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Our TFMR Stories

Sabrina Fletcher, Pregnancy Loss Doula

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Pregnancy loss support and connection in the heartbreak of terminating a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons (TFMR). Interviews with real TFMR parents & grief support and stories from professionals, released bi-monthly. To join our support community go to: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup.html
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In this episode you’ll hear about 3 big hurtful myths/misconceptions about TFMR & how we can take healing into our own hands in the face of so much misunderstanding about our heartbreaking choices. 00:00-Intro 01:56-Myth 1, looking for a perfect pregnancy 04:59-Myth 2, taking the easy way out 14:24-Myth 3, it's just an abortion or it's not really a…
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Tenae Bascherini, pelvic floor and core specialist, shares about the layers of emotional and physical recovery after TFMR. She went through termination for medical reasons herself with her son Kaleo, in the second trimester of pregnancy. We talk about some surprising and seemingly “unrelated to the pelvis” areas of the body where a pelvic floor imb…
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After Ali Emerald lost her baby Paris to TFMR for maternal reasons, she went on to become a somatic embodiment coach to help herself and others work through trauma and grief. Ali’s pregnancy set in motion conditions that led her to need an organ transplant. In this episode we talk about the intersection between disability rights and reproductive ju…
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Erica Rozmid, board certified behavioral psychologist and perinatal mental health certified, also known as TFMR Psychologist on her platforms, shares doable tips for when you are in mental health crisis after TFMR. The skills she generously relays in this episode are just a piece of what she's putting together in a mental health course for those wh…
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Today we have Dr. E Goldblatt Hyatt on the podcast with us. They are an associate professor at Rutgers University in New Jersey. Dr. Goldblatt Hyatt is also a private practice clinician focusing on baby loss and TFMR. We'll be talking about their research on TFMR and queer family making. ... Today's episode is sponsored by: "A way through After TFM…
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“How will I know when I’m ready to share my TFMR story and where and how should I share it?” We go into when and how and where you could decide to tell or NOT tell your story of ending your precious pregnancy for health reasons in this episode. SPONSORED BY THE TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM, ASCEND: If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group g…
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Riata shares her story of her baby Riana and the diagnosis of Tetralogy of Fallot and Atrioventricular septal defect (AVSD, a heart defect) and T21. Riata was 29 at the time of this first pregnancy. She had to travel for care, due to living in a very rural part of Wyoming. Riata wishes to share her story to remind those opposed to abortion that abo…
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Carmen Grover is mom to 11 babies, 4 earthside and 7 in her heart. These are their names in order: Amity, Will, Kaia, Baby G, Case, Maelie, Butterfly Baby, Jude, Aida, Zach, and Charlotte. She is the author of A Diary to My Babies and the journal companion to that grief memoir, A Diary to Our Babies. Two of her losses have been to TFMR and she's co…
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When TFMR is for YOUR health, also called Termination for Maternal Health or Termination for the Pregnant Person’s Health, it can bring an extra layer of survivor’s guilt. Marie-Laure shares how she lost her baby Juliette to early onset preeclampsia with severe features and IUGR (intrauterine growth restriction). Her symptoms became more pronounced…
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Samantha is a TFMR mom who lost her second daughter to anencephaly at 17 weeks pregnant. She came on today to share how this great loss has shifted her relationships and beliefs. Resources mentioned: 1. ASCEND TFMR Grief Circle - If you are a bereaved TFMR parent looking for group grief support, I invite you to check out our upcoming grief circles …
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Ale Muñoz, co-author and editor of TFMR story anthology “Flowers in Our Womb” shares the inspiration behind this book and why sharing your own story of TFMR pregnancy loss can be so transformative. Find Flowers in Our Womb on Amazon in Kindle (e-book), paperback, and hardcover https://a.co/d/5jAa5eF Resources mentioned: 1.“Releasing a Wanted Pregna…
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Alissa shares how she got a “grey” diagnosis (a term for a condition that could be survivable through fatal, on a spectrum of outcomes) for her baby in her second trimester which led to a decision to end her wanted pregnancy. As a postpartum and high-risk NICU and PICU healthcare worker herself, she felt that her prior knowledge and vicarious lived…
