595 What if I don't want to hear my partner having s-x?

Polyamory Weekly

A listener wants to know if it's OK to consider nesting with a partner if she's not sure she'll be comfortable hearing them have sex with someone else.

0:00 Introduction and host chat

• If you’re under 18, visit scarleteen.com
• Thanks to L for taking the dog so we could record! And forgive Baloo saying hello a few times in the episode. J
• D asked for our poly pet peeves, so here they are:
  • Sex negativity in the poly community. Nothing wrong if it IS all about the sex!
  • Folks who describe polyamory as “more evolved.”
  • Poly gatekeepers.

8:30 Poly in the news

Three best poly 101 articles: https://polyinthemedia.blogspot.com/2021/03/the-3-best-poly-101-articles-to-share.html

10:00 Lusty Guy’s Politics Corner

We all need to listen to BIPOC voices with respect to U.S. history. Watch the Netflix series Amend: The Fight for America, executive produced and hosted by Will Smith.

14:30 Feedback

If you have questions, comments, or feedback call 802-505-POLY or email [e-mail] and attach an MP3 file with your questions. To book us or anything that involves a calendar, email [e-mail].

15:00 Topic: is it OK to not want to hear my partner having sex with someone else?

E and her partner of two years are moving in together but concerned about hearing metamour sex and having private space. She asks if being completely okay with hearing one’s partner getting down with a meta a pre-requisite for being good nesting partners? What are your thoughts on ways to progress to this point of compersion/okay-ness?

• Don’t borrow trouble. You don’t know how you’ll react, and your actual reaction will probably be different, anyway.
• If it turns out that you don’t, own your shit. It’s your issue to address, not your partner’s.
• What would monogamists do? When monogamists are concerned about living together, they do test runs--a weekend away, a week or two vacation—to experiment with domesticity.
• It’s a two-way door decision: if you don’t like it, you can go back to living apart.

26:50 Join the conversation

Join the community on Facebook at https://facebook.com/polyweekly or Twitter at @polyweekly or @cunningminx, Instagram at cunning.minx or now on TikTok as @cunningminx.

27:15 Feedback

Mica encourages us and you to continue the hard work of being allies to BIPOC.

30:00 Happy poly moment

Gigi writes in with a happy poly moment about community. Even though her local meetup hadn’t met since February, she wanted to build community by giving back and adopted a family for the holidays. The group jumped at the chance, got every item on the family’s list, including four bikes, and more! A great demonstration of building community by giving back.

32:15 Thank you!

Welcome Ivo to the PW Playmates!

Thanks to our Poly Weekly Playmates for your financial support! We also love when you review us on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcatcher (including Spotify!) and when you share us with your friends directly. Thanks also to Pacemaker Jane for letting us use their song Good Suspicions as our intro and outro music and to you for listening and sharing.