Bottoms up! It’s a party, ancient-Ibiza style! Thanks to Dracula’s Guest, the Gals swing on over to the Balearic Islands to find more than they ever wanted about the ancient world’s most feared sharp shooters. Sources for today's episode: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sling_(weapon) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balearic_Islands https://short-histo…

Happy Halloween! Yabblins, the Drunk Dracula Gals are back with a very special presentation of “Dracula’s Guest” by Bram Stoker. It’s Jonathan Harker at his best (which is pretty bad), a carriage driver who did not sign up for this sh*t, and a wolf that just wants to snuggle. SPECIAL GUEST STAR BANDIT! (My dog has existential despair, and we used h…

Stupid Stonehenge updates, sacred circles without aliens, and I really have questions about the Kansas City Star. It's just another episode of Hot Drunk News! Also, it's official, Ancient D*ck Pics is my second favorite segment of Hot Drunk News. Obviously, "Would You Eat It?" is my fist. Sources for today: https://www.popsci.com/science/stonehenge…

I really tried with this episode, but there's not a whole lot that's uplifting in mythology for LGBTQI...and what I thought was going to be just a regular ragey episode turned into...well...you know it's bad when Other Jenn starts dropping F-bombs that aren't in the script. As I mention at the end, here are resources that I found for LGBTQI and spe…

There are tangents, there are rants, there are totally unexpected twists—and that's just the fairytale. The Gals are back! And to celebrate, we are unlocking one of our most EPIC Patreon episodes ever: the infamous Lit Crit Hour (also known as Cait Ruins Everything...Again). Head over to our PATREON and check out everything we have on offer: 40+ or…

This is the first and last time we EVER do an April Fool's episode because the joke was on us. Tech issues from beginning to end, and I had to record my end from my phone (apologies for the sound). I ended up having to call the cable company because my internet was SO bad. Turns out we had to have over 100 ft of cable replaced. Other Jenn clearly b…

I can't believe I have to f*cking do another episode about our favorite skull-crushing feminists, aka the Scythians. But we here at Drunk Mythology Gals are still totally team Ukraine and totally NOT team Ovid. Please join us in supporting the charities we mentioned who are doing amazing work for Ukraine! World Central Kitchen Tip of the Spear Land…

The theme of this episode is friends don't let friends do neurosurgery (unless they are neurosurgeons). Also, I don't think scientists should be allowed to have this much fun with Jello. *** From Olympus to Valhalla, we've got the goods on the gods, so join Cait, Original Gen, the Other Jenn, and SFX Kim as they spike and spill all the divine tea! …

Curses are the Hallmark cards of the ancient world. There's one for every occasion. To celebrate NOT Valentine's Day, we're exploring how the ancients used to sh*t-posting about their exes. And yes, this was originally supposed to come out on Valentine's Day, but I was at the transplant clinic for my treatment, and it just didn't happen. But since …

Rocks, rage, and Twitter. What else could it be but the myth of Sisyphus? It's time to rise and grind (your teeth) and go full girlboss on your existential despair about the absurd futility of life! Sources for today's episode: https://www.ebaumsworld.com/articles/people-are-being-asked-to-imagine-sisyphus-swole/87344939/ http://www.perseus.tufts.e…

Look, it has been a *year*. And since we specialize in ruining everything, join us in ruining New Year's Eve! Wishing you all a 2023 full of better things and the strength to endure the things that aren't.Von Drunk Mythology Gals

Well, like the end of any good cult recruitment process, we get some good old-fashioned love bombing. I hate this. Also, need to get belated Xmas gifts or use some of those gift cards? Check out the Gals and their books! Kim's Books! (High epic fantasy and urban paranormal...now with more fae!): https://www.amazon.com/stores/Kim-Alexander/author/B0…

We meet a morose motherf*cker of a ghost and get more culty-brain-breaking tactics. Also, next time, call 1-900-psychic if you want a better future prediction. *** From Olympus to Valhalla, we've got the goods on the gods, so join Cait, Original Gen, the Other Jenn, and SFX Kim as they spike and spill all the divine tea! If you'd like to support ou…

