Hints of ethically ambiguous conversation, sexually charged giggling, and fresh strawberries.
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One final time before we're back recording episodes again, comes an important message from the lizard queen herself.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A important message for the piglets who value continuity and transparency. This one is for all of The Woke Little Piglets out there, which coincidentally was also the name of my old workplace Muppets cover band. That's a lie, I actually used to have a Muppets covers band - we were called the Most Sensational Inspirational Cover Band - and we never …
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1
I Wanna Be Cut in the Sunshine
42:01
42:01
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42:01A thirst-quencher for a modern age; Unapologetic, Unhinged, and Unpasteurised. To be consumed covertly in broad daylight.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A holy vintage - consecrated and desecrated twice each before breakfast. Get your thuribles out, and make sure their bases are flared.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A drink made of winegrapes with a scoville rating. This is the sort of energy your great uncle - the one that the rest of the family doesn't speak to - would be bringing to the universe, if he had started a podcast.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Tell Mummy You're A Parasite
42:38
42:38
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42:38Let old acquaintance be forgot, and never come to mind. Let old acquaintance be forgot and be a good little parasite for mummy.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A Rare and Seasonal Message from your Loving, Corporate Emperors!Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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Tinsel up your extremities and Irish up your nogs, its time for you to take it down the chimney - Christmas Style!* *This episode contains a very small amount of Christmas references, or references to related holidays. Rejoice! Special Guest - Mako Plainsong NOTE: If you heard the original edit of this episode (entitled 'The Winter Gimp') send proo…
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1
You're Lucky I Didn't Bring My Girlfriend
54:27
54:27
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54:27An upsetting and fine dining experience.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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Sit back, pour yourself a cool glass of PISSMILK, by Multigold, and contemplate the decisions that led you here, to this moment. That's what I'm currently doing and its very refreshing.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A simple yet elegant summer drop, best consumed with one hand on the glass and the other partially inserted inside your favourite public figure. "The left thumb must always know what the right thumb is doing." Baby JesusVon Mum’s Friend Energy
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A very special occasion - time to dust off that old bottle of Penfolds, lay down some Egyptian cotton on a designer lawn, watch the sun go down and contemplate a 'would-you-rather?' about hydrochloric acid or the cum of a fuckboy.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
An Uncomfortable Amount of Roy Orbison
58:50
58:50
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58:50Decant your favourite pinot, pop this episode on, and let the air hit the red with the energy of Mike Tyson interacting with pigeons, or a freshly spooned Jeff Buckley swimming safely.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A bottle of drinkable wine, to be enjoyed while reading the episode description of an obscure but glorious podcast. This episode is good, listen to it. I'm going to bed.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
A Fisting in the Forest
48:47
48:47
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48:47A frosted cherry atop a sundae, on a sunday. A perfect extra detail to round off a classic, weekend adventure - such as a trip to a desert island with your favourite childrens-tv-entertainer, or a liesurely nature hike to your nearest sex cave.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
I'd Prefer A Tick To A Man
33:58
33:58
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33:58A quick drink between locations, to be enjoyed alongside a brief liminal state - such as standing in front of a fridge eating a pickle dipped in hommous, or dealing with the gastronomical aftermath of a cannibalistic brunch.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A prideful display of power, punctuated by sporadic pockets of Politics, Polyamory and Turbo Purring.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
The Skulls Are Always Watching
40:47
40:47
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40:47An artisanal quench, drawn from the finest grapes. To be enjoyed alongside a high stakes parlor game with friends, or a solitary weep on a hillside covered in used nangs and broken promises.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
I Didn't Kill Him the Crocodile Did
46:03
46:03
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46:03An episode officially endorsed by long-time supporter and now corporate sponsor of the show - Multigold.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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Peppery notes and an acidic aftertaste. Best sipped casually with a mix of raw almonds and roasted Samwise.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
I Don't Want to Talk to Peen
49:27
49:27
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49:27A dry, sarcastic flavour. A rich accompaniment to a violent, personal act, such as scraping yourself bare across concrete, or spending time with family.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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You don't have to go home but you can't stay here (Actually you can really, I have no agency over you, I am a narrative voice that only exists in these episode descriptions, I have no hands to hold, or mouth with which to scream). See you next week *blows a little kiss*Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
This is Probably the Clit
1:02:27
1:02:27
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1:02:27A bottle you only pull out on very special occasions, to be shared with your favourite person who also only pulls out on very special occasions.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
And That's How the Orgy Started
48:06
48:06
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48:06A full-bodied burgundy, heavily acidic, with a grainy texture. This episode was sponsored by Sophie's Holes; a Non-fungible product brought to you by Multigold.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Brolectuals and Mantellect
49:38
49:38
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49:38A spiritual experience, rich with inspiring visions of bespoke ballbags, cushion farts, and merchandising.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A rare, smoky vintage - Swirling with an aromatic mist that may evoke feelings of irrational mirth & feverish horniness.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
The Blood of my Enemies
50:02
50:02
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50:02An exciting cocktail for a very special occasion. Aesthetic layers of child violence, cosmic buttholes and limoncello.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Hairs, Holes, Nugs & Streaks
47:36
47:36
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47:36A perfect, nostalgic accompaniment to either a family luncheon, a day at the races with friends, or an intimate picnic with a deranged sado-masochist.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
I Refuse to Eat the Poop Bruschetta
37:04
37:04
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37:04To be paired with a day out in a Farm to Fork setting - rich with organic herbs & ecologically friendly waste solutions.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Eight Bucks and a Sandwich
40:35
40:35
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40:35A dessert wine for a windown. Sleepy notes of roundhouse kicks, rizz kings, and reverse cowgirl.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Rhythmical Missionary While Saying Milk
56:37
56:37
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56:37A coat-pocket temperature burgundy, best consumed slowly while lost in the wilderness. The sort of drop you savour just in case you don't make it back to civilisation for a while. May contain traces of fragrant mnut & raspberry paloosh.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Smoked Any Meats Lately?
47:54
47:54
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47:54A modern, spicy white, with infusions of smoked meat, car theft and boba.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Being a Pisswreck and Dating Losers
40:39
40:39
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40:39A subtler vintage, best consumed on a plane with a problematic paramour, or banefully amid a forest with a magical salesperson.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Ed Kowalczyk's Duck-Greased Head
30:44
30:44
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30:44A bargain bin vintage - The best named product in the bottleshop, at the lowest price point legally available. An excess of dehydration, country and mid.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A traditional Italian breakfast spread of Limoncello, Cuckold peace offerings and so, so many eggs.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Gripping the Floor and Making Shapes
43:36
43:36
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43:36A bright and crispy vintage, finished with an aftertaste of bullying children, making christian rockstars uncomfortable, and pegging.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Angus Stone Smells Like Play-Doh
43:31
43:31
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43:31A soft and approachable aroma, luscious notes of line crossing, untrustworthy farts and straight people.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A special blend of the freshest of flavours, a pleasing combination of hereditary kinks, 90's sex education and hurting people's feelings.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A sultry drop, with flavourful overtones of uncomfortable workplace behaviour, creepy family members, and kiwi fruit.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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Floral notes, best consumed at room temperature accompanying a hearty meal of self-reflection and geronticide.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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A bold and saturated flavour, with a strong expressive aftertaste of lava, poor choices, and fresh, organic chicken.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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1
Can You Hear Spiders?
1:05:31
1:05:31
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1:05:31Hints of ethically ambiguous conversation, sexually charged giggling, and fresh strawberries.Von Mum’s Friend Energy
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