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150,000 Americans succumbed. 5,000,000 infected. An economy that shed 20,000,000 jobs. We lost the battle, but now we settle in for the war. This once-a-hundred year event may have been caused on purpose to sabotage the chances of a high-flying president. Alternatively, said president may have calculated that letting the governors lead was the best…
 
In the face of two major crises, while the President is leading from the front through Lafayette Park with only a bible to protect him, Hidin’ Joe Biden is in his basement, like Punxatawny Phil, afraid of his own shadow. Or is he? Comparing Hidin’ Joe from 2016 with now, people are saying that this could be a Weekend at Bernie’s election. As the be…
 
El Presidente, the self-proclaimed boss of the deal, is pushing to change a 1977 law that makes it illegal for businesses to bribe foreign officials to win business abroad. What’s wrong with a little payola, especially since America’s economy grows stronger with every deal we win? Who stands to gain most if this law is repealed?…
 
Chicago’s very own bonafide superstar, Jenny McCarthy, is leading the crusade for parents to be freed from the tyranny of government oppression. Specifically, the public school requirement that children be vaccinated against preventable debilitating diseases measles, mumps and rubella. Although the 1960s were known for fighting the government’s lie…
 
Vinyl Nation premiered online on what was supposed to be Record Store Day to feed the tired, the poor, the huddled masses self-isolating and yearning to breathe that vinyl smell since Record Store Day was delayed. As a vinyl “expert”, did the movie stir your soul to evangelize the vinyl industry or cause you to throw up on the inside, just a little…
 
The corner dive bar is endangered! Government regulation, property taxes and lazy apple users are driving the dive bar to jump from the top of the Sears Tower. Into this environment enter two hipsters saving a Bucktown neighborhood pub. Should we be thankful or does Chicago need another Philz coffee chain store across from Starbucks?…
 
Lori Lightfoot rode seventeen percent support all the way to the Mayor’s office. Following her taxpayer funded trips to the coasts, reality has smacked her in the face like a newborn baby: The City of Chicago has an $838 million dollar 2020 budget shortfall. As a typical attorney with no business knowledge, she’s backtracking on some of her campaig…
 
The Record Store Day official list is out and it comes in three inches! Cosmopolitan elites love to appear anti-establishment by bashing this annual event, but they are the first ones with their hands out. There’s a new three inch format this year and it’s proof that the #cashgrab is in full effect. Looking at this year’s RSD exclusive list, what a…
 
Some cosmopolitan elites like to hate on the cashgrab of Record Store Day. Perhaps it’s their mass produced iWatch or chain coffee shop, but they love to hate big business. Move over Record Store Day, because HMV launched Vinyl Week to release independent artists like Bruce Springsteen and Madonna. They sold 77,000 lps over 9 days, answering vinyl …
 
This year marks the 30th anniversary since the fall of the Berlin Wall.The conventional wisdom is that Ronald Reagan’s speech in front of the Wall was the defining moment. However, you’ve been lied too, Eagles. The real hero that dismantled the Berlin Wall with nothing but his feathery wordsmithing and crooner’s mullet is none other than Germany’s …
 
El Presidente Trumpo’s America First agenda strikes again when he instructed his people to pull the US out of the Universal Postal Union. This obscure UN agreement stipulates that the USPS has to charge a below market rate for foreign originated package shipments. No one loves the USPS more than the Presidente, but is this just a love letter to the…
 
Richard Ashcroft, lead singer of the Verve, will finally begin earning royalties on soft rock schlock Bitter Sweet Symphony, his 1997 chart topper. Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have gracefully donated their songwriting credit back to Ashcroft after having sued for breach of sampling contract when the Stones were so down on their luck after Voodoo…
 
Cal Ripken, move over! Chicago Cubs Organist, Gary Pressy, just passed Cal’s consecutive games played record at 2,633. This is a record that will never be broken! Baseball’s last great iron man is with America’s favorite Chicago baseball club. With this achievement, does Gary Pressy guarantee induction into the baseball hall of fame on the first ba…
 
A group of Chicago Cubs superfans have decided that the world needs a musical interpretation of the Cubs World Series run in the context of a blue collar Cubs family losing their faith and then rediscovering it. Knowing that Joe Ricketts is the pro-Trump owner of the Cubs, what bothers you most about this musical?…
 
Chicago, the home of the start of Route 66, began a shared scooter program on June 15th. This 21st century invention proposes to solve the last mile challenge for short trips. However, many other transportation promises have blown a tire on their way to heaven. Will this e-scooter pilot end in a stairway to heaven or a highway to hell?…
 
The iconic Chicago small club the Double Door, replaced in Wicker Park by the expensive cooler company Yeti, will open this August in Uptown. The Double Door will provide the finishing touches to a free market solution initiated by their owners who failed to extend their lease. Darwin wins again, or does he? Was Wicker Park’s loss more than offset …
 
Our loyal readers know how strong our opinions are about cashgrab band Pearl Jam. Fortunately for you, Pearl Jam has been “selected” as the Record Store Day 2019 ambassadors. That means the PJ cashgrab is in fuller effect for 2019 than ever before! On an excitement level scale of one to ten, one being the Oscars and ten being the Splashlist Awards,…
 
