Amateur experts explain life, love, sports and everything in between.
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How to meet a Bison
1:38:37
1:38:37
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1:38:37
Alex is a buffalo guy. TC is a sad Jets guy. We’re trying to make this consistent we swear
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!kcab era eW | We are back!
1:27:07
1:27:07
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After months spent away from the world licking their wounds from the now infamous 'Roast of TC and Alex', the guys courageously enter back into the world of podcasting to try and reclaim their confidence. To do so, they fumble through the complex physics of Tenet and make NFL predictions surely to fall apart by week 2. It's good to be back.…
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The Roast of TC and Alex
1:11:18
1:11:18
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1:11:18
After yearsss of waiting, Roast-Master Kaitlyn finally accepted the invitation to join the show. The sting of her quips was dulled only slightly by the coffee cake she served to us as she delivered her blows. Luckily, Dr. Kaitlyn also made an appearance and was there to mend us back together in the end!…
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Work from Home LIVE On-the-Job Coronavirus Special
1:08:58
1:08:58
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The world is in quarantine. Employees across the globe are now working from home. Fresh out of the shadow of their bosses' supervision, the Clowns coalesce to create their first ever LIVE on-the-job podcast. Goat Arnav joins the special to give his unique perspective inside American hospitals and to help the guys formulate appropriate responses to …
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Guys red flags for guys
1:48:35
1:48:35
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The Twilight Zone
1:25:08
1:25:08
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The end of an era
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The Episode About Nothing
48:32
48:32
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With nothing but a 45 minute timer and a starting point, the guys channel their inner Seinfeld to see just how wide-ranging and pointless their conversation could be.
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To Beard or Not To Beard
2:00:11
2:00:11
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Alex faces and age old dilemma. TC fights a dog. We belong on the green grass of Reed Quadrant
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Jokers? Hardly know ers
1:42:59
1:42:59
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1:42:59
Alex puts TC to the test. The first quarter of the NFL recap. We remake some movies.
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TC flirts with the idea of a quid pro quo as he gets involved in a dessert-tasting competition at work. Alex pitches a new movie idea Ferris Bueller would be proud of. The guys discuss the exciting new development that is Gardner Minshew (and other NFL news). The episode wraps up with a couple of new holiday ideas America is sure to fall in love wi…
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Four Months till Star Wars
1:35:53
1:35:53
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1:35:53
Alex bakes a brat. TC is attracted to the dark side. Bold predictions, bad takes, and big news galore
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Fruit Snack Equality
1:51:49
1:51:49
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Dr. Martin Luther Cain Jr. drops into the studio for his first appearance. The guys explore a new, Food Network-inspired segment they are calling TChopped. The episode wraps up with an exhilarating tour inside the walls of the generic, American work place. Timestamps: 2:10 - 20K+ Email Disaster 9:27 - TC hates Steve Perry's voice 13:53 - Tech Talk …
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Eyelins and urinals and funerals, oh my!
1:21:27
1:21:27
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Alex gets intimidated. TC climbs a wall. The Area 51 business trip is on the horizon
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The boys pitch a new monocle business that the world should keep an eye on. TC continues building his resume for a potential Webster's Dictionary career. A new movie title anagram segment is introduced. Finally, a list of Harry Potter pickup lines sure to work in the muggle world. TimeStamps: 8:30 - What if Prohibition came back? 15:05 - Monocle Bu…
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A High School Musical
1:19:55
1:19:55
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1:19:55
The guys welcome on their youngest goats ever
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Dobby and the Chamber of Secrets
2:06:48
2:06:48
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2:06:48
Cain clan comes in full force in this in depth interview. Alex gives a nickname. TC forfeits his first name. Darby tells all.
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In this wide ranging episode, the guys reveal themselves as anti-dentites and join a book club. TC sends Star Wars memes to girls on Bumble, while Alex preps for a karaoke performance on international waters. One day, 20 years from now, we will laugh at the descriptions of these episodes. I pray to the gods that our children never discover this tre…
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This one goes out to all the football adicts out there who just needs a fix. The two clowns and their goat have you this week. Just take a load off sit back with a glass of nice cold eggnog and enjoy.
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In this instant classic, the guys interview their first super-fan, Mark Heaths, a man History will not soon forget. After reaching out on Twitter, the California-native makes a shocking revelation that shakes the foundation of the world as we know it. The first shots in a bloody war have been fired. May God watch over our souls.…
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The Rise of Nichy
2:00:24
2:00:24
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One week from the draft. Nick goes to Europe. TC has phone complaints. Alex gets talkative at the urinal. The guys break down the Star Wars trailer and judge internet strangers.
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Gandhi Sweeps the Leg
1:45:46
1:45:46
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Alex calls for a hitman. TC calls off the engagement. Ashwinn is blessed by an elephant. The guys make an appeal to our California fanbase. Also Henry if you're reading this (and I know you are) we love you
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You're a fool, Harry Potter
1:25:10
1:25:10
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In this episode, TC details his engagement. Alex takes a time machine back to high school. We learn of the 6 degrees of David Lindhagen. TC looks to stay safe in his potentially explosive work environment. Alex calls Chicago. And remember, it's LeviOsa, not LeviosA.
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Alex is a popcorn guy. TC has been given manifest destiny. We both need Uncle Wayne.