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Becky shares her story of IVF and embryo loss followed by TFMR for Down’s Syndrome. After all the fertility challenges, she was able to get pregnant again with what is currently a healthy pregnancy. Listen in to her journey through pregnancy after TFMR and how she lives with grief and hope at the same time. Resources mentioned: The TFMR Support Cir…
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Jenn Hepton, parenting coach and founder of Motherhood Redefined + Loss in Transition shares her story of losing twins to TFMR, her other fertility and miscarriage losses and stillbirth of baby Loey. Even through all these tragic losses, Jenn shares light and healing through EFT, the "T.I.M.E. technique" and hypnobreathwork - practices she has used…
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Liz tells her story of receiving an Edward's Syndrome (also known as T18) diagnosis and coming up against restrictive abortion laws and little understanding in the abortion space for her pregnancy loss. She also shares her experience with grieving during a time of massive loss with the Palestinian genocide. Resources mentioned: The TFMR Support Cir…
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Robin Imholte, a TFMR mom and mom to a rainbow baby born after loss, tells her story of her baby's giant omphalocele diagnosis, a condition where organs are developing (or very poorly developing) outside of the body cavity. She shares her struggle with TTC (trying to conceive) after the death of her baby Ellie. Resources mentioned: The TFMR Support…
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Sex and intimacy after a traumatic baby loss/pregnancy loss can be HARD, and can create opportunities for healing. Kate Carson, baby loss coach, shares FIVE impediments to intimacy after TFMR pregnancy loss and some beautiful tools and practices to gently come back into your body and sensuality. Resources mentioned: 1st Program opportunity! Join Ka…
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Are you isolating in the grief of TFMR pregnancy loss? Listen to hear about 3 reasons WHY you may be isolating and how to care for yourself in this isolating experience. Resources mentioned: Learn more and apply to join the upcoming TFMR grief circle program Ascend here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply My free Facebook group for terminati…
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Grief can be especially hard around the holidays and through the new year with expectations to be "joyful" and "cheerful." In this episode I answer questions from other TFMR parents in the community about getting through the holidays. You'll hear 4 main tips PLUS an explanation of "Grieving in 4D." This episode was originally recorded as a live vid…
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After losing one baby early into a twin pregnancy, Lia then received a poor prenatal diagnosis of T21 (Down Syndrome) with her surviving twin. She recounts how she made memories and connections even in the hardest time between diagnosis and decision and ending her wanted pregnancy. And to join our upcoming TFMR support group program, Ascend apply h…
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On letting others be wrong about you. Important in the grief of a termination pregnancy loss. Listen in to hear how this one practice has helped my grief as a TFMR mom. And you are invited to join us in our upcoming TFMR Grief Circle program, Ascend. Learn more and apply here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply And come and join us in the fr…
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Resources mentioned: My free Facebook group for termination for medical reasons (TFMR) parents which you can apply to join here: Resources for TFMR ***** TFMR Support Sanctuary ***** And if you would like to share *your* TFMR Story on "Our TFMR Stories," email me here to find out more: sabrina at theTFMRdoula dot com Music clip: Pamgaea by Kevin Ma…
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This episode is for people in the awful limboland between a poor prenatal diagnosis and their termination. You may be wondering, "Which termination procedure should I choose?" Guest expert, author and baby loss family advisor trained, Sherokee Ilse, gives insight into how to decide between D&E (surgical) and L&D (labor/medical) termination AND how …
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Kate, a TFMR mom and mom to two living kids, tells her story of her baby's holoprosencephaly diagnosis, a brain abnormality. She shares her mental health story around the death of her baby and then a subsequent pregnancy (sub-pregnancy) after loss, and the trauma of a prolonged hospitalization/NICU stay in said sub-pregnancy. Resources mentioned: M…
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Before I became a Pregnancy Loss Doula, I went through TFMR myself. My baby had ies. This is my story of my 2nd pregnancy that ended in my baby dying from a termination for medical reasons due to hydrops, cystic hygroma and other anomalies. I also share some ways I began to heal the trauma afterwards. Resources mentioned: My free Facebook group for…
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