Ep136 Difficult Conversations, with Lisa McInnes-Smith

Manage Self, Lead Others: Emotional Intelligence and Leadership for Managers

How do we deal with conflict? How do we build trust? How do we get rid of dysfunctional behaviors in a team? How do we build a sense of unity and community when the company works in silos?

Here's the link to the video version on YouTube:

https://youtu.be/uRfmpAd8cW8

Ask yourselves, "Is it them, or is it how we're feeding them the information? Do they feel like they're not trusted? Are our expectations not clear?"

You can say to them, "These are the expectations that we had of you when you came into this position. This is what we're observing. Can you explain to me why you agreed to these behaviors but now are not demonstrating them in this environment?"

TALKING POINTS

[5:31] You can't trust people you don't know and if you don't know them and know the way they work, the way they think, then you can't work well together. Teaching people how to build trust is an initial thing.

[7:05] It's not the person, it's just something they've got into the habit of doing and maybe they need to get out of that habit.

[9.30] We all have bad habits, but there's one right now that's driving us crazy and we need to talk about it.

[15:42] You can have a third person in the conversation, an observer who doesn't participate. And when we're going to talk about something that's really tough, hen it might be good to have somebody there witnessing it.

[18:19] I'm trying to build better people, I'm trying to build better teams and I'm trying to teach leaders how to build those teams by having the conversations that need to be had without people feeling like they're being demeaned or disrespected.

[19:00] It's really good to turn up at a meeting where there's a chance of conflict with your notepad and things that you need to say. And when they say, “These are some of my reasons”, then you write them down. Say, “So let me just capture that.”

[20:00] What sort of biases should someone self-reflect to check if they’re operating under a false bias?

[22:44] Finding team players versus kingdom builders.

[23:00} Find colleagues who can coach each other. The wisdom we need is usually already in the organization. We just don't know each other well enough to be able to trust each other with our problems.  

ABOUT LISA McINNES-SMITH

Lisa McInnes-Smith is in the top echelon of corporate speakers, having presented live to more than 2½ million people across 30 countries.

The first Australian inducted into the International Speaker Hall of Fame, Lisa is a TEDx Melbourne speaker. Her presentation is called “Winning Words: the phrases that pay”.

CONTACT:

Website: https://www.lisaspeaks.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisaspeaks/

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