Actor/podcaster/teacher/Wine fan
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A podcast by On Air Host/Blogger Mack who details his many escapes of online dating as a black gay male Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/swipedout/support
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Coach Maddox, host of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast, reveals why so many gay men experience loneliness and isolation and the steps they can take, so they can create deep meaningful friendships that help them experience a profound sense of belonging and community. If you have ever felt like you were on the outside looking in, you’re not alone. It's a common theme among gay men. Maybe you are wondering what it means to be an Authentic Gay Man? Maddox engages his guests in honest and raw conver ...
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How My Mom Almost Stole My Man (ft. My mom)
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42:57
Happy Mother's Day, to all who celebrate. In this installment I go down memory lane with my mom on how I came out to her, how she met and divorced my dad, her dating tips and a few revelations she would rather forget. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/swipedout/support…
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How the "DL Trade" stole Christmas
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39:39
Back in college I dated my first real "DL" dude and made a connection I never expected. There's a reason why Christmas has historically been my least fav holiday. IG: @mackondemand Tik Tok: @mackondemand Twitter: @mackondemand Wendy Ho-F*ck Me (song): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8f0ch4ed_Qw --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.c…
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Hello Authentic Gay Man Podcast fans. I come to you with a full heart. Whether you are a listener or a podcast guest, there are no words to express how deeply grateful I am for your support and participation. YOU are what has made this podcast great! Today, I am here to inform you that this is the final episode of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. Sha…
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Grant Miller navigates aging and retirement like a seasoned pro
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42:22
This is Grant Miller’s third time to be on the podcast. As one of our biggest fans, he has a lot to say. In this episode he shares how he has gone from the glass half empty to the glass half full. Instead of fighting the aging process, he is accepting and flowing with it. He talks about his pending retirement and how he has intentionally reframed h…
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Jim Cartwright - Agism, Gay Elderism, and Remaining Relevant
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56:24
First let me say that the topic of agism is not just for those getting older! My guest, Jim Cartwright, is a holistic life coach. Our conversation was rich with different aspects of aging. I loved that Jim pointed out that agism has nothing to do with a specific age. Young people experience agism. The big ah ha was realizing that internalized agism…
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Justin Mezetin is challenged with being gay, black, and Seventh Day Adventist
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1:27:10
After a lengthy silence, Justin Mezetin states that his biggest challenge in life has been trying to understand what authenticity really is and even more challenging, how to live in authenticity. He speaks of the different ways he didn’t fit in. He’s gay, black, and a Seventh Day Adventist. He says that in every space, he didn’t fit in because at l…
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Cator Sparks talks about dating apps, mental health, and other alternatives
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1:01:41
My guest, Cator Sparks, is a gay man and a dating and relationship coach. Much of his work is around online dating and how to effectively navigate the challenges while making conscious efforts to safe guard your mental health and overall wellbeing. We talk about how to deal with rejection in a healthy manner and learning to not take the downside ex…
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Jon Carl Lewis: Spiritual direction as a tool for more peace in your life
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1:10:55
Jon Carl Lewis is a spiritual director who works with those that find themselves lacking peace or clarity when it comes to how they navigate their religion and/or spirituality. Helping his clients understand the differences between religion and spirituality and how they merge or blend together. We discussed religious wounding and the shame that can…
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Wil Fisher: Opening Your Heart and Loving Yourself
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53:39
My guest, Wil Fisher, is a certified coach, founder of Wilfully Living Coaching, and host of the Queerly Beloved podcast. Wil brings such an inviting conversation about what it means to open your heart. He talks about the connection with personal power, truth, and knowing and loving yourself with compassion. If you ever feel armored up in social se…
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White Men Can't Hump?
