Clutch My Pearls is a podcast where the host, Emily, doesn't read erotic fiction and her two friends, Barbara and Vanessa, tell her all about their favorite smut! Join them every Tuesday as they dive into a different raunchy read and find out if Emily clutches her pearls! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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62 - Wreck The Halls
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Come get the band back together with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âWreck The Hallsâ by Tessa Bailey! This holiday romance follows Melody and Beat (yes his name is BEAT) who are both the children of rockstars who swore they would never play together again. When approached by a reality show to get the duo to come together and play for oâŠ
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61 - How My Neighbor Stole Christmas
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1:03:56
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Come compete for Christmas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âHow My Neighbor Stole Christmasâ by Meghan Quinn! When Storee Taylor comes back to Kringletown (not Whoville, but not not Whoville) to visit her Aunt Cindy (not Cindy Lou Hou, but not not Cindy Lou Hou) she is reunited with former friend Cole Black. Itâs Aunt Cindyâs dying âŠ
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60 - It's a Holiday Miracle!
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Come open your box with The Girls! This week Barbara is giving the gift of two books! First is the 8 page novella âMilked by Santa Clauseâ by CA Carbury. When sexy, Christmas-loving Mindy is visited by hot Santa, heâs ready to eat her cookies, but Mindy doesnât have any milk! Thanks to Santaâs Christmas bifurcating magic she can make some herself! âŠ
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59 - Light's Out
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Come scroll for thirst traps with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting Lights Out by Navessa Allen! When busy ER babe Ali comes across masked hottie âThe Faceless Manâ on TikTok, she does what any gal would do: she likes, subscribes and comments! Little does Ali know, the masked hottie is actually her friendâs roommate, Josh! Josh decides to âŠ
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58 - Guarding Temptation
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Come sleep on the sofa with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âGuarding Temptationâ by Talia Hibbert! After an educational update on Blue Eyed Kayla Jade, the girls eventually get to the book! Guarding Temptation follows investigative journalist Nina Chapman who is having to hide out from angry Brexit supporters with the only man she feelsâŠ
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Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âPriestâ by Sierra Simone! This sinful book follows Poppy as she moves to a small town to get away from her troubling past. When she turns to God for clarity, she meets hot priest Tyler Bell. As Poppyâs confessions to Father Bell get more steamy, the tension between them grows uâŠ
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56 - King of Wrath
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Come take a limo ride with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âKing of Wrathâ by Ana Huang! This is book 1 in the Kings of Sin series and there is plenty of sin! When busy business billionaire Dante Russo is blackmailed into an arranged marriage to mega babe Vivian Lau, stars collide and diamonds sparkle! This book had the girls slipping ouâŠ
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55 - Butcher and Blackbird
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Come enjoy some ice cream with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âButcher & Blackbirdâ by Brynne Weaver! This dark romance features Sloane and Rowan who are rival murderers. But donât worry, they only kill bad people! When they decide to join forces for a friendly competition, things get VERY friendly. This book has it all! Mummy mommy issâŠ
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Youâre invited to Barbaraâs Dino birthday party with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âTriceratops and Bottomsâ by Lola Faust! When super horned up sex addict Erin gets bored with what the alien future has to offer, she travels back in time to have her needs met! Unfortunately Erin couldnât go back to WW1 trench foot times, so she goes toâŠ
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53 - Icebreaker
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Come celebrate the one year anniversary of the podcast with The Girls! Our first episode came out one year ago, and to celebrate, Emily and Vanessa birthday blindside Barbara! Emily (yes, Emily) is presenting her very first book: âIcebreakerâ by Hannah Grace! When bossy figure skater Anastasia Allen is forced to share a skating rink with cinnamon râŠ
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Come pump gas with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âRecklessâ, the fourth book from the Chestnut Springs series by Elsie Silver! This book follows Winter as she comes to Chestnut Springs to reconcile with her sister Summer (from book 1 and Episode 25). Just as she is getting into town, she meets hunky bull rider Theo, who manages to tellâŠ
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51 - Play Along
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Come stretch out your groin with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âPlay Alongâ, the fourth book from The Windy City series by Liz Tomforde! When hottie shortstop Isaiah talks to PT cutie Kennedy K in the bathroom, he is suddenly sooo obsessed with her. But they work together which is soooo forbidden..too bad they just got married in VegasâŠ
