Happily Ever After Is Just The Beginning! Lesli Doares, LMFT öffentlich
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Happily Ever After Is Just The Beginning! - Lesli Doares, LMFT

Happily Ever After Is Just The Beginning! - Lesli Doares, LMFT

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Happily Ever After is not just a mythical place somewhere over the rainbow. With attention and love you can bring that feeling to your relationship. Learning to communicate your real needs and desires as well as understanding your partners’ will help you foster the feeling of acceptance and contentment you’ve always dreamed of. It’s not just magic and chemistry but a way of thinking and behaving that lets you develop as equal partners. Join us on Happily Ever After for practical tips you can ...
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Who doesn’t want a passionate marriage? But do you really know what that means? Or what it takes? Passion is a much more complicated topic than most of us want to deal with. It isn’t just ripping each other’s clothes off as soon as you are within sight of each other. It’s about all the little choices you make throughout the day as well as avoiding …
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Far too many people believe that relationships are natural. You meet someone, fall in love, plan a life together and go on autopilot. This is not a prescription for success. It’s a prescription for flying into the side of a mountain. That’s where many people find themselves at the beginning of every year. Wondering why their marriages are strugglin…
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ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 07-27-2020. Nothing thrives on neglect and your marriage is no different. But it’s easy to let things go because “it’s not that bad” or other things take priority—your kids, job, social media. If you have lost touch with each other, being stuck together without your usual outlets may feel like torture. But it doesn’t have to. C…
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No-fault divorce began in California in 1969 when Ronald Reagan was governor. It is now the norm in all fifty states. But when it requires both people to consent to getting married, should only one person be able to dissolve it? We’re now on the third generation of easy divorce, with many people never having seen a successful marriage. Many young p…
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Once a cheater, always a cheater—right? But what if that’s not true. Infidelity is extremely painful, but it doesn’t have to be life sentence, for either of you. It is possible to recover from it and build a relationship that is more authentic and healthier. Marriage therapist, author, and the host of ‘The Meaningful Life with Andrew G Marshall pod…
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When you think about your marriage do you smile? Or do you wonder why you’re even still in it? Marriage shouldn’t be hard. Or work. Or drudgery. If it’s any of those things, then it isn’t serving you well. If you and your partner are feeling disconnected and more like roommates than lovers, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and author Anna Sve…
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“Man UP”. “Act like a man.” “Real men don’t…..” If you’ve ever heard or made these statements, or something like them, what was the outcome? While the patriarchy has given men, especially white men, a lot of power, it also has “boxed” them in to performing in a certain way to be acceptable. This creates some very damaging consequences for men indiv…
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Do you love your partner but aren’t sure you’re in love with them anymore? Do you wonder where the magic has gone? Do you worry it won’t ever come back? Are you settling for being roommates when you want so much more? If so, then Jeff Forte, executive and PEAK Performance Coach and author of The 90-Minute Marriage Miracle, has the answers. He not o…
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Expecting your marriage to be clear sailing with n’er a squall in sight is setting you up for disappointment and resentment. Far too many couples focus on the wedding day instead of what they want the marriage to look like. As a result, they are not prepared to handle the predictable challenges when they inevitably show up. And, without the necessa…
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Have you ever heard a couple on the brink of divorce say they never loved each other in the first place? But you were at their wedding and you know that’s not true. Maybe you’ve even found yourself thinking this about your spouse. But that’s memory rewriting itself. This happens because the marriage has been unraveling in predictable ways over the …
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I often tell people that couples work is actually simultaneous individual work. It’s common to focus on what your partner is doing, but the only one you have control over is you. Looking within is often where the answers lie. The good news is that you don’t have to tackle this on your own. Award-winning memoirist, poet, and speaker Dr. Diana Raab r…
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Okay, trick question. For most of us, it’s both. Intimacy (and sex) is important in a romantic relationship. And it’s a concern in many marriages. Intimacy is a source of anxiety for far too many couples. Like many things, good sex and real intimacy are complicated. There are so many factors at play that a truly enjoyable experience for you both ca…
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Countless people think it’s their job to make their partners happy. While that is a wonderful concept, it’s impossible to do. You are responsible for your happiness. Your partner is responsible for theirs. But even focusing on happiness in that way is a treacherous path. The way to see things in a more positive, possibly even happy, way is to focus…
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You hear it all the time: Marriage takes work. But what if there was something you could easily do everyday that would make it easier? Guess what? There is. It doesn’t cost any money and you don’t even need to leave your house. Dr. Erin Leyba, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the author of Joy Fixes for Weary Parents, reveals and discusses this …
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Many people jump to sex when they hear the word intimacy. If pressed, they may reluctantly include forms of affection. So you may be surprised to learn that there are actually ten different types of intimacy. Physical intimacy is just one kind, not the whole shebang. EMDR Certified Therapist Samantha Bickham reveals what the other nine types are an…
