspect that it is a combination of that and working on the actual module, but one of the issues was pretty serious.

In this episode, we explore how issues pop up often that require us to set firm boundaries for self-care so that we can have some peace in our autism journey whether it is related to autism or life in general.

Find the full transcript for this episode at https://thrivingmomsofautistics.com/95

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Navigating Stress Well is Critical for an Autism Mom’s Well-Bing

Let’s walk through a few statements to assess where you are with setting boundaries.

First, I want to say… be honest. What you are feeling is very real and it’s more common than you think.

Give yourself permission to be real because only then can you meet yourself where you are at and move forward.

1. When someone crosses the line, I immediately get defensive.
2. I avoid issues that are stressful because I feel I don’t have enough energy to give it.
3. I don’t feel strong enough to deal with issues because I have to focus on my child.

Remember, we all start out somewhere, but that doesn’t have to be our destination.

You might even handle these things well, but it creeps up on you at some point and you don’t.

That is normal too. We are human beings. These episodes serve as reminders of these things from time to time and aim to support you.

Let’s break down these statements.

Statement number one reminds us that we are human. You might get defensive now, but with practice, you can let it marinate and calm yourself before you deal with the problem.

It feels good to give a piece of your mind in the moment, but it is not helpful in the long term.

Statement 2 explores what happens when you are tired and exhausted. Moms of autistics feel this on a deep level.

When you stop and engage in self care in that moment to calm yourself and prepare for what comes next, you don’t have to avoid it and can deal with it.

I’m going to teach techniques in my course. Your well-being comes first. Also, your doing so is action and not avoidance.

Statement 3 reminds us of who we are. You are a mom raising an autistic child. It’s hard at times, but you are still standing.

DO NOT sell yourself short. Many moms hate when someone calls them strong. They say, “I don’t have a choice.”

Everyone has a choice. You choose to keep going when it is difficult. And as lonely as it feels, you are not alone. That is a whole other episode.

What Can Autism Moms Do When Someone Crosses the Line?

A while back, I encountered someone who clearly did not understand autism. Sometimes, that feels like a regular Tuesday, doesn’t it?

He is someone who is in the public and does some really important wor