Episode 51 - Review and Summary of Give and Take by Adam Grant

Booked Morning Podcast

Early on in our lives and in school, we have been taught that to succeed, we must be competitive against others. On our journey to achieving our goals in life, we often come across individuals who seem to only care about themselves. Wether it may be family, friends, coworkers, bosses or even employees, there are those who completely brush off the needs of those around them. They seem to only care about money, status and being admired by others. They often promote themselves and focus on “I” rather than “WE”. We all know that to really succeed, it takes interacting with others. We all know the power of Reciprocity, Gary Vaynerchuk, built his wine empire into a 60 million dollar business by helping people. But there are different reciprocity styles that we employ in our careers or businesses, Adam found that most of us operate as givers, matchers or takers. Let us First learn a quick Breakdown Of Adam's 3 reciprocity styles 1.Takers They are those who focus on getting more for them than they give. Their taking mindsets either makes them uber careful so they don't get taken advantage of or cut through so they can get as much as possible from others by any means necessary. They say “If I don’t look out for myself, no one else will.” 2.Matchers Are those who believe in quid pro quo. They operate on the principle of fairness. When they do favors, they expect a favor of equal value later on. On the receiving end, they feel indebted to those who did them good. They say “I’ll do it if I’m pretty sure I will get something in return.” 3.Givers Are those who are "other-focused." They don't weigh the pros and cons of others. Instead, they give without keeping score. Simply put, givers seek to enrich the lives of the people they interact with. As Grant writes, "If you're a giver [...] you simply strive to be generous in sharing your time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas, and connections with other people who can benefit from them." They believe “I’m happy to share my time and energy with those who can benefit.” Allow me to leave you with this final thought. Lets remember that People fit into one of three reciprocity styles. Givers like to give more than they get, paying attention to what others need. Takers like to get more than they give, seeing the world as a competitive place and primarily looking out for themselves. And matchers balance and give on a quid pro quo basis, willing to exchange favors but careful about not being exploited. - adopt a giving attitude. If this isn’t your natural orientation, start with small giving behaviors to people you care about. - ask in every interaction, how can I help you? - make your giving reputation known – this will increase reception by people approaching you, no matter which of 3 stances they belong to. - to avoid burnout from giving, make the impact of people’s work tangible – create customer videos, publicize testimonials and results. - Five-minute favor: if you can help someone within 5 minutes, do so. Give honest feedback and make introductions. - giving is contagious - by becoming a Giver, you slowly infuse others with the same collaborative, sharing values. This translates to a lot more for everyone in the long run.