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Come say âyes sirâ with The Girls! From The Salacious Players Club series, Vanessa is presenting âPraiseâ by Sarah Cate! When Charlie (Charlotte for short and direct) breaks up with her stupid boyfriend, she has to go collect a rent check from his father, Emerson Grant. Little does she know sheâll be on her hands and knees begging for daddyâs praisâŠ
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49 - Desperate Measures
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Come experience a whole new world with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âDesperate Measuresâ from the Wicked Villain series by Katee Robert! This is a totally different interpretation of the Aladdin universe! When Yasmina (not Jasmine, but yes Jasmine) wakes up to the news her dad is dead, she must run with consensual non consent into JafâŠ
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Come slam the door with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âUnhingedâ by Vera Valentine! This book truly lives up to its name and will leave you wondering if your door is a descendent of Zeus! The story is entirely from the doorâs POV (yes, itâs a literal DOOR). Itâs the door to Tanaâs apartment, heâs been keeping an eye on her, and he wantâŠ
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47 - Sinners Anonymous
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Come confess your sins with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âSinners Anonymousâ by Somme Sketcher. In an effort to save her nature preserve, bird loving Rory (or Aurora for shortâŠ) is engaged to a bad bulldog-looking man named Big Al. But as she soon finds out, his hottie nephew Angelo is the one with the real power. Is it too late for hâŠ
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46 - Celestial Glorbosis: Of Peace and Poimals
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Come save humanity with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting the world premiere of âCelestial Glorbosis: Of Peace and Poimalsâ by Jace Hammercock. This episode is unique because The Girls are joined by Jace Hammercock (pen name of Geoff Ramsey and Gavin Free from the Regulation Podcast) for an exclusive interview to discuss whatever the hell âŠ
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45 - Haunting Adeline
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Come enjoy getting scared with The Girls! This week Vanessa is continuing her bad boy era with âHaunting Adelineâ by HD Carlton. This book was not only heavily recommended by our listeners, it comes with a FULL page of trigger warnings! The Girls are all in and along for the rideâŠbut ready to get out by the end. When scare-happy Adeline moves into âŠ
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44 - The Maddest Obsession
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Count to three and come with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âThe Maddest Obsession,â the second book of the Made Series also seen in episodes 2 and 16! In this mafia romance we have Christian Allister, the cold, controlling, orderly, OCD counting, sexy mafia man who also works for the FBI! Then thereâs Gianna, our sexy, sassy, canât be âŠ
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43 - Den of Vipers
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Come pay off your fatherâs debt with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âDen of Vipersâ by K.A. Knight! This why choose (wide shoes) dark romance has everythingâŠmaybe too much for some! When mafia hotties Ryder, Kenzo, Garrett, and Diesel collect their debt in the form of sassy babe RoxyâŠshe doesnât go willingly. Thankfully everyone involveâŠ
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42 - Kissing The Coronavirus
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Come test positive with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âKissing the Coronavirusâ by M.J. Edwards! This 15 page novella (if you donât count page 9) was brought as revenge on Vanessa for blindsiding Barbara in the July Patreon-exclusive episode. When woman-in-STEM Dr. Alexa Ashingtonford is working on a cure for the newly discovered COVIDâŠ
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41 - The Pucking Wrong Guy
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Come climb Jacobâs Ladder with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âThe Pucking Wrong Guyâ by C.R. Jane! As we continue the âPucking Wrong" series we started in episode 27, we meet Ari Lancaster and Blake (or Serena!). When Ari crosses paths with his long lost foster care first love, he doesnât let her know he recognizes her. Instead he brinâŠ
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Come ask âWhatâs in the box?!â with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting with a physical copy of âRansomâ by Julie Garwood! This book is set in the medieval Scottish highlands and follows our FMC Gillian and MMC Brodick! There are also at least 13 more people and since Emily is not into historical romance or meeting a lot of characters, BarbaâŠ
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39 - Heartless
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Come throw lettuce heads out of the top window with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âHeartlessâ by Elsie Silver! Part of the Chestnut Springs series, this book brings us back to the cowboy brothers we met in Episode 25 âFlawlessâ. This book is focused on grumpy cowboy Cade who needs help with his little boy Luke. When fun city girl WillaâŠ
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38 - Ruthless Creatures
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Come collect a debt with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âRuthless Creaturesâ by JT Geissinger! Part of the Queens and Monsters series, this book brings us back into the world of mafia romance. Five years after Natalieâs soon to be husband disappears, tall hunky Kage with a K shows up to collect a debt. But what is the debt?! Donât startâŠ