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We're taking it all the way back to my first year of college where I met the guy who made me lose it...literally! This is a tale of a messy love triangle filled with friendship, hook up apps & an insufficient use of lotion. IG: @mackondemand Tik Tok: @mackondemand Twitter: @mackondemand Check out the book here: Swiped Out: A Guide Derived From Tale…
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Randy Woodring has an awakening to his own lack of authenticity
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59:18
My guest, Randy Woodring, shares his journey with authenticity. Becoming aware of the concept of authenticity only about 3 years ago, Randy had an awakening of how inauthentic his life had been. He made it a quest to uncover all the underlying reasons that had been standing in his way. His honesty and openness with his life-long shame is a powerful…
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Serg Shepard shares about nude modeling and becoming a porn actor
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56:05
My guest, Serg Shepard, talks about how he has always been drawn to creativity and has a love for being in front of audiences. He danced, played instruments, posed as a nude model, and eventually found his way to the porn industry. This episode is SO unique. My takeaway is how Serg helps to dispel some of the negative biases around some of the more…
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Jonathan Lee makes an inspiring come-back after a significant break-up
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54:02
My guest, Jonathan Lee, shares his story of a relationship ending a few days before his 40th birthday. He was blind-sided when his boyfriend of two years ended their relationship during sex… WTF! He claims that the relationship wasn’t nearly as significant as the break-up. While it plunged him into a dark place that lasted for 4 months, it was the …
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Roger Miller shares a unique relationship with his wife and a boyfriend
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1:10:17
Roger Miller has been married to his wife for 41 years and has a 40 year old queer daughter. Three years ago, he came out as a gay identifying man. He and his wife have decided to maintain their marriage and he now has a boyfriend. He refers to his status as a mixed orientation marriage. My take away is how quickly Roger took ownership of who he is…
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Wil Smith talks about his life-long struggle for self-acceptance
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51:26
Wil Smith’s dream was to be a school teacher, but he abandoned that dream because he believed that he could never do that as a gay man in the 70s. Instead, he went to medical school only to find out that he hated it. Next stop was the pharmaceutical industry with a job that afforded him the luxury of cocaine and high priced escorts, in an effort to…
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Brian Falduto's role in a movie at age 10 has massive repercussions
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51:18
My guest, Brian Falduto, shares his story of how dramatically his life changed when a movie, he had a role in, hit the silver screen at age 10. He had a great experience during the filming process, not realizing how the boys at school would react to his character. Now, 20 years later, he’s been asked to return for a reunion for the original movie c…
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Is a Hoe Phase Necessary?| Dating Advice with Matchmaker Lamont White (@thegaydatingcoach)
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We're chatting with Match maker master Lamont White and we're getting real on ALL things love including: astrology, crafting the perfect dating profile, and knowing if/when you should activate your hoe phase! Video version: https://youtu.be/4MGWyISshaw Be sure to follow Lamont on IG @thegaydatingcoach --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.sp…
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Larry Jacobson sails around the world in 6 years to find himself
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1:03:47
My guest, Larry Jacobson, gave up his business, his CEO title, his life partner, and all of his material worth to realize his life-long dream of sailing all the way around the world. He discovered his dream when he was only 13 and finally made his 6 year voyage at 46. In the end, he states that is the most powerful experience that led him to his mo…
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Wil Fisher goes from popular to outcast in one day
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1:00:23
My guest, Wil Fisher, talks about being very well likes with lots of friends through the 7th grade. Then, in the 8th grade, two girls started a rumor that spread like wildfire, leaving Wil’s social life and popularity in the proverbial shitter. It took about 3 years for Wil to recover, but the experience left a lasting effect. Our conversation cent…
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Paul Haynes reverse engineers becoming an authentic gay man
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1:23:19
My guest, Paul Haynes, has spent his life thus far, working toward a conscious authentic way of being. He recounts various aspect and experiences that have forged him into the man he is today. This journey all started with his mother dying from cancer, when he was only 7 years old. Our conversation was about reverse engineering the process of becom…
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Why You Should Never Date An Influencer
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1:09:45
2022 was the year I dated an actor, the son of a satanist, and an influencer. Can you guess which one was worst? IG: @mackondemand Tik Tok: @mackondemand Twitter: @mackondemand Check out the book here: Swiped Out: A Guide Derived From Tales & Fails of Dating Online As A Black Gay Male --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/sho…
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Jarrod Bruce Lee's amazing story of restoring his child-like authenticity in his early 30s
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1:10:40
My guest, Jarrod Bruce Lee, identifies as an authentic gay man. He shares his journey from childhood to present, recounting the many experiences that carried him away from the authenticity that he came into the world with. Physical and emotional violence between his parents and living in fear. The weight of his father’s disapproval. Realizing he wa…
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Craig Cullinane tackles body shame head-on
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1:10:48
Craig Cullinane speaks of how much body shame he experienced as a result of religious and family messages that he received growing up. His body shame was so great that he couldn’t even take his shirt off at the local pool. This translated into sexual shame that was debilitating anytime he engaged erotically. His journey and his wisdom learned will …
