Stories this week include: Amazon workers told to write to the Almighty Mascot of Consumerism if they want their prayers answered. Takeaway goes on charm offensive after receiving backlash for issuing costumer with 1,000 year ban. Llewelyn-Bowen's 'winter wonderland of magic and drama' closes after reports of rude and unhelpful staff, a broken 'mag…

Stories this week include: Inflatable Santa gunned down in suspected drive-by shooting. Hiker drank from puddle and eat tadpoles to survive Texas desert ordeal. Escaped reindeer blocks A-road after fleeing Santa's grotto. Man discovers chopsticks lodged in his brain. Wishing all our listeners a wonderful Christmas and a very happy 2024! Website: ht…

Stories this week include: Airline serves 'dog food' to business-class passengers in translation blunder. Restaurant in former church targeted by thieves using Bibles as kneepads. Grubhub driver who delivered cup of urine claims it was 'genuine mistake'. Child in stolen forklift leads police on hour-long chase. We discuss the inevitable rise of mec…

Stories this week include: Escaped lion completely harmless says circus. Queue-line defecation on the rise in the Magic Kingdom. Police hunt suspect who took 'Kum & Go' gas station name literally. Putin 'enlists' Satanic cannibal for Russian frontline. Alex shares another one of his hilarious childhood memories... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/…

Stories this week include: Kenny, Tasmania's big potato finally toppled. Cabin crew spot windowpane missing at 30,000 feet. Nudist asked to leave pub after bending for a poppadom. Adult nappy mistaken for bomb aboard flight. Do you care about Belgium...? Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPo…

Stories this week include: Vicar gets stolen house back only to find it full of squatters. Elderly couple allegedly conned out of full rack of ribs. Somerset Gimp banned from wearing gimp suit and ‘crawling, wriggling or writhing’ for five years. Luminous sludge oozing from New York streets completely normal state city officials. We discover the ne…

Stories this week include: Man gets stuck in traffic cone after sheltering from the rain. Dad punched unconscious at Christening party. Ancient tradition of 'Mischief Night' celebrated in town and cities across the UK. 1977 crisp packet featuring Kevin Keegan centrepiece for sold-out exhibition in Cornwall. November's here and so are the viruses...…

Stories this week include: Massive c*ck offers one billion dollars for unfunny joke. Secret ingredient of best-selling Chinese beer revealed. Naked man smears himself with shower gel to avoid capture. King Charles III revealed to have flown classified alien space mission. We talk hand, foot and mouth and painful testicles... Website: http://www.lap…

Stories this week include: Customer arrested after faking his twenty-first heart attack to avoid paying restaurant bill. Criminal 'masterminds' kidnap and tortured wrong man. Emotional support alligator denied entry to baseball stadium. Man pretends to be mannequin to rob shopping mall. We discuss Faecel Matter's latest release... Website: http://w…

Stories this week include: Man forced to protect terrified dog from Halloween sound effects. Police decide to blame Satanists after failing to find missing cat. Creepy rhyming clown dares cops to take him down. Wizard of Oz slipper thief soon to discover 'there's no place like home.' 'A cough, a sneeze and I sh*t myself...' Website: http://www.lapo…

Stories this week include: Yvette Fielding claims Blue Peter producers forced her to live with dog against her will. EV car malfunctions and takes driver on 'terror ride'. Japanese wrestlers stage match on Bullet Train. Tories f*ck over the North of England again. We inadvertently resurrect 'train talk' under the banner of 'rail talk'... Website: h…

Stories this week include: Russian officials correct dead soldier's fashion faux pas. Florida man attacked by rabid otter whilst feeding ducks. Meteor strike found to be hole dug with plastic spade. Police issue warning after twenty men spotting wearing garter belts or nothing at all. We announce John Craven's death...again. Website: http://www.lap…

Stories this week include: Tories aim to fix NHS with army of robot penguins. 'Laziest Citizen' contest sets new record. New podcast reveals one man's quest to pleasure dolphins and convert miners to veganism. Couple taking selfie results in pony death. We, again, find ourselves searching for a dolphin's average penis length... Website: http://www.…

Stories this week include: High-profile bird sniffer reported to police after One Show appearance. Builders create shortcut through Great Wall of China Man converts police car to transport beloved bull. Passengers forcibly removed from flight after complaining about vomit-stained seats. Rob has little green men on the mind... Website: http://www.la…

Stories this week include: New York becoming infested with tourist rat tours. Floridian apprehended after trying to cross Atlantic in hamster wheel vessel. Armed robbery suspect who made getaway via car, bike, tractor, sailboat and kayak caught. Yoga class triggers armed police response. Alex and Rob meet IRL... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ F…