Are we sure this isn't actually about cult indoctrination? Because this feels a lot like a group criticism session. *side-eye at Dickens* Seething Punch: https://www.esquire.com/food-drink/drinks/a17293/charles-dickens-holiday-punch-1212/ Cratchitt "Hot Stuff" Punch: https://slate.com/culture/2014/12/christmas-carol-recipes-the-cratchits-hot-stuff-…

This is why you shouldn't look up old classmates on Facebook. Also, leave therapy to the professionals! *** From Olympus to Valhalla, we've got the goods on the gods, so join Cait, Original Gen, the Other Jenn, and SFX Kim as they spike and spill all the divine tea! If you'd like to support our podcast, head over to PATREON where we'll be uploading…

Let's just be clear: Marley is dead. (DRINK!) Also, beware glowing lobsters. No, seriously. We mean it. *** From Olympus to Valhalla, we've got the goods on the gods, so join Cait, Original Gen, the Other Jenn, and SFX Kim as they spike and spill all the divine tea! If you'd like to support our podcast, head over to PATREON where we'll be uploading…

Scrooge isn't a jerk. He's just an introvert pushed to his limit by happy people. Also, Marley really is dead. (DRINK!) Here's the link to the Gutenberg source of A Christmas Carol: https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/46 *** From Olympus to Valhalla, we've got the goods on the gods, so join Cait, Original Gen, the Other Jenn, and SFX Kim as they spike…

We're back!!! Just in time to ruin the holidays for everyone! Get ready for the Drunk Mythology Gals version of..."A Christmas Carol!" It's not the annotated version you want, but it's probably the annotated version you deserve.... Sources for today's episode: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/bookreviews/6349297/Charles-Dickens.html https:…

Dracula is over, and it’s time to catch up on…Hot Drunk News! This week’s stories include: Road construction strikes again! You really gonna drink that? Never gamble with the Romans (because f*ck them) Sources for today’s stories: https://arkeologerna.com/unikt-fynd-av-vikingatida-svard-i-vastmanland/ https://www.sacbee.com/news/nation-world/world/…

What better way to celebrate Halloween than with a…myth?…about vampires. Except, it’s not a myth, it’s just infuriatingly wrong. Oh, and it’s never aliens, as OUR GUEST Fredrik from DIGGING UP ANCIENT ALIENS will tell you. You have to listen to Fredrik’s podcast (anywhere you get podcasts)! Website: https://diggingupancientaliens.com/ Social Media:…

It’s the chapter 27 recap, the gals are STILL playing the Dear Madam Mina drinking game, and Dracula sure is different the second time you read it (twenty years later!). Also…what’s up for next year? Let us know what you’d like us to read for Halloween or any other holiday (or non-holiday…we’re up for ruining literature any ol’ time!). Thanks for c…

Some hot Transylvanian chicks invite Mina for a girls night out, we get one last dose of casual racism, a couple characters go out with a whimper not a bang, THE F*CKING END. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk an…

Is there no end to the members of the Swales clan, Mina channels Other Jenn and uses a spreadsheet, and Van Helsing takes all the credit. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula that you n…

Van Helping is a man-child-brain, Dr Seward pouts about using pens, and Mina herself is STILL the only one with an actual clue. Check out our episode artwork at https://instagram.com/drunkmythologygals *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. Th…

The gang decides to keep Mina in the dark AGAIN, we meet a long-lost relative of Mr. Swales, and try not to get too excited, but we get more travel itinerary details. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated …

More boxes—but with a dash of breaking and entering, the count does his own stunts, and Mina has the first useful idea in 100+ pages. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula that you never…

We find out how Renfield yeeted on out of the mortal plane, do we REALLY trust these guys to pull off a successful burglary, and Mina shows us what happens when electrolysis goes bad. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly…

Listen, all I got for this one is a salute to Dracula. PLAY ON, PLAYAH! Oh, and you can't say that Renfield didn't try to warn them. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula that you never …

Harker goes on the most boring mission ever, Dr. Seward is once again the worst mental specialist ever, and the count is just toying with them now by using the worst PUN EVER. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk a…

The "men" decide to go house hunting, we get a lesson on how NOT to do real estate staging, and did we not learn anything from Lucy about why you don't leave anyone alone? *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annot…