The Record Store Day official list is out and it comes in three inches! (Real News) Cosmopolitan elites love to appear anti-establishment by bashing this annual event, but they are the first ones with their hands out. There’s a new three inch format this year and it’s proof that the #cashgrab is in full effect. Looking at this year’s RSD exclusive …
 
Newly minted 2019 Record Store Day Ambassadors, Pearl Jam, a caricature of themselves these last 20 years, have jumped on the Chicago Cubs bandwagon for the last five years. So much so that they not only played Wrigley Field every year for the last five, but also put out a double LP *and* a two-hour propaganda vehicle in 2017. On the emotional #cas…
 
Live music nerds best friend, Live Nation, has been thwarted by 2nd ward alderman Brian “BoHo” Hopkins and the local music venue gestapo. Plans for a thriving entertainment district, including medium sized music venues, were swatted away. Why are these mob-like small music venues challenging the free market job creator, Live Nation?…
 
The 21st century has shown that any idiot with a camera and some space can broadcast their “ideas” out to the world. This same effect has moved from the basement and into the studio. Say goodbye to CNN and say hello to One American News Network or NRATV. These upstarts are helping their audiences “think differently”. Are audiences suffering from fa…
 
In his quest to “Make American Great Again”, President Donald J. Trump may have accidentally turned on the flux capacitor and hit 88 miles per hour and taken us to a time when the big three networks dominated TV with their great shows. Whether it’s Murphy Brown, Roseanne or the intergalactic family saga Alf, reboots are all the rage in Hollywood. W…
 
The Black Friday Record Store Day official list is out, spreading a new hope amongst vinyl enthusiasts around the world. ) Although BFRSD is the smaller sibling to the original RSD in April, the volume of releases is still significant. However, the quality of black Friday edition releases is questioned in some cosmopolitan elitist circles. Looking …
 
Now that Record Store Day has captured the limitless boundaries of discerning consumers by tapping into the Zeitgeist of the Trump and Rauner Administrations, a nation turns its lonely eyes towards you, cassette store day! What? You weren’t aware of Cassette Store Day on October 13th? Neither are the cassette stores because there aren’t any! What h…
 
Google’s brilliant YouTube acquisition recently announced a change to their subscription services, YouTube Red and Google Music. The newly minted service, YouTube Music, builds upon the massive YouTube audience of 1.8 billion monthly users. This service clearly is a play for the future of music and tv due to all the additional content and media tha…
 
Sorry Eagles, we misinformed you. In a segment last year, we preached about the 2019 Chicago mayoral race. At the time we were convinced Rahm Emanuel was going to keep his stronghold in the City of Chicago. In a stunning development, Rahm dropped a bomb on political pundits by announcing that he will not seek reelection. With no incumbent for the 2…
 
A mere 5 months since the last movie in the Star Wars franchise went live, we have received from the heavens the second standalone movie, Solo. Following the initial standalone movie’s great success 1 and a half years ago, Solo has so far been both a critical disappointment and a commercial failure of U2 on iPhone proportions. Have you lost hope in…
 
Some esteemed members of this panel like to reference the overlords at iHeartRadio as their feeble attempt to diminish the greatest musical discovery service of all time, the radio. Their main flat radio argument seems to be that some crooked individual in a dark room is scheming with the artists to decide what should be the next hot song. Those sa…
 
Aquaculture, the process of raising seafood, has been on the rise in recent years due to the voracious appetite of Americans. Fortunately, the Midwest, where your HiFi Critics are based, by choice, is a potential garden of eden for aquaculture due to the ancient sea depositing salt on our bountiful land. In fact, the Midwest could become the soluti…
 
The term #cashgrab is thrown around loosely by some members of this illustrious panel. There have been attempts to define the term, but what is the real definition of the #cashgrab? Please enumerate specific criteria that define the term, specifically commenting on whether an actual exchange of payment must be present to attain #cashgrab status.…
 
Last year, your humble-ish host predicted that the biggest loser in 2017 was education. In a not very shocking development, Flat Earth, the concept that ended around the Middle Ages, has returned to the periphery of the mainstream. Glenn Hall has a viral Flat Earth video with the simplest irrefutable proof that the Earth is not round. In that 7 min…
 
Anthony Kennedy, the quintessential swing vote, recently announced his resignation from the Supreme Court at the end of this term. In a blow to Bernie Bros and bedwetting liberals, President Trump is about to name his second justice that will remain seated for 30 years. Considering that the Democrats changed the Senate confirmation rules on most ju…
 
During an episode last year, we predicted what establishment would exhibit the audacity of overconfidence. Now, Wendy’s has birthed upon the world a mixtape poking fun at their slow, dim-witted competitors that makes us think longingly about Kenny G’s Christmas album. What does it say about Wendy’s, vis-a-vis our recent online exclusive episode, th…
 
The day of reckoning is coming. The President has made his case over a year and a half and now the mid-Term elections, usually a referendum on the President, are ramping up. Many people are saying that the Democrats are highly likely to take the House of Representatives back for the first time since 2010. Others are saying that the Democrats can st…
 
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