9. Accepting our family size and letting go of a fantasy

One and Done: Raising an Only Child, Not a Lonely Child

"When single child families idealize what they don't have: how the fantasy of larger families can poison our happiness and development" by Lauren Sandler arrived right on time for Jamie, who was struggling with intrusive thoughts about the second child that isn't here. This episode is the journey to get closer to being more fully present with the child who is here, moving from the "bargaining" stage of grief into a genuine and deeper acceptance of the reality and the gifts of being a single child family. Links and show notes with time stamps are below.

Link to the article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/one-and-only/201302/when-single-child-families-idealize-what-they-dont-have?amp

Send us a voicemail about being/having an only child! https://anchor.fm/oneanddone/message

E-mail us your thoughts at [e-mail].

You're welcome to join the Facebook group One and Done: Raising an Only Child, Not a Lonely Child.

Until [5:10] or is is about the future direction of the show and an invitation to get involved/give feedback. We're also looking especially for folks who are one and done by choice and/or very content with their family size. Basically as many different voices and experiences as possible would be great/help all of us get perspective. [5:10:30] Jamie realizes she's actually been in the "bargaining" stage of grief and will share the recent insights that helped her move more toward acceptance. [7:40] story of being at the beach this weekend, missing phantom children and wanting to be present and enjoy the child we have. Acknowledging that those feelings are real but wanting to be in reality in the moment. [10:10] moving into a discussion of Lauren Sandler (only child with an only child) and her article which helped Jamie so much, giving permission to let go of the fantasy. We do this on our own time table and the process is different for everyone. [14:40] How being an only child can be a good and helpful thing to one's development, from lived experience.