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David Bellamy finally lets go of "It's none of your business"
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1:08:40
My guest, David Bellamy, came out at an earlier time in life. But, for most of his life, he lived with the motto that “It’s none of anyone’s business.” As a result, he didn’t let most people know who he really was. He states that it was mostly a fear of rejection. Now, in his 60s, he has realized that the motto that he so strictly lived by, did not…
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Daniel Rodriguez Schlorff world turns upside down when his mother tragically dies
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1:20:19
Daniel Rodriguez Schlorff had his career on track, a nice place to live, and all the trappings of a good life. Then, at 27, his mother tragically died in an auto accident, up ending every aspect of his life. The loss caused him to question everything about his existence and big changes came about. The loss of his mother altered him forever. His sto…
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David Robertson shares his journey of physical, mental, sexual, and spiritual abuse
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1:20:45
David’s story starts with his account of being abused inside and outside the home with every form of abuse possible. By the time he was 19, he had attempted suicide twice and failed, which further added to his feelings inadequacy. He found himself in a psych ward, where he felt safe for the very first time in his life. David’s journey is filled wit…
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Douglas Henry Lewis Jr lives a life, fully expressed
1:10:15
1:10:15
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1:10:15
My guest, Douglas Henry Lewis Jr grew up in the south with many religious messages that told him he could never be successful, happy, or accepted as a gay man. He never allowed himself to subscribe to those hateful messages. In stead, he moved to NYC and created a life where he is fully and unapologetically self-expressed. For a young man of only 2…
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Hank Estrada learned to separate sexual abuse from sexual relations
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1:07:38
Hank Estrada tells a story of an uncle who sexually abused him from age 5 to 16. His struggle with multiple therapists before he found one that was truly qualified to help him. His journey to be able to completely and effectively separate his sexual abuse from his sexual attraction for men. This man has freed himself from the shackles of shame and …
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Grady Throneberry gets thrown into fire to rise from the ashes
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1:07:02
My guest, Grady Throneberry, the first openly gay police chief in Kentucky and a former bi-vocational pastor, gets thrown into the fire, when a spurned boyfriend outs him to his church and the city major. All hell broke loose and Grady went through the most painful and dark period of his life at 64. With sheer courage and determination, he came bac…
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Pete Simmonds spends two decades reclaiming his childhood creativity
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1:13:44
My guest, Pete Simmonds, was an incredibly creative child that had the creativity squashed out of him by a school councilor. He spend many years doing what others wanted him to do, but ultimately found that to be detrimental to his spirit. For the last twenty years, Pete has leaned into rediscovering and reclaiming that part of his being. Now, crea…
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Hello Fans, Followers, and Supporters. I Have News About the 2023 Season of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. First, I wish to thank you for your continued support of The Authentic Gay Man Podcast. This podcast is only possible because of your support. No amount of guests or episodes are worth anything, if there aren’t people like you, listening and s…
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Alex Amorosi endures multiple relationships to learn to give to himself first
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1:11:01
My guest, Alex Amorosi, shares his experience of multiple relationships in row that all ended very much the same. In each relationship, he gave so much of himself away that there was nothing left for him. Then, he reached the point when his inner voice spoke so loud and clear that he couldn't deny it any longer. He realized that the voice had alway…
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Dan Babineau creates a peaceful and content life after losing everything
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59:22
Dan Babineau had a wife, a daughter, and a life that was completely centered around evangelical religion. When he came out at age 48, his family, his friends, and his church turned their back on him, leaving him isolated and alone. In the darkest time of his life, he had to figure out a way to start over, from completely nothing. While Dan speaks o…
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Rick Clemons has a bumpy ride after coming out in his late 30s
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1:03:56
My guest, Rick Clemons, talks about the wild ride of coming out late in life after many years with a wife and two daughters. During his first two years of being out, he refers to himself as being an asshole and how his ego was so engaged that he had to take a pause and do some self-awareness and forgiveness work to get his head on straight. If you'…
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Robert Lowther brings the less obvious side of the addiction conversation into view
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1:09:18
Robert Lowther shares a story about a topic rarely mentioned. While I hear many stories about men who suffer from some form of addiction and 12 step programs are common, there is very little conversation about those individuals that are in relationship with an addict or alcoholic. Robert shares two lengthy relationships with men that he "enabled", …
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Fireside Chat With Maddox: The emotional and phycological damage caused by suppressing who you really are
1:10:06
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1:10:06
My guests, Brian Janes and Brian George recount their lives as closeted gay men. They both knew they were gay at an early age, but completely repressed that knowledge for several decades, both coming out in their early 50s. Ironically, each of them were married with two children. Their stories are somewhat similar in some ways and then very differe…
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Jim Soha shares his long journey from his "head to his heart"
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1:01:07
My guest, Jim Soha, talks about the various aspects of his life that carried him on his journey from "head to heart". There was his duel education in seminary and med school; his marriage to his wife and sharing 2 children with her; his divorce and coming out; his marriage to his soulmate, who died suddenly after 10 years together. I found myself r…