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37 - Devourer Of Men
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Follow The Girls to the second star to the right and straight on till morningâŠto Neverland! This week Vanessa is presenting âDevourer of Menâ by Nikki St Crowe! Part of a series of the reimagined Peter Pan universe, this book is focused on Wendy, Captain Hook, and the crocodile. But this Croc is a man who eats..peanuts? When Wendy goes missing for âŠ
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36 - Caught Up
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Come cure your daddy issues with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âCaught Upâ by Liz Tomforde! The Girls continue the Windy City Series, first seen in episodes 1 and 21! When independent pastry chef Miller Montgomery leaves her commitment-free life in a van to come nanny for Major League Baseball Daddy Kai Rhodes, itâs a home run! As alwaâŠ
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Come snuggle your favorite pillow with The Girls! This week Barbara is hungover and Vanessa is presenting a cure with âStuffedâ by Sylvia Morrow! Gamer girl Anne canât stand human touch, so she connects DEEPLY with her favoriteâŠpillow. Yes. Her pillow. It may look like any other pillow, but it has a magical phoenix feather in it! Of course. So as AâŠ
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Put on your mask and go undercover with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âVelvetâ by Lisette Marshall! When Princess Viviette senses trouble in her medieval times kingdom, she goes to her Dadâs right hand Spymaster, Jaghar. Jaghar just so happens to fall in love with Viviette, but his way of getting information from the enemy involves sedâŠ
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33 - Morning Glory Milking Farm
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Pay off your student loans with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âMorning Glory Milking Farmâ by C.M. Nascosta! When no-show-sock-wearing millennial Violet is down on her luck, she gets a job at the local pharmaceutical milking farm! When busy business bull Rourke comes to be milked, Violet realizes heâs not like the other Minotaurs. ThisâŠ
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32 - The Love Hypothesis
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Come cure cancer with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âThe Love Hypothesisâ by Ali Hazelwood! This is Barbaraâs comfort read, and if the Libra inside her allowed it - her favorite book. When women-in-STEM scientist Olive Smith starts fake dating big-handed professor Adam Carlsen⊠Bunsen burners get cranked up! This episode will have you âŠ
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31 - For The Fans
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Hit that subscribe button with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âFor The Fansâ by Nyla K! This book features Kyron and Avi, stepbrothers who have nothing in common. But when strapped for cash, they do what any Busy Business Boys would doâŠthey start an OnlyFans! What starts out as âjust for the fansâ and a way to get money becomes so much âŠ
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30 - Conquered By Clippy
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Go down with the ship of âNo icksâ with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting a truly unhinged request from Emily⊠âConquered by Clippyâ by Leonard Delaney. When busy business blogger and woman in STEM Christie Aackerlund is sent on an assignment by Phil Gates she learns how beneficial it can be to receive assistance from a familiar friendâŠCliâŠ
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29 - Birthday Girl
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Come blow out your birthday candle with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âBirthday Girlâ by Penelope Douglas. When hard working hottie Jordan is alone on her birthday (because her boyfriend Cole sucks), she meets a hard working hottie stranger, Pike. Jordan and Pike have an instant connection, but Pike isnât like the other guys heâs ColeââŠ
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28 - The Devil You Know
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Come end Gender Discrimination with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âThe Devil You Knowâ by Elizabeth OâRoark! This enemies to lovers book follows hot lawyer Ben Tate and his coworker busy business lawyer Gemma Charles. These two have a lot of BANTER and the girls love it! Do they actually end gender discrimination or does it just continâŠ
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27 - The Pucking Wrong Number
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Come stalk your soulmate with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âThe Pucking Wrong Numberâ by CR Jane! When hot hockey player Lincoln Daniel accidentally texts mystery babe Monroe, sparks fly and stalking intensifies! This book will have you questioning how far is too far to go for love. Is it okay to have a tracker on orâŠIN your crush? BeâŠ
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26 - Montana Sky
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Come read your dead dadâs will with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âMontana Skyâ by Nora Roberts! Barbara brought this artifact all the way from her angsty teen years and her step momâs bookcase! In this book we have three estranged sisters who have to live on their fatherâs ranch for a full year so they can get their inheritance. Of coâŠ