Renfield proves that out of all of them, he’s the only one who knows how to talk to a lady. Van Helsing leans into cult gas-lighting, I mean explanations. And, honestly, Quincey Morris is the only one with a darn-tootin’ ounce of sense! *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "…

The Harkers join the Scooby Gang. Everyone decides that Mina makes a decent Lucy substitute. And without Van Helsing, the gang actually gets a little closer to actual answers. Go f*cking figure. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is t…

The Scooby Gang heads to the graveyard. Lucy gives us an Only Fans-worthy encore. And Van Helsing encourages Lord Saltine Cracker with a little necrophilia. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of…

Dr Seward gets offended, Van Helsing plays truth or dare (and actually takes the key with him), and are we finally going to get some answers? HAHAHAHA what do you think this is? A well thought-out story? *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. …

The promise about Harker’s diary ages REALLY well, Van Helsing toys with Mina and Dr. Seward because of course he does, and Jonathan decides to start writing in his diary again (unless he changes his mind). *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audibl…

Lucy makes for a purdy purdy corpse, Van Helsing really is just a creepy groomer, and we meet England’s THIRD worst reporter. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula that you never knew yo…

A character we don’t give a shit about dies, Mina gloats, Renfield chokes, we find out Van Helsing is really into blood play, and Lucy goes full metal Shakespeare. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated ver…

Mrs. Westenra reminds us why you shouldn’t take medical advice from Facebook, we meet England’s second worst reporter, and Lucy, despite knowing better, does the thing. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotate…

It’s a whole bunch of THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DO THE THING because Dr. Seward and Van Helsing are clearly gunning for a major medical malpractice suit. Also, Lucy is picky about flowers. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly …

Mina gets married (unless Jonathan changes his mind), Lucy gets sick, Arthur is about as interesting as an unsalted saltine cracker, and Dr. Seward has his hands full…haha *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annot…

Lucy is a drama queen (SURPRISE), Mina would never cut it as a ladies’ maid, and we get shipping manifests, hospital notifications, and…RENFIELD! *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula th…

This is not how you write a newspaper article, STROKER! Also, goodbye (and good riddance) to Mr. Swales, and one very sad Russian captain really just needs more vodka. https://bit.ly/3fNePGR *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the s…

Mina spends a lot of time down by the...HAHABAH, Mr. Swales doesn't know when to shut up, and Cait genuinely apologizes to all of northern England, Scotland, and Ireland for whateverthef*ck her accent is. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible.…

Mina Murray just wants to help, Lucy Westenra is secretly a Southern Baptist mean girl, and Stoker is really into the reverse harem thing. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula that you …

We're not saying there's subtext in this chapter...we're just saying there's subtext. Harker can't decide things (SURPRISE!), Dracula gets a spa day, and Stoker gets ahead of himself. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly…

Jonathan Harker is a horror movie blonde virgin cheerleader who goes alone to the basement. Fight me. Also...he might want to see someone about his mood swings. Maybe he's too emotional to handle important business trips? *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This …

Jonathan continues to be an angsty 13 year old girl by writing in his diary no matter what happens. Also, despite the warnings to NOT DO THE THING…HE DOES THE THING. And then writes about it in his diary. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible.…

There's nothing like a little quaint 19th century prejudice to kick things off with, amIright? Things (including Jonathan Harker's trip) go a little off the rails. But don't worry...we got this. Mostly. *** For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. T…

For the month of October, the Gals will be bringing their unique...talents?...to a reading of Bram Stoker's "Dracula." This ain't no Audible. This is the slightly drunk annotated version of Dracula that you never knew you never needed... Get all 28 episodes—a chapter a day—right here in your regular DMG feed! We'll also be doing our regular weekly …

Even the ancients loved school supplies, from ye olde Trapper Keepers, to their equivalent of a Swingline stapler, to PTA politics, it's the (tardy) back to school episode! *** From Olympus to Valhalla, we've got the goods on the gods, so join Cait, Original Gen, the Other Jenn, and SFX Kim as they spike and spill all the divine tea! If you'd like …