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Andrew O'Malley refuses to conform and comes back to his childhood authenticity
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1:10:20
My guest, Andrew O'Malley, shares how free he was to completely express himself as a child. His parents never expected his to conform in any way. But then, as he got older and went to school, the pressure to conform became so strong, that he succumbed, living life as other's expected for over a decade. His journey back to his authentic self was fil…
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Grey Jacks' struggle with internalized homophobia and how he moved beyond it
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50:52
Grey Jacks shares his evangelical upbringing and how internalized homophobia had plagued him for over 10 years after he realized he was gay. It made it nearly impossible for him to come out. Fortunately, he had the opportunity to observe an older gay man that exemplified the man that he knew he wanted to be. Once he finally came out in his mid twen…
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Tony Scott comes out twice while he reconciles his sexuality with his spirituality
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53:54
My guest, Tony Scott, came out to loving and accepting parents at age 16. But, his challenge was the church he had spent his whole life in, telling him he was an abomination. He finally came out and was really active in the LGBTQ community and all was well. Then, a once in a life time job opportunity to work on the staff of an internationally recog…
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Julio Alvarez's breakthrough occurred when he found compassion for his inner critic
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1:10:51
My guest, Julio Alvarez grew up with a father that continually criticized him for most everything he was and everything he did. This set him up for an intense and ongoing need for external validation. Once he got away from his father, he realized that he took the critical voice with him... in the form of his inner critic. He went through a period o…
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Fireside Chat With Maddox: Nick Gray teaches us how to build big relationships with small gatherings
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52:30
My guest, Nick Gray, is an LGBTQ community ally, an author, and a cocktail party host, extraordinaire. He shares his story of moving to NYC in his mid twenties, not knowing a single soul and what he did to create an epic social network, centered around meaningful connections and community. He was so wildly successful, he decided to write a book. Th…
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Bill Brochinsky has survived 42 years with HIV, while caring for other HIV+ men
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56:55
My guest, Bill Brochinsky, shares inside stories of the health care system and AIDS that I have never been exposed to before. He speaks of taking a stand with the hospital where he worked, making efforts to implement more compassionate care of patients with AIDS. With every patient he cared for, he could see himself reflected back to him. He made a…
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Fernando Velez discovers that it takes more than merely coming out to find true happiness
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46:02
My guest, Fernando Velez, shares how painful being in the closet and unable to be himself was for him. He describes how hard he tried to get the love and validation, that he needed, from others... friends and partners. It never worked out that way. He experienced constant rejection until he realized that he couldn't expect acceptance or love from o…
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Paul J Williams unpacks layers of reasons behind secret substance addiction
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1:11:15
Paul J Williams tells a story about how he tried alcohol, pot, cocaine, and ecstasy. Each was not his thing and he walked away. But, a perfect storm presented itself the first time he used crystal meth, while engaging is sex. In that moment it calmed his shame of being gay, gay sex, being sexually abused, and his fear of being inadequate. This went…
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Alex Benedict's pride cost him his happiness, until the Universe stepped in
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49:00
Alex Benedict's most challenging event in life was his family falling apart as a result of his mother's suicide. He had a brother and sister that he was estranged from for over 20 years. His sister's tragic death to lung cancer brought he and his brother back together, with a very unexpected outcome. If pride is hijacking your happiness by preventi…
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David Beers takes the stage at a United Methodist Conference to speak his truth
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40:36
David Beers returns for his second guest appearance. This time, with an epilogue story of a major life transformation that he experienced, since we recorded the first episode. After a lifetime of struggling to be his most authentic self, David, spontaneously, stepped into his power and spoke his truth on the stage at a United Methodist Conference. …
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Taylor Brorby gets outed by a family member before he's ready
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1:15:14
My guest, Taylor Brorby, got outed to his parents, in his mid 20s, by an aunt. It came very unexpected and caught Taylor completely off guard. His parents were not amused. Taylor went through about 3 years of torment until he finally severed contact with his parents, admitting that they had become abusive. His journey is that of triumph in the wake…
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Jon Carl Lewis talks about going through conversion therapy to escape being gay
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1:00:06
My guest, Jon Carl Lewis, was raised in an evangelical religion and received early messages that being gay was definitely not OK. For 10 years, starting at puberty, Jon Carl did everything he could do to "pray the gay away". When that failed, in his early 20's, he entered into conversation therapy. His personal recounting of this experience blew my…
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Kyle Elliott courageously drops his social mask and his professional life soars
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50:30
Kyle Elliott had a variety of social masks that he wore in his professional life. He had his career and his coaching side hustle and he had been under the impression that his personal life was not relevant to his professional life. But, when he stepped through his fears, doubts, and anxieties and began to remove the social masks and allow his follo…
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