Science of Social Bonding in Family, Friendship & Romantic Love

Huberman Lab

This episode I discuss the science of social bonding- the process by which we form attachments. I explain the neural and hormonal basis for "social homeostasis" (our drive for a given amount of socializing) which reveals why we get lonely, why we seek out connection with others and how power dynamics (hierarchies) shape those connections. I also discuss the neurochemical basis of introversion and extroversion, of trust and how shared experiences that promote similar physiological states in two or more individuals, leads to more rapid bonding. I also discuss how food and oxytocin play key roles in social bonding. This episode covers quality peer-reviewed science and practical tools for anyone seeking to find, build or end relationships.

For the full show notes, visit hubermanlab.com.

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Timestamps

(00:00:00) Social Bonding: Child-Parent, Romantic, Friendship, Breakups

(00:03:10) Sponsors: AG1, LMNT

(00:07:08) Social Bonding as a Biological Process

(00:10:03) Social Isolation

(00:13:32) Social Homeostasis & Neural Circuits for Social Drive

(00:18:55) Brain Areas & (Neuro)Chemistry of Social Drive

(00:22:48) What is Social Homeostasis & Dopamine

(00:27:00) When We Lack Social Interactions: Short- Versus Long-Term

(00:28:10) Introverts & Extroverts

(00:31:00) “Good” Versus “Bad” Social Interactions & Hierarchies

(00:33:54) Loneliness & Dorsal Raphe Nucleus & Social Hunger

(00:37:33) Tools

(00:38:05) Socializing & Food Appetite: Crossover Craving

(00:42:45) Falling in Love

(00:45:05) Tools for Social Bonds: Merging Physiologies; Story

(00:53:54) Childhood Attachment Patterns in Adulthood

(01:03:45) Attachment Styles: Autonomic Versus Intellectual Attachment

(01:06:10) Emotional Empathy & Cognitive Empathy, Arguing

(01:09:45) Allan N. Schore & “Right Brain Psychotherapy”

(01:10:40) Oxytocin & Trust, In Males Versus Females, Hormonal Glue

(01:16:10) Repairing Broken Bonds to Self & Others

(01:18:56) Social (Media) Butterflies: Biological Basis

(01:24:08) Key Points for Bonding & Understanding Social Bonds

(01:27:07) Breaking Up

(01:28:36) Synthesis

(01:31:17) Zero-Cost Support, Sponsors, Supplements, Instagram, Twitter

Title Card Photo Credit: Mike Blabac

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