Stories this week include: Burger King facing lawsuit for telling Whoppers. Jesus fails to save woman from simultaneous snake and hawk attack. Hotel serves half-naked staff member covered in chocolate at dessert buffet. Reveller bites testicle of nightclub employee after being refused entry. The great burger debate continues... Website: http://www.…

Stories this week include: Woman becomes stranded after trying to rescue scarred parrot from mountain. Florida man arrested for impersonating US Marshal. Mancunian doggers mourn lost lay-by cafe. Experienced climbers make cash withdrawal on route to summit. Alex finally displays a reaction... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www…

Stories this week include: Big cat spotted driving on the M180 near Doncaster Services. Man steal neighbour's front porch. Tuna sniffer ejected from coffee shop. Drunken American tourists trapped up Eiffel Tower. We add some much needed hold music to the episode... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twi…

Stories this week include: Essex mum rescued from swing. Manatee fatally injured after 'intense sex' with brother. Man claims to have irrefutable proof of blurry object. Fake employee given promotion at Wendy's for perfect attendance record. We mix things up... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter…

Stories this week include: American flag saved from man's skull. Newly hired driving instructor crashes into driving school. AI meal planner app recommends bleach “fresh breath” mocktail, ant-poison and glue sandwiches and “bleach-infused rice surprise”. Hull couple's five-star luxury holiday includes dead body, public sex and guest defecating in h…

Stories this week include: Well, that would be telling! We take an in-depth look at significant world (i.e. UK) events since we started the podcast... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcastVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: Well, that would be telling! Also, we pull some gold from the old feature bin... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcastVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: Popular restaurant finally laid to rest. Creme Egg thief comes to sticky end. Burger King stop bothering. Moronic tourist issues grovelling apology to Italy. The anxiety ahead of LA 400 continues to build... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast…

Stories this week include: 'Professional' big cat hunters capture compelling footage of old boot. Cruise line quietly shelves whale slaughter tours of the North Atlantic. Woman quits Wetherspoons role ahead of anticipated mockery of new Welsh accent. Charity raises awareness of shaven pussies in the south east. Roland Rat gets another bloody mentio…

Stories this week include: Lunatic embarks on fruitless road trip to save egg. Police break up fight over possession of duck. Local councillor uses belly to push rival into cereal. Woman finally sacked after avoiding work for twenty years. We decide to start telling Noel Edmonds-based lies for a living... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook…

Stories this week include: Man performs sex act over captive seagull. Attempted robbery thwarted by brutal shunning. Cougar survives stoning by pensioner. Restaurant hires fake police detective to investigate employees. Alex's deep fakes continue... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LAPodcast/ Twitter: @LAPodcast…

Stories this week include: Cardiff resident foots tax bill for 11,000 Chinese firms. Face of our Lord and Saviour spotted in gravy boot. Austrian train has Hitler-related technical issue. Melbourne commuters find legitimate excuse to buy sex dolls. We issue an apology to the People's Republic of China... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook:…

Stories this week include: Fast food employee arrested after losing bag of cocaine in customer's hotdog. Business owner pays local teenage to act as personal bird of prey. Substandard Cadbury's Flake causes embarrassment to ice cream professionals. Drunk driver claims dog was behind wheel after being stopped by police. We suggest another idiotic, l…

Stories this week include: Woman finds novel way to promote OnlyFans account. Missing cat wanders into Animal Rescue Conference. Man drains entire reservoir to retrieve phone. Magical commands swimmers to collect rock from mystical island. We contemplate becoming citizens of Lamb Island... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.fa…

Stories this week include: Knife-wielding chef spits on Benedict Cumberbatch's intercom. Man robs bank with Nintendo Duck Hunt pistol. Town mourns beloved swan found eaten. Children scribble over 230-year-old statue during family activity day. Alex starts spreading misinformation again... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://www.fac…

Stories this week include: Penis-shaped iceberg seen floating past Dildo. Copious amounts of cooked pasta found in New Jersey woods. Court orders sperm donate to stop making 'deposits'. Man jailed for intentionally scaring neighbour's chickens to death. We don't want your sperm but will take your cash... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook:…

Stories this week include: Police seize car containing baby lamb, £10,000 worth of Class A drugs and a bag of chips. Owner catches boy 'interfering' with family cat. Road closed due to large proportion of squashed toads. The Mirror Chicken meets the Blackpool Zoo seagull. Rob gives his top travel tips... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook:…

Stories this week include: Onlookers unsurprised as drunk women perform sex acts outside Iceland. Blackpool Zoo looking to recruit team of human seagull deterrents. Unlucky Filipino man crucified for 34th time. Seagull dies after being pulled around Blackpool on leash. We ask whether you would contemplate crucifixion for your sins... Website: http:…

