Messy feelings and mediation with Beccie D'Cunha

The Happy Startup School

Learning about Non-Violent Communication has been a game changer for me. As a child I’d always struggled to deal with difficult emotions and so would either lash out in anger or, what was more often the case, would cry with frustration. I learned that expressing emotions was weak and so I decided to suppress them. However, in doing so I limited the development of my own emotional vocabulary and the ability to practice empathy. This was ironic since I had a deep need for connection and community. In a world that feels ever more divisive and disconnected the ability to practice deep empathy is fundamentally important. In this conversation with Beccie D’Cuhna, Happy Startup community member and professional mediator, we talk about the importance of empathy when helping others navigate periods of conflict and change. We discuss the difference between empathy and sympathy and how when we judge and try to fix other people’s emotions we end up invalidating their experience. We then lose the opportunity for deep connection and make it harder for them to process what they’re feeling and move forward with clarity. Sometimes we just need to sit in that turbulent space and feel what needs to be felt without judgement or resistance. This takes practice and requires us to learn more about why we feel what we feel.