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Try to hang on for 8 seconds with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âFlawlessâ by Elsie Silver! When superstar bull rider Rhett needs some image rehabbing after a big milk fiasco, his bossâs daughter Summer is assigned to keep an eye on him. This episode includes some of your favorite book tropes and some of our least favorite technical diâŠ
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24 - Ice Planet Barbarians
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Brace for impact with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âIce Planet Barbariansâ by Ruby Dixon. This book starts with Georgie being kidnapped in the middle of the night and waking up on the way to an unknown planet! On the way there, the spaceship crash lands onto an icy cold planet full of snow and big sexy blue aliens! Georgie is supposedâŠ
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23 - Nanny for The Neighbors
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Help raise a baby with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âNanny for The Neighborsâ by Lily Gold! Cyrus, Sebastian and Jack do everything (everything!) together, but when a baby appears on the doorstep, they realize they canât do this alone. Thankfully their hot neighbor, Beth, is a nanny! Beth doesnât just take care of the baby, she takes âŠ
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22 - A Sinner's Promise
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Head to an open house down under with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âA Sinners Promiseâ by Kylie Kent! This book was recommended by none other than âShirleyâ our infamous one star reviewer from episode two! When busy business real estate woman Eloise is asked to show a house to mafia boss Gio, things get spicy! This episode is all overâŠ
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21 - The Right Move
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Come shoot your shot with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âThe Right Moveâ by Liz Tomforde. This book is the sequel to our Episode One feature âMile Highâ! We are back in The Windy City, but this time we are focusing on the hot new captain of the Devils basketball team Ryan Shay and his sisterâs coworker Indy! Itâs a real grumpy-sunshineâŠ
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20 - The Wedding Crasher
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Come with The Girls to a wedding and yell âI Object!â This week Barbara is presenting âThe Wedding Crasherâ by Mia Sosa. In this millennial rom-com of a book, follow Dean and Solange as they fake date their way into love. In this book we go axe throwing, fake screw driving to Pony by Ginuwine, watch a sex show, and even help with a birth! Could thiâŠ
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Head to the Southwest Omegaverse with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting a HOT OFF THE PRESSES book, âBrideâ by Ali Hazelwood! The girls barely cover everything that happens in the book, but it has them all KNOTTED up. When vampire Misery Lark is sent to marry Lowe Moreland to keep the peace between species, things get Baja blasted! Close tâŠ
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18 - Knot So Lucky
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Come along with The Girls and VIVA LAS VEGAS! This week Vanessa is presenting âKnot So Luckyâ by Trilina Pucci! What happens in Vegas doesnât always stay in Vegas, except when a judge makes you stay! This book follows busy business esthetician Elle and the hot shot NFL quarterback Crew Matthews after a night of partying..and their wedding!? Even thâŠ
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17 - Pucking Around
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Put on your wide shoes and come to a hockey game with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting one of her favorite books, âPucking Aroundâ by Emily Rath. In this âwhy choose hockey romanceâ we meet Rachel who is not like the other girls, and the newest physical therapist for a hockey team of hotties! When Rachel starts a relationship with Caleb, âŠ
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Come burn down a gas station with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting âSweetest Oblivionâ by Danielle Lori from the Made series! When hot mob boss Nicolas is set to marry sweet Elenaâs younger sister, things donât go quite as planned. Nicolas only wants to smoke cigs and make his haters to choose whether they keep their left or right hand. CâŠ
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15 - Mistakes Were Made
1:00:21
1:00:21
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1:00:21
Come to parents weekend with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting Mistakes Were Made by Meryl Wilsner! When cool girl Cassie meets a hot female doctor at a bar they have a hot and heavy one night stand, until the next morning when Cassie realizes the hot doc is actually her friends mom! This episode is steamy and has everything women want! HiâŠ
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Youâre invited to come to the 80s with The Girls! This week Vanessa is presenting âManeaterâ by Emily Antionette. The book follows Shane, who is a virgin-witch-nerd and Elle, who is a mega-babe-succubus! Shane isnât like the other boys, heâs a good boy and when he saves Elle (after a lot of asking for consent!) from some sketchy witches she makes hâŠ
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13 - Neon Gods
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Grab your AirPods and cross The River Styx with The Girls! This week Barbara is presenting a listenerâs recommendation of âNeon Godsâ by Katee Roberts. When Zeus announces he is engaged to Persephone (news to her!) she runs away to Hades in the Underworld. This book is set in a modern day Olympus, which is basically Gotham City⊠so does that make HâŠ
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