Stories this week include: Stolen giant spoon recovered thanks to Pokémon Go. Arrested parrot linked to drug dealer remains uncooperative. Ex-guardman falls foul of fake hitman job advert. MP revealed to have taxpayer funded smoking hut on roof of departmental office. Alex repeats another anecdote... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: htt…

Stories this week include: Visitor wearing clown mask leaves suspicious substance at testing lab. Naked man driving stolen school bus with dead deer inside leads police on car chase. Late night game of Monopoly ends in Samurai sword fight. Village under siege from otter laying waste to prized fish. We discuss our very own Banksy... Website: http://…

Stories this week include: Work colleagues marry after Zoom pinning error. London restaurant refuses to be intimidated by rotten fish warning. Subway unveils frankly disgusting limited edition Creme Egg sandwich. Man charged following platypus theft. The old podcast jingle is dead and buried... Website: http://www.lapodcast.net/ Facebook: https://w…

Stories this week include: Mum barred from buying 100 cucumbers after raising suspicions. Couple engage in intercourse after discovering sexy bollard. Penis festival distances itself from terrifying unofficial phallic mascot. Norwich resident house incorporating controversial B&B and clandestine Japanese restaurant denied planning permission. We di…

Stories this week include: Father attempts to rob own son in Glasgow. Man celebrates failed driving test by nearly hitting four pedestrians and performing doughnuts in car park. Manchester student club hires 'dwarf' actor as Leprechaun for St Patrick's Day event. French citizen pens article on the delights of Stroud. We discuss the mystery of the t…

Stories this week include: Henry VIII revealed as new Greggs mascot. Endless amateur rendition of Frozen classic ruins celebratory meal. 'Ghost soldier' filmed sitting on park bench. McDonald's targets grieving relatives after successful crematorium advertising campaign. Alex has been talking to handymen again... Subscribe to Patreon for exclusive …

Stories this week include: Man disguises himself as sheep to escape from prison. Winner of Mr Blobby costume auction immediately struck down with buyer's remorse. Cat decides to make tree permanent home after evading rescue attempts. Morecambe man reveals shocking evidence of alien settlement on the Moon. Rob makes up a joke... Subscribe to Patreon…

A sneak preview of what's coming on An Extra Jab 42: The Dubious Death of a Beloved Vulture. To hear the full episode and access the Extra Jab and Daft Talk back catalogues, subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/LAPodcastExtraVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: Nursing home mistakenly declare woman dead. Doritos-eating monkey pervert found in empty church surrounded by cats and birds. Commuters stunned as bus driver stops mid-journey to buy plantain. Builder stumbles across haul of vintage Nesquik cans. We embrace the AI revolution (and take a few months off)... Subscribe to Pat…

A sneak preview of what's coming on An Extra Jab 41: The Life and Times of Cocknose. To hear the full episode and access the Extra Jab and Daft Talk back catalogues, subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/LAPodcastExtraVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: 45% of UK adults cannot tell their arse from their elbow. Stranded sailor survives on ketchup, garlic powder and stock cubes. Drunk woman steals ferry whilst claiming to be Jack Sparrow. Aussie tradesman convinces fiancée to let him keep $3,000 sex dolls. We ask 'where do you keep your sock unit'...? Subscribe to Patreon …

A sneak preview of what's coming on An Extra Jab 40: A Door off Its Hinges and Two Confused Police Officers. To hear the full episode and access the Extra Jab and Daft Talk back catalogues, subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/LAPodcastExtraVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: Complaints about horny chatbot app continue to rise. US Airport Security finds live cat curled up in suitcase. Bolivian state airline enlists psychic to find cat lost in transit. Man watches fortune go up in smoke. Alex falls victim to a scammer... Subscribe to Patreon for exclusive bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com…

A sneak preview of what's coming on An Extra Jab 39: Human-Sized Emotional Support Bear To hear the full episode and access the Extra Jab and Daft Talk back catalogues, subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/LAPodcastExtraVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: Priest calls upon the Almighty to forgive his driving offences. Lifesaving dog rescues man from car footwell. 'Poobrew' takes parking dispute to next level. Militant Santas invade Cornish village. We drop some truth bombs about the Coastguard... Subscribe to Patreon for exclusive bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/LA…

A sneak preview of what's coming on An Extra Jab 38: Posh People Taking Advantage of the Working Classes To hear the full episode and access the Extra Jab and Daft Talk back catalogues, subscribe to our Patreon at: https://www.patreon.com/LAPodcastExtraVon Alex and Rob

Stories this week include: Town council admits that woman on mobility scooter pulling sad dog was not suitable replacement for Santa Claus in annual Christmas Fayre. Pub forced to close after suspicious items found in free Queen's funeral buffet. Stolen beloved taxidermy animal held to ransom. Fat bear beats another fat bear to Fat Bear Week 2022 t…