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New goat, Mikey, shakes the foundation of the breakfast world with his PopTart-eating technique. Alex cannot solve the getting-a-hair-cut puzzle. TC receives an education on Carrot Top. This podcast continues to be a shining beacon of hope for people of all walks of life.
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A Bachelor Extravaganza
57:14
57:14
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In this special episode, fan-favorite, Tori, and new goattess, Rhea, join the show to break down the Bachelor season finale. Along the way, TC continues his forbidden love affair with Chris Harrison. Tori figures out a way to break the Chick-fil-a sandwich . Alex botches an Air Supply homage. And Rhea sips on her gin.…
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The products of a genetic experiment, fraternal twins Alex ( Arnold Schwarzenegger) and Brianne (Danny DeVito) are separated at birth and told their family is dead. Now Brianne, an unscrupulous street hustler, eeks out a living in Atlanta while Alex grows up in Wisconsin raised grows up humble, intelligent and strong, but very naive about the large…
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Our Longest Episode
1:53:50
1:53:50
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Alex hits the slopes. TC nails a joke about paper. A Bachelor time-travel theory presents itself. The guys break down the Combine and give their first mock drafts of the offseason. Another week of Close Encounters proves futile. Jay Cutler continues to find his way into our hearts.
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Taeshuhs BIG Mistake
1:23:34
1:23:34
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Valentine's Day was a rousing success. TC sees through Chris Harrison's disguise. Alex defends a horseman. This is slowly just becoming a bachelor podcast
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A Valentine's Day Mission
1:44:01
1:44:01
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TC hates nuts. Alex joins the IRA. The boys embark on a Valentine's Day mission that will surely end in failure. Also, where is Chris Harrison??
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The Last Week of Football
1:24:48
1:24:48
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Alex survives The Day After Tomorrow. TC is playing matchmaker. The guys get ready for another Brady Super Bowl win :/
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2018: A YEAR IN REVIEW
1:04:42
1:04:42
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The boys take a sentimental trip down 'Two Clowns and a Goat' memory lane. All the laughs, the tears, and the horrible sports takes from this past year are boiled down into one glorious episode.
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Tori, Tori, Tori In the House
1:36:21
1:36:21
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The guys recap a heart breaking national championship, a great playoff weekend, and a few breaking NFL headlines. A new Goatess has arrived! Tori joins the podcast for the first time. Alex goes on a Toucan safari. TC's plague of women continues. Tori gives the guys some much needed advice
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The boys return from Christmas break as new men. TC reveals he believes in a mythical creature. Alex is now wearing leather. Both reveal their wedding playlist must-haves.
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A Bathroom in Queens
1:37:44
1:37:44
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TC tries to 'straighten' out his love life. Alex goes commando in dress pants. Chuck E. Cheese makes an appearance.
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From Russia With Love
1:12:05
1:12:05
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TC is trying to date a spy. Alex is trying to contribute to the unemployment problem. We both forgot next week is Christmas
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The guys discuss their successes and failures from the past few weeks. TC continues to elevate his game.
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Best Weekend in College Sports
1:15:02
1:15:02
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Alex survived Thanksgiving. TC is a Bama homer. The end of football is upon us all.
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This week the creators of Two Clowns and a Goat bring you a new weekly minipod- CLOSE ENCOUNTERS. Alex and TC detail three experiences each week with the strange, the unknown, and the mysterious species known as women.
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Stuck at the Kids Table
1:35:58
1:35:58
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TC joins Tinder. Alex does the 'Bend and Snap'. The boys make a set a new mission for themselves, a mission that will ultimately lead them down a path of failure.
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Alex loves a midget. TC sees through Shanny. We both confront a dark truth.
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An unprecedented turn in TC's love life unfolds before our very eyes. A turn that could not be imagined. A turn that will stand the test of time. Ladies and gentlemen, our very first EMERGENCY PODCAST.
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Cats and Dawgs and Goats
1:31:38
1:31:38
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Alex encourages drug usage. TC got a date. Arnav is a hero. 17 episodes in and we still can't figure out how to work this app.
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Banksy, Barber Shop, Benadryl
1:22:57
1:22:57
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TC get's his ears lowered. Alex takes a trip to the movies.
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Itssssss SHOWTIME
1:20:46
1:20:46
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Alex is feeling McSorley. TC goes full Costanza. Both of them strike out when opportunity knocks.
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Knock Knock. Whom's Their?
1:12:29
1:12:29
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After facing hours of technological adversity and overcoming the shortcomings of a dyslexic co-host, the guys persevere and somehow continue to hit their stride.
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A Wild Goat Appears
1:31:09
1:31:09
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1:31:09
TC issues a public apology to a valued listener. Alex gets comfortable with women. Two Clowns and a Goat finally earns its namesake.
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The guys discuss TC's return to love. A look ahead to the fantasy/NFL season. Finally, a visit to the Mount Rushmore of Red Flags.
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We're back after a month-long walkabout. TC has quit on love. Alex has solved all spinal problems.
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Here, Use My Printer
1:23:21
1:23:21
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TC loses the flirtation high ground. Alex has his eye on a 2000 Dodge MiniVan. The guys lay out their hits and misses of the upcoming fantasy season and close things out with a spine-shivering, confidence-shaking Mt. Rushmore.
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