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For many, this time of year can be really stressful. Instead of feeling joyous and full of good cheer, you may be feeling anxious instead. Oh, you might put a smile on your face and commit to following all the usual traditions, but you’re already exhausted by overwhelm. And overly focusing on making everyone’s holidays happy whether they, or you, l…
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I was in elementary school when both the book and the movie Love Story were released. It’s classic line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”, struck me as stupid even then. I do suspect that for many people it’s easier to say, “I love you”, than to say, “I am sorry”. And a healthy marriage needs both those sentiments to be expressed. Clin…
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Intimacy is what most of us are looking for in our marriage. It is more than just physical, but how you interact physically is important. The challenge? Sex is everywhere, but good information about healthy sexuality is not. This makes creating real intimacy in your relationship difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Andrew Bauman, licensed mental h…
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People need touch—a hug, a snuggle, and, yes, sex—to be healthy. What should seem straight forward is often quite complicated. Stress, hormone levels, time and more, all play a role in how healthy and intimate your marriage is. Women’s Intimate Health Expert Dr. Carolyn DeLucia reveals what every couple needs to know to create deep intimacy and las…
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Is “Busy” your answer to the question, “How are you?” For a lot of us, that seems to be the standard response. Not only does it seem to be the new normal, it seems to be the new status symbol. But accepting this as a daily practice has its costs, especially to your marriage. If you rate your marriage as fine or okay, you may be putting it on the ba…
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You’ve asked your partner to do something different. Or, maybe, your partner has asked you to. The two of you might even agree that the change will help your relationship. You also agree to make the change and then, …. you find yourself doing the same old thing. No matter how inclined you are to make the change, sticking with it seems impossible. T…
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Top things married couples fight about: money and sex. Rarely is it because there is an overabundance of either. And both topics are extremely personal. If one of you is unhappy with how often you are physically intimate, then your relationship has a problem. But how can you talk to your partner about this really important topic? Marriage Counselor…
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All relationships have ups and downs. This often comes as a surprise to couples who think everything will be sunshine and roses on their wedding day. It can make them think they might have made a mistake. But it actually is quite normal. If things aren’t going quite the way you expected, you might fall into the common trap of thinking your only opt…
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There’s a saying that forewarned is forearmed. This is true when it comes to your marriage as well. Knowing what behaviors are harmful is what is going to keep your relationship out of danger. But that means not only knowing what to look for but also knowing how to respond if any of these signs show up. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Virgin…
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So there you are, having what you think is a non-controversial conversation with your spouse, when suddenly all you know what breaks lose. You can no longer think straight and all of your good intentions to stay on topic, be open to listening, and remain calm have gone out the window. What just happened? Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and C…
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One of the things that seems to surprise couples once they leave the “honeymoon” phase of their relationship, is that they are two different people. This realization is at the root of all the disagreements that follow. The bottom line isn’t that you married the wrong person. It’s that you need to develop strategies to deal with your differences. On…
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Did you just read that as sex? Many people equate intimacy with sex—but it is so much more. There is physical intimacy (of which sex is just one part), spiritual intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and emotional intimacy as well. The intimacy most of us are searching for involves all of them. And the type that holds a marriage together and helps it th…
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If “fine” and “okay” are the way you describe your marriage, you may be settling for less than what’s possible. You definitely are settling for less than you deserve. While your relationship may not always be filled with hot passion and fireworks, it shouldn’t feel bland or “just enough” either. Fear and ignorance (in the true meaning of the word) …
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t’s commonly accepted that marriage is hard. That it requires work. That’s only because many couples stop doing the things that led to getting married in the first place. Yes, everyday life happens. Sometimes even bad things happen. But none of it has to sink your marriage. Author Leah Hefner reveals how three simple behaviors can protect and suppo…
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Good communication alone will not ensure a Happily Ever After marriage but, without it, you don’t stand a chance. One of the biggest challenges couples face is learning how to communicate effectively. As with most things, it’s easier to look at where the other person is falling short than to look in the mirror and figure out our part. You’ve been t…
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I’m sure you’ve heard that marriage takes hard work. I completely disagree. Yes, it takes effort but that’s not the same thing. Anything worth doing requires some active behavior on your part. And you want your efforts to be in the right direction to bring about positive results. A lot of the “work” people put into their relationships does the oppo…
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If your marriage isn’t all you want it to be, who is responsible? The truth? You both are. Every decision you each have made has brought you to this situation. And if you both keep doing the same things, you will stay in the same place. So how do you move forward? Relationship Coach and author Matthew Fray reveals some lessons he learned the hard w…
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Most people lie, even the ones who say they value truth and honesty. Because anything that isn’t the truth is a lie. Not saying something is a lie of omission. White lies are still lies. Being completely honest doesn’t require being harsh. It does require courage. And your marriage will be the better for it. Author Javier Ortega-Araiza reveals thre…
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Women want men to be open and intimate. To share their thoughts and feelings. To really connect. Unfortunately, the capacity for intimacy that men are born with has been socialized out of them. The good news? It can be relearned. Randell Turner, Child and Family Therapist and founder of Unbreakable Bond, explains why this is important and how to do…
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Do you have what it takes to have a long-term marriage that is actually happy and fulfilling? If you’re like a lot of people, you might be afraid you don’t. Yes, love is a necessary component. But you can’t be passive about it. Like a lot of things, love will wane if you aren’t feeding it. And there are specific things you can do to keep it alive a…
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In theory, money is merely the means by which you acquire goods and services. In reality, it is so much more. It’s seen as a measure of success, self-worth, freedom, love, safety, security, and on and on. Getting on the same page financially with your spouse is incredibly important for the success of your marriage. Personal finance and economics ed…
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All relationships face challenges. This is because you have two people trying to navigate through their differences. Relationship professionals are not immune from this very human experience. What they do have is the knowledge and tools to successfully negotiate the differences. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Susan Hartman Brenizer reveals …
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Have you ever been having a conversation with your spouse that suddenly seems to veer off course and right into an argument? If so, you’re not alone. But how you get the conversation, and your marriage, back on track is key to its success. Good communication is a skill that you can learn. Robert Taibbi, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author,…
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Many people think that love is all you need for your marriage to succeed. But most people who divorce loved their spouses once. The truth is that every relationship you had before your marriage ended for one reason or another. So, what makes your marriage any likelier to succeed? Love is a desirable quality but it’s insufficient. What you really ne…
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When was the last time you and your spouse had fun together? Not with the family, but just with each other? If you can’t remember, or if you don’t make it a regular thing, your marriage could be in trouble. Laughter isn’t just good medicine for you personally, it can serve as the glue for your relationship. Relationship experts Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin…
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Do you believe that marriage takes work? Do you believe that marriage is the place sex goes to die? Do you believe that you need to compromise and sacrifice who you are for your marriage to work? Do you believe that this is the best you’re going to get so just accept it? STOP. NOW. These statements are only true if you choose to continue believing …
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Marriage is for grownups. This doesn’t mean you are over 18 or some other arbitrary age of majority. It means that you are emotionally ready to commit to creating a life with someone else. Because, while marriage can and should be about love, it’s about so much more. And one of those things is emotional maturity. Pastor and author, Marc Alan Schels…
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Per a 2015 study, women initiate two-thirds of divorces. College-educated women initiate about 90% of them. These are statistics that should alarm anyone who is married. It may be that women are unhappier in their marriages then men are. If this is true, is divorce the answer? Could something else be going on? Women’s Empowerment Coach Julie Daniel…
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You may think that you and your spouse don’t communicate. But the truth is, you are never not communicating. It might be that you don’t like what the other is expressing. It might be that you are communicating at different levels. It might be that the surface level way you normally communicate leaves you feeling disconnected and unheard. Marriage a…
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There’s an expression—if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. Could this be the reason for so many marriages to either fail or just be miserable? People fall in love, get into a serious relationship, and then decide to get married. What they often don’t do is talk about what they want their marriage to look like. Dr. Frieda Birnbaum, a research psyc…
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You may think that you and your spouse don’t communicate. But the truth is, you are never not communicating. It might be that you don’t like what the other is expressing. It might be that you are communicating at different levels. It might be that the surface level way you normally communicate leaves you feeling disconnected and unheard. Marriage a…
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The three hardest words to say are not “I love you” but “I am sorry”. There is a lot of baggage and misunderstanding when it comes to apologizing that many people can’t bring themselves to offer them. But a good apology can heal the rift in your marriage. Andrew Blackwood is a coach, speaker, and the author of The Art of a Genuine Apology: Bringing…
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With all that’s happening in the world right now, are you making time for intimacy? This may seem like a trick question but the amount of sex people are having has been diminishing in recent years. Some of this has to do with more people living alone, but high levels of stress and worry may be making it worse. Sheltering in place, working from home…
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Most people would not stay in a relationship where they feel physically unsafe. But if you don’t feel emotionally safe, that can be equally problematic to your marriage. Emotional safety is important for trust and intimacy. Without those, a good marriage is impossible. And far too many couples don’t know what constitutes emotional